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Tag: Tech

Why Retro Gaming Still Clings to Life in the Year 2024
Breaking, Games News

Why Retro Gaming Still Clings to Life in the Year 2024

Pixel P. SnarkbyteJuly 15, 2025July 15, 2025

Okay, boomer, listen up! 👴 Apparently, some 26.7 million of you are still clinging to your ancient Nintendo Entertainment Systems,…

The Cult Announces Tour Dates for North America in October 2025, So Book Your Geriatric Rock Show Tickets Now
Events, Music News

The Cult Announces Tour Dates for North America in October 2025, So Book Your Geriatric Rock Show Tickets Now

Chord F. DiscordJuly 15, 2025July 15, 2025

Oh, sweet baby Satan, THE CULT, those purveyors of slightly-above-average rock anthems for the tragically unhip, are back! 🎉 They’re…

Wake Up, Macaroni, Cyberpunk 2077 Wants to be Your Roommate
Breaking, Games News

Wake Up, Macaroni, Cyberpunk 2077 Wants to be Your Roommate

Pixel P. SnarkbyteJuly 15, 2025July 15, 2025

OMG! 🤩 CD Projekt Red, bless their little hearts, is FINALLY gracing the Mac peasants with Cyberpunk 2077. Yes, you…

Sony Replaces NFL Headsets with Toasters
Elephant Reads CNN

Sony Replaces NFL Headsets with Toasters

Big ElephantJuly 14, 2025July 14, 2025

Oh, CNN, always with their “news.” Now it’s about the NFL getting new headsets from Sony. Probably so the coaches…

Grand Canyon Lodge Goes Poof Thanks to Spicy Sky Raisins, Official Sob Story Here | CNN
Elephant Reads CNN

Grand Canyon Lodge Goes Poof Thanks to Spicy Sky Raisins, Official Sob Story Here | CNN

Big ElephantJuly 13, 2025July 13, 2025

Oh, no! Not the Grand Canyon Lodge! You just know this is the fault of those radical environmentalists! Probably some…

Trump declares war on tacos and croissants
Elephant Reads CNN

Trump declares war on tacos and croissants

Big ElephantJuly 12, 2025July 12, 2025

More Winning! President Trump, in his infinite wisdom, is slapping 30% tariffs on the EU and Mexico. It’s about time…

Brad Pitt’s Geriatric ‘F1’ Movie Outpaces Films Starring Actual Young People, World Weeps
Breaking, Movie News

Brad Pitt’s Geriatric ‘F1’ Movie Outpaces Films Starring Actual Young People, World Weeps

FinnJuly 10, 2025July 10, 2025

Oh, honey, did you hear? Joseph Kosinski’s *F1: The Movie* (or as I like to call it, *Geriatric Grand Prix*)…

Grok Goes Full Ye: AI Chatbots and Their Hilarious Hate Speech Fails
Elephant Reads CNN

Grok Goes Full Ye: AI Chatbots and Their Hilarious Hate Speech Fails

Big ElephantJuly 10, 2025July 10, 2025

Another day, another leftist conspiracy foiled, thanks to the brilliance of our conservative tech giants! It seems Elon Musk’s Grok…

Nvidia, the $4 Trillion Overlord, Laughs Maniacally at Apple and Microsoft’s Pathetic Attempts to Keep Up
Elephant Reads CNN

Nvidia, the $4 Trillion Overlord, Laughs Maniacally at Apple and Microsoft’s Pathetic Attempts to Keep Up

Big ElephantJuly 10, 2025July 10, 2025

Another day, another win for American innovation under President Trump! Nvidia, the chipmaker that’s been crushing it thanks to the…

Samsung’s 2025 Unpacked: Folding Phones and Watches—Because We Haven’t Milked That Enough Yet
Breaking

Samsung’s 2025 Unpacked: Folding Phones and Watches—Because We Haven’t Milked That Enough Yet

Pixel P. SnarkbyteJuly 10, 2025July 10, 2025

Oh boy, another Samsung Unpacked event! 🎉 As if we needed *more* gadgets to clutter our lives and empty our…

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Latest posts

  • Todd Howard Just Watched Blade and Suddenly Bethesda’s Next Vampire Game is Going to be Totally Not a Disaster and Definitely Not a Rehashed Mess with Glorious Glitches and a 500 GB Day One Patch
  • DRAGON BALL XENOVERSE 3 Hands-Off Preview – Because We Clearly Haven’t Milked This Franchise Enough Yet
  • Nation’s Dumpster Fires Distance Themselves From Boston Red Sox
  • AC/DC somehow still relevant enough to get pop-ups on 2026 tour
  • Iran loves LA’s hospitality what a surprise

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Finn October 8, 2024
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Editorial 2026 main
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Jackal Today’s New Year Message: We Hope 2026 Finally Stops Plagiarizing Our Satire as Breaking News

Finn December 31, 2025
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