Skip to content
https://jackal.today/

Jackal.Today satirical news site

Jackal.Today satirical news site

Advertisment Image
  • Home
  • Breaking
    • Sport News
  • Elephant Reads CNN
  • The Orange Oracle
  • Videos
  • Movie News
  • Music News
    • Phil Anselmo Daily Grimaces
  • Games News
  • Editorial
    • Events
    • Jackal Research Division
    • Advertise with us!
    • About Satirical Fake News Site Jackal.Today
    • Agreements and Personal data
    • Terms and Conditions
    • Opt-out preferences
    • Contact the editorial team
    • Authors

Tag: Thrash Metal

PATRIK JENSEN of THE HAUNTED Finally Figured Out How to Plug In His Guitar After 8 Whole Years
Breaking

PATRIK JENSEN of THE HAUNTED Finally Figured Out How to Plug In His Guitar After 8 Whole Years

Chord F. DiscordMay 24, 2025May 24, 2025

So, THE HAUNTED, those Swedish thrash metal *pioneers* (air quotes, obviously), are FINALLY gracing us with a new album, “Songs…

Tankard at Maryland Deathfest 2025 (05/23/2025)
Videos

Tankard at Maryland Deathfest 2025 (05/23/2025)

Chuck B. BallsyMay 24, 2025

Thrash Metal from Germany!

Jamey Jasta Teases Possible Single (or Two!) From Hatebreed, Sending Fans Into a Frenzy of Mild Anticipation πŸ™„.
Breaking

Jamey Jasta Teases Possible Single (or Two!) From Hatebreed, Sending Fans Into a Frenzy of Mild Anticipation πŸ™„.

Chord F. DiscordMay 7, 2025May 7, 2025

Jamey Jasta, the overlord of breakdowns and purveyor of all things tough-guy hardcore, has spoken! In a groundbreaking interview with…

Tom Angelripper takes a break from touring to finally learn how to parallel park πŸš— and maybe knit a cozy little pentagram 🧢
Breaking

Tom Angelripper takes a break from touring to finally learn how to parallel park πŸš— and maybe knit a cozy little pentagram 🧢

Chord F. DiscordMay 1, 2025May 1, 2025

OH. MY. SODOM. 😱 Angelripper, the thrash metal overlord, has decided that headbanging is for *peasants* and airports are, like,…

Atheist in Greensboro, NC (04/29/2025)
Videos

Atheist in Greensboro, NC (04/29/2025)

Chuck B. BallsyApril 30, 2025April 30, 2025

Progressive Death/Thrash Metal from Sarasota, Florida!

Witness the Metalpocalypse: Exodus and Death Angel’s Singer Butcher a Scorpions Tune in Anaheim πŸ€˜πŸ˜‚πŸŽΈπŸŽ€πŸ”₯
Breaking

Witness the Metalpocalypse: Exodus and Death Angel’s Singer Butcher a Scorpions Tune in Anaheim πŸ€˜πŸ˜‚πŸŽΈπŸŽ€πŸ”₯

Chord F. DiscordApril 28, 2025April 28, 2025

🀣OMG! Did anyone actually SEE this?! DEATH ANGEL’s resident screamer, Mark Osegueda, apparently thought it was a good idea to…

Kerry King🎸: “Tom Araya? Never heard of her πŸ€·β€β™‚οΈ.”
Breaking

Kerry King🎸: “Tom Araya? Never heard of her πŸ€·β€β™‚οΈ.”

Chord F. DiscordApril 26, 2025April 27, 2025

OMG! 😱 Kerry King spills the tea β˜• (or should we say tequila 🍹) on why Slayer’s still kicking (or…

Exodus Guitarist Dares to Have an Opinion on Metallica, Instigating Metalhead Civil War 🀘πŸ”₯πŸ˜‚.
Breaking

Exodus Guitarist Dares to Have an Opinion on Metallica, Instigating Metalhead Civil War 🀘πŸ”₯πŸ˜‚.

Chord F. DiscordApril 22, 2025April 22, 2025

Oh, for the love of Lars! πŸ™„ Another “expert” weighs in on the eternal METALLICA debate. Radioactive MikeZ, bless his…

🎀 Β«Mow or Die!Β» Anthrax Fans Demand Joey Belladonna’s Return to Horse Manure 🐴
🐴 «From Thrashing to Trashing?» Belladonna's Fans Want Him Back in the Stable!
Music News

🎀 Β«Mow or Die!Β» Anthrax Fans Demand Joey Belladonna’s Return to Horse Manure 🐴

Chord F. DiscordDecember 26, 2024December 26, 2024

In a shocking turn of events, fans of legendary thrash metal band Anthrax are clamoring for vocalist Joey Belladonna to…

Posts pagination

Previous 1 … 9 10

Latest posts

  • Oh Great, Another Bright Future Torched
  • BREAKING ORANGE ORACLE DROPS TRUTH BOMB ON TRUTH SOCIAL
  • ORANGE ORACLE SPEAKS NOW TRUTH REVEALED IN 2026 POST
  • BREAKING ORANGE ORACLE SPEAKS AGAIN
  • BREAKING TRUMP DROPS BOMBSHELL ON TRUTH SOCIAL MINDS REELING

Editorial
Ads cut
Advertise with us

Introducing Jackal.Today: The Advertising Empire You’ve Always Dreamed Of!

Finn October 8, 2024
Editorial
Editorial 2026 main
Breaking, Editorial

Jackal Today’s New Year Message: We Hope 2026 Finally Stops Plagiarizing Our Satire as Breaking News

Finn December 31, 2025
June 2026
S M T W T F S
 123456
78910111213
14151617181920
21222324252627
282930  
« May    
Copyright Β© 2026 Jackal.Today satirical news site | Spotlight News by Ascendoor | Powered by WordPress.
Manage Consent
To provide the best experiences, we use technologies like cookies to store and/or access device information. Consenting to these technologies will allow us to process data such as browsing behavior or unique IDs on this site. Not consenting or withdrawing consent, may adversely affect certain features and functions.
Functional Always active
The technical storage or access is strictly necessary for the legitimate purpose of enabling the use of a specific service explicitly requested by the subscriber or user, or for the sole purpose of carrying out the transmission of a communication over an electronic communications network.
Preferences
The technical storage or access is necessary for the legitimate purpose of storing preferences that are not requested by the subscriber or user.
Statistics
The technical storage or access that is used exclusively for statistical purposes. The technical storage or access that is used exclusively for anonymous statistical purposes. Without a subpoena, voluntary compliance on the part of your Internet Service Provider, or additional records from a third party, information stored or retrieved for this purpose alone cannot usually be used to identify you.
Marketing
The technical storage or access is required to create user profiles to send advertising, or to track the user on a website or across several websites for similar marketing purposes.
Manage options Manage services Manage {vendor_count} vendors Read more about these purposes
View preferences
{title} {title} {title}