Skip to content
https://jackal.today/

Jackal.Today satirical news site

Jackal.Today satirical news site

  • Home
  • Breaking
    • Sport News
    • The Orange Oracle
  • Live
  • Spin the fake!
  • Elephant Reads CNN
  • Videos
  • Movie News
  • Music News
    • Phil Anselmo Daily Grimaces
  • Games News
  • Jackal Research Division
    • Legalizer
    • Spin Of The Day
  • Editorial
    • Advertise with us!
    • About Satirical Fake News Site Jackal.Today
    • Agreements and Personal data
    • Terms and Conditions
    • Opt-out preferences
    • Contact the editorial team
    • Authors

Tag: take that

Armatus Preview — A Gothic Roguelike That’s Like Roguelikes, But Gothic
Breaking, Games News

Armatus Preview — A Gothic Roguelike That’s Like Roguelikes, But Gothic

Pixel P. SnarkbyteFebruary 20, 2026February 20, 2026

Oh boy, here we go again—another roguelike that thinks it’s the second coming of gaming. This time, it’s Armatus, and…

Eric Dane Recorded “Famous Last Words” Special With Netflix Before His Death – Turns Out He Was Just Ahead of the Curve on Cliffhangers
Eric Dane’s Final Words Are Out, And No, They’re Not “Call Me McSteamy One Last Time”
Breaking, Movie News

Eric Dane Recorded “Famous Last Words” Special With Netflix Before His Death – Turns Out He Was Just Ahead of the Curve on Cliffhangers

Pixel P. SnarkbyteFebruary 20, 2026February 20, 2026

Well, folks, the Grim Reaper finally came knocking for Eric Dane, but not before he got a chance to sit…

Trump’s White House Ballroom: Where the Only Fast-Track Is the Dance Floor, Not the Constitution!
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

Trump’s White House Ballroom: Where the Only Fast-Track Is the Dance Floor, Not the Constitution!

Big ElephantFebruary 19, 2026February 19, 2026

Trump’s East Wing Ballroom Plan Zooms Past Bureaucratic Bullcrap The Deep State’s “independent” art committee just rubber-stamped President Trump’s East…

METAL CHURCH Unleashes Their 13th Studio Album, ‘Dead To Rights’ – Because Who Needs Album 12 Anyway?
Breaking, Music News

METAL CHURCH Unleashes Their 13th Studio Album, ‘Dead To Rights’ – Because Who Needs Album 12 Anyway?

Chord F. DiscordFebruary 6, 2026February 6, 2026

Attention all thrashers, headbangers, and general metal misfits! METAL CHURCH is back with “Dead To Rights” — and no, they…

VOIVOD Finally Doing Something New, But Only After Sounding Like They’re in a Sci-Fi Opera With a Symphony
Breaking, Music News

VOIVOD Finally Doing Something New, But Only After Sounding Like They’re in a Sci-Fi Opera With a Symphony

Chord F. DiscordFebruary 4, 2026February 4, 2026

Well, look who’s finally decided to crawl out of their sci-fi bunker and grace us with their presence — it’s…

Watch: KITTIE’s Stand-In Bassist RACHEL GONZALES Steals the Show on ‘ShipRocked’ Cruise – Because Original Bassists Are So Last Year!
Breaking, Music News

Watch: KITTIE’s Stand-In Bassist RACHEL GONZALES Steals the Show on ‘ShipRocked’ Cruise – Because Original Bassists Are So Last Year!

Chord F. DiscordFebruary 2, 2026February 2, 2026

KITTIE Returns to ShipRocked, Bassist Bails for Family Drama! In a shocking twist that sent shockwaves through the cruise ship…

WWE 2K26: The Game That’ll Make You Question Your Life Choices and Possibly Your Wrestling Career Dreams
Breaking, Games News

WWE 2K26: The Game That’ll Make You Question Your Life Choices and Possibly Your Wrestling Career Dreams

Pixel P. SnarkbyteFebruary 1, 2026February 1, 2026

CM Punk Is Finally Back In WWE 2K26 – But Only In Video Game Form Oh look, CM Punk is…

The iPhone 17: Apple’s Magical AI Savior or Just Another Shiny Distraction?
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

The iPhone 17: Apple’s Magical AI Savior or Just Another Shiny Distraction?

Big ElephantJanuary 29, 2026January 29, 2026

Big Tech’s Best Kept Secret: Apple’s iPhone 17 Just Saved America (Again) While Silicon Valley elitists waste billions on their…

Breaking Benjamin’s Keith Wallen Finally Gets a Solo Gig That Isn’t Just ‘Breaking Benjamin’
Breaking, Music News

Breaking Benjamin’s Keith Wallen Finally Gets a Solo Gig That Isn’t Just ‘Breaking Benjamin’

Chord F. DiscordJanuary 23, 2026January 23, 2026

🎶 Unleash the Acoustic Dragon: Keith Wallen’s New Single “A Thin Line” is Here to Haunt Your Playlists! 🎶 In…

Ubisoft Finally Learns That Six Cancelled Games Is A Firing Offense
Breaking, Games News

Ubisoft Finally Learns That Six Cancelled Games Is A Firing Offense

Pixel P. SnarkbyteJanuary 22, 2026January 22, 2026

Oh look, another Tuesday, another corporate restructuring at Ubisoft that definitely isn’t a panic-induced fever dream! 🎢 It’s the time…

Posts pagination

Previous 1 … 3 4 5 Next

Latest posts

  • Kid Rock Claims Trump Support Hurt His Career
  • The Onion’s Exclusive Interview With Elizabeth Holmes
  • Garfield’s latest concoction mashes auto battlers with battle royale chaos predictably
  • Dispatch Turns One With Bloated Update To Milk Players Some More
  • Ali G Movie Falls Flat With Unfunny Humor

Editorial
Ads cut
Advertise with us

Introducing Jackal.Today: The Advertising Empire You’ve Always Dreamed Of!

Finn October 8, 2024
Editorial
Editorial 2026 main
Breaking, Editorial

Jackal Today’s New Year Message: We Hope 2026 Finally Stops Plagiarizing Our Satire as Breaking News

Finn December 31, 2025
October 2026
S M T W T F S
 123
45678910
11121314151617
18192021222324
25262728293031
« Sep    
Copyright © 2026 Jackal.Today satirical news site | Spotlight News by Ascendoor | Powered by WordPress.