Skip to content
https://jackal.today/

Jackal.Today satirical news site

Jackal.Today satirical news site

  • Home
  • Breaking
    • Live
    • Sport News
  • Elephant Reads CNN
  • The Orange Oracle
  • Videos
  • Movie News
  • Music News
    • Phil Anselmo Daily Grimaces
  • Games News
  • Jackal Research Division
  • Editorial
    • Advertise with us!
    • About Satirical Fake News Site Jackal.Today
    • Agreements and Personal data
    • Terms and Conditions
    • Opt-out preferences
    • Contact the editorial team
    • Authors

Tag: UK

OSBOURNES: Still Alive? (Barely) – Comic Con Midlands, July
Breaking

OSBOURNES: Still Alive? (Barely) – Comic Con Midlands, July

Chord F. DiscordJune 2, 2025June 2, 2025

Ozzy Osbourne, the bat-biting legend, and his equally legendary (debatable) family are gracing the Comic Con Midlands in Birmingham, UK,…

Netflix’s “Knives Out 3” Solved by Yours Truly (I’m Basically Benoit Blanc, Bow Down)
Breaking

Netflix’s “Knives Out 3” Solved by Yours Truly (I’m Basically Benoit Blanc, Bow Down)

FinnMay 29, 2025May 29, 2025

**OMG! 😱 Knives Out just dropped a teaser for Wake Up Dead Man, and like, I totally cracked the code.…

PATRIK JENSEN of THE HAUNTED Finally Figured Out How to Plug In His Guitar After 8 Whole Years
Breaking

PATRIK JENSEN of THE HAUNTED Finally Figured Out How to Plug In His Guitar After 8 Whole Years

Chord F. DiscordMay 24, 2025May 24, 2025

So, THE HAUNTED, those Swedish thrash metal *pioneers* (air quotes, obviously), are FINALLY gracing us with a new album, “Songs…

Todd Sucherman of STYX Reveals Shocking Truth: Drummers are Basically Just Flailing, Rhythmically-Challenged Garbage People
Breaking

Todd Sucherman of STYX Reveals Shocking Truth: Drummers are Basically Just Flailing, Rhythmically-Challenged Garbage People

Chord F. DiscordMay 24, 2025May 24, 2025

In a shocking exposé with The UK Drum Show Official Podcast (because who ELSE would interview him?), STYX drummer and…

Metallica Announces 2026 European Tour: Still Playing Those Same Songs, Huh
Breaking

Metallica Announces 2026 European Tour: Still Playing Those Same Songs, Huh

Chord F. DiscordMay 22, 2025May 22, 2025

OMG! 🙄 Metallica, those lovable dinosaurs 🦕, are STILL at it! They’ve announced their “M72” tour is crawling back to…

Sleep Token Accidentally Stumbles Onto Charts, Confuses Millions, Achieves “Success”
Breaking

Sleep Token Accidentally Stumbles Onto Charts, Confuses Millions, Achieves “Success”

Chord F. DiscordMay 18, 2025May 18, 2025

According to Billboard, SLEEP TOKEN’s fourth full-length studio effort, “Even In Arcadia”, has landed at position No. 1 on the…

Robert Plant STILL Touring? (With Someone Called Saving Grace??) Gothenburg, 2025 – Get Your Hearing Aids Ready!
Breaking

Robert Plant STILL Touring? (With Someone Called Saving Grace??) Gothenburg, 2025 – Get Your Hearing Aids Ready!

Chord F. DiscordMay 15, 2025May 15, 2025

LED ZEPPELIN‘s former screamer, Robert Plant, and his “band,” SAVING GRACE, graced the stage of Göteborgs Konserthus in Gothenburg, Sweden,…

Mencap’s Totally Rad (Maybe) Webinar About Stuff After You’re Gone
Live

Mencap’s Totally Rad (Maybe) Webinar About Stuff After You’re Gone

Chuck B. BallsyMay 14, 2025

OMG! 😱Mencap’s here to teach you how to control your loved one’s $$ after you’re gone! Planning for the Future…

Oh honey, Scissor Sisters are dusting off their old wigs and bedazzling their platform boots for a 20th anniversary cash grab of their debut album 💅💿💰!
Breaking

Oh honey, Scissor Sisters are dusting off their old wigs and bedazzling their platform boots for a 20th anniversary cash grab of their debut album 💅💿💰!

Chord F. DiscordMay 10, 2025May 10, 2025

OMG! 😱 Can you believe it? It’s been a whole TWO DECADES since the Scissor Sisters graced (or, depending on…

Tony Iommi Did a Ballet?! 🩰🤘 Guess the Prince of Darkness is now pirouetting into a midlife crisis! 😂
Breaking

Tony Iommi Did a Ballet?! 🩰🤘 Guess the Prince of Darkness is now pirouetting into a midlife crisis! 😂

Chord F. DiscordMay 10, 2025May 10, 2025

OMG! 😱 You guys will NOT believe this. After subjecting audiences to its sheer awesomeness in 2023, Birmingham Royal Ballet’s…

Posts pagination

Previous 1 … 20 21 22 Next

Latest posts

  • AC/DC in Charlotte, NC(07/12/2026)
  • ORANGE ORACLE UPDATE: Donald J Trump praises Lindsey Graham and country’s strength
  • ORANGE ORACLE UPDATE: Flags Lowered to Half Mast for Senator Lindsey Graham Until Saturday
  • Man Informs Wife He Can’t Mow The Lawn Today As He Is Busy Playing Lawn Mowing Simulator
  • ORANGE ORACLE UPDATE Donald posts on Truth Social July 12 2026

Editorial
Ads cut
Advertise with us

Introducing Jackal.Today: The Advertising Empire You’ve Always Dreamed Of!

Finn October 8, 2024
Editorial
Editorial 2026 main
Breaking, Editorial

Jackal Today’s New Year Message: We Hope 2026 Finally Stops Plagiarizing Our Satire as Breaking News

Finn December 31, 2025
July 2026
S M T W T F S
 1234
567891011
12131415161718
19202122232425
262728293031  
« Jun    
Copyright © 2026 Jackal.Today satirical news site | Spotlight News by Ascendoor | Powered by WordPress.
Manage Consent
To provide the best experiences, we use technologies like cookies to store and/or access device information. Consenting to these technologies will allow us to process data such as browsing behavior or unique IDs on this site. Not consenting or withdrawing consent, may adversely affect certain features and functions.
Functional Always active
The technical storage or access is strictly necessary for the legitimate purpose of enabling the use of a specific service explicitly requested by the subscriber or user, or for the sole purpose of carrying out the transmission of a communication over an electronic communications network.
Preferences
The technical storage or access is necessary for the legitimate purpose of storing preferences that are not requested by the subscriber or user.
Statistics
The technical storage or access that is used exclusively for statistical purposes. The technical storage or access that is used exclusively for anonymous statistical purposes. Without a subpoena, voluntary compliance on the part of your Internet Service Provider, or additional records from a third party, information stored or retrieved for this purpose alone cannot usually be used to identify you.
Marketing
The technical storage or access is required to create user profiles to send advertising, or to track the user on a website or across several websites for similar marketing purposes.
Manage options Manage services Manage {vendor_count} vendors Read more about these purposes
View preferences
{title} {title} {title}