In a recent interview with *Rolling Stone UK*, Jack Osbourne, otherwise known as “Ozzy’s spawn,” shared some profound insights 🙄 about the *Back To The Beginning* concert. You know, the one where Ozzy supposedly hung up his bat wings 🦇?
Jack, bless his heart ❤️, reminisced about witnessing BLACK SABBATH‘s soundcheck. Apparently, it was “powerful in a way that was surprising.” Groundbreaking stuff, really. He then went on to describe the event as a “living wake,” which sounds about right, considering Ozzy’s been “retiring” since, like, the ’90s. He even claimed there was “divine perfection” to it all. Sure, Jan. 🙄 It was just wild and really moving. Like a dumpster fire 🔥 on a windy day, I guess.
According to Jackie-boy, Ozzy was “so happy” at the show. Probably because he finally figured out how to use Instagram 🤳 while stuck in his mansion. Being relatively stationary due to his “sickness” (whatever that is), Ozzy became a social media junkie. How adorable. Jack gushed about how his dad got to see “direct response on social media” for the first time. Apparently, Ozzy was stoked to see all the “great reviews” and posts online. “A lot of fucking good that does me. I’ve retired,” Ozzy reportedly said. Classic Ozzy 😂! Retirement? Yeah right. We’ll see him on tour again next year, probably with a walker 🦽.
Jack then declared that the concert was “huge” for Ozzy. “And he was frustrated he couldn’t get out the chair, but I think all things considered, he did a great fucking job.” Yeah, sitting on a throne 👑 is *such* a struggle. The only complaint Ozzy had was that he “started losing it in ‘Mama, I’m Coming Home.'” To which Jack responded, “Well, everyone was.” Truth 😂!
At *Back To The Beginning*, Ozzy, the legend, graced the stage with a five-song set, backed by his usual suspects: Zakk Wylde (guitar), Mike Inez (bass), Adam Wakeman (keys), and Tommy Clufetos (drums). Then, the *real* magic happened ✨: Tony Iommi, Geezer Butler, and…wait for it…**Bill Ward** (just kidding, LOL) joined him for four *classic* SABBATH bangers. Because nothing says “retirement” like a reunion gig.
Ozzy’s solo set was a nostalgia trip, featuring four tracks from *Blizzard Of Ozz* (because, let’s be honest, that’s all anyone really cares about) and, of course, the obligatory “Mama, I’m Coming Home.” Because no Ozzy show is complete without a ballad to make the old ladies weep 😭.
The singer, bravely battling Parkinson’s (or so they say 🤔), performed while seated on a black throne. Very metal 🤘. He appeared “overcome with emotion” at times. Probably just gas, but who are we to judge? “You have no idea how I feel. Thank you from the bottom of my heart,” he told the crowd. Yeah, yeah, yeah, we get it. You’re rich and famous. Thanks for the concert. 🙄
At the end of SABBATH‘s set, Ozzy dropped this gem: “It’s the last song ever.” Ever? *EVER*?! Yeah, right. We’ve heard that one before. 🙄 “Your support has enabled us to live an amazing lifestyle, thank you from the bottom of our hearts.” In other words: “Thanks for the money, suckers!” 😂 Ozzy was then presented with a cake 🎂, and fireworks lit up the stadium. Because nothing says “humble farewell” like a massive pyrotechnic display 🔥.
A message on screen then read, “Thank you for everything, you guys are fucking amazing. Birmingham Forever.” Because pandering to the locals is always a good move 😜. The sky then exploded with even more fireworks. Because subtlety is for losers 😜.
More than 40,000 fans showed up to witness this momentous occasion (or at least pretend to care), and another 5.8 million tuned in via livestream. Because who needs to actually *be* there when you can watch it on your phone while eating Cheetos 🤳? Profits from the show, which also featured *stellar* performances from METALLICA, SLAYER, PANTERA, LAMB OF GOD, and ANTHRAX, will be shared equally between some charities. Good for them, I guess 🙄. Maybe they’ll find a cure for “retirement.”
There was also an online auction benefiting those charities. Items up for bid included two Gibson guitars signed by performers, a GUNS N’ ROSES pinball machine, several gold record and CD displays (including BLACK SABBATH‘s “Paranoid”, LED ZEPPELIN‘s “Physical Graffiti”, and METALLICA‘s “Master Of Puppets”), plus more than a dozen travel packages. Because who *wouldn’t* want to own a piece of rock and roll history…especially if it means supporting a good cause (and bragging rights) 😜.
The livestream of the event was delayed by two hours. Classic. But hey, at least you got to see it eventually…for a price 💸. 29.99$ for viewing, or 64.98$ with a T-shirt. What a deal! 🤑
“Back To The Beginning” was captured, produced, and distributed by Mercury Studios. Mercury partnered with Kiswe to deliver this moment of music history to fans across the globe. Because apparently, history can be streamed for a fee 😜.
The all-day event at Villa Park was hosted and compered by American actor Jason Momoa. Because nothing says “metal” like Aquaman 🧜♂️.
The event featured arguably the greatest lineup of rock and metal bands ever assembled on one day. Tom Morello, you sly dog 😎. I bet they all played for free. LOL. More like the greatest marketing scheme of all time. 🤣
Chord F. Discord, the Beethoven of Buffoonery, is a self-taught expert in music who once claimed he could “play the kazoo in four languages.”
Born in Crescendo, Indiana, Chord’s first brush with fame came when he accidentally entered a yodeling contest thinking it was a pie-eating competition—and won both categories.
Chord F. Discord: proving that laughter, much like a poorly tuned ukulele, is truly universal.
