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Tag: The Thing

Trump Now Charging For Truth Because Free Speech Is Overrated
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

Trump Now Charging For Truth Because Free Speech Is Overrated

Big ElephantAugust 12, 2026

Folks, I almost spilled my coffee reading this one. A federal lawsuit has been filed against President Donald Trump, claiming…

Oil Flowing Normally Again Except When It’s Not
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

Oil Flowing Normally Again Except When It’s Not

Big ElephantAugust 12, 2026

Folks, I’m sipping my coffee and reading about Energy Secretary Chris Wright’s latest claim that oil exports from the Middle…

Nation Divided Over Trump’s Data Center Crush
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

Nation Divided Over Trump’s Data Center Crush

Big ElephantAugust 11, 2026

Folks, I almost spilled my coffee reading this one. It seems like President Donald Trump is going against the grain,…

Abuser Accused Rep Still Running Because Why Not Apparently
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

Abuser Accused Rep Still Running Because Why Not Apparently

Big ElephantAugust 9, 2026

Folks, I almost spilled my coffee reading this one. Rep. Max Miller is still in the running for his seat…

Patriotism now a competitive youth sport apparently
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

Patriotism now a competitive youth sport apparently

Big ElephantAugust 9, 2026

Folks, I just about spit out my coffee reading about the Patriot Games, a new Trump-backed youth competition that’s being…

ICE Finally Gets With The Times And Buys Body Cameras
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

ICE Finally Gets With The Times And Buys Body Cameras

Big ElephantAugust 8, 2026

Folks, I almost spilled my coffee reading this one. The US Immigration and Customs Enforcement (ICE) is planning to equip…

Russia’s Hospitality Reaches New Heights of Almost Killing Guests
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

Russia’s Hospitality Reaches New Heights of Almost Killing Guests

Big ElephantAugust 7, 2026

Folks, I almost spilled my coffee reading this one. Concerns are mounting about the wellbeing of an American detained in…

Ford Gambles Big On dirt Cheap Electric Pickup Luxury
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

Ford Gambles Big On dirt Cheap Electric Pickup Luxury

Big ElephantAugust 7, 2026

Folks, I almost spilled my coffee reading this one. Ford is coming out with a new electric pickup truck called…

Nation Braces for Underwhelming Jobs Report Numbers Again
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

Nation Braces for Underwhelming Jobs Report Numbers Again

Big ElephantAugust 7, 2026

Folks, I almost spilled my coffee reading this one. The latest jobs report is out, and economists are expecting it…

Arsonist Achieves Impressive Wildfire Streak
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

Arsonist Achieves Impressive Wildfire Streak

Big ElephantAugust 6, 2026

Folks, I’m sitting here sipping my coffee, reading about the wildfires in Washington state, and I just can’t believe what…

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  • Finally Something To Make You Forget Existential Dread Monumental

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