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Tag: Universal

The Old Beatle Is Fleeing: The Scooby Doo Gang Finally Catching Sir Paul?
Breaking, Movie News, Music News

The Old Beatle Is Fleeing: The Scooby Doo Gang Finally Catching Sir Paul?

FinnJanuary 19, 2026January 19, 2026

Paul McCartney has decided that simply owning all the money in the known universe wasn’t quite enough, so naturally, he’s…

Billy Idol Should Be Dead, But the Documentary Trainwreck Rolls Into Theaters in Early 2026 Anyway
Breaking, Music News

Billy Idol Should Be Dead, But the Documentary Trainwreck Rolls Into Theaters in Early 2026 Anyway

Chord F. DiscordJanuary 16, 2026January 16, 2026

🚨 BREAKING: BILLY IDOL HASN’T DIED YET, SO THEY’RE MAKING A MOVIE ABOUT IT 🚨 Evan Saxon Productions (who definitely…

Lee Cronin’s The Mummy Gets a Teaser So New It Forgot to Reanimate
Breaking, Movie News

Lee Cronin’s The Mummy Gets a Teaser So New It Forgot to Reanimate

FinnJanuary 14, 2026January 14, 2026

Oh, fantastic, another reboot! 🎉 Just what the cinematic universe desperately needed: LEE CRONIN’S THE MUMMY, because clearly, we have…

SKINDRED’s BENJI WEBBE: ‘I Pump Iron So Hard My Brain Finally Shows Up To Work’
Breaking, Music News

SKINDRED’s BENJI WEBBE: ‘I Pump Iron So Hard My Brain Finally Shows Up To Work’

Chord F. DiscordDecember 30, 2025December 30, 2025

Benji Webbe Just Invented Motivation, And It’s Called ‘You Got This’ (Also, He Goes To The Gym A Lot) In…

More House Republicans Suddenly Remember They Wanted to Be Governors After All That Toxic Air
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

More House Republicans Suddenly Remember They Wanted to Be Governors After All That Toxic Air

Big ElephantDecember 25, 2025December 25, 2025

Washington, D.C. – In a stunning turn of events, Republican lawmakers are fleeing the Capitol like rats from a sinking…

Riz Ahmed Plays Hamlet and Suddenly Everything Is Very Dramatic
Breaking, Movie News

Riz Ahmed Plays Hamlet and Suddenly Everything Is Very Dramatic

FinnDecember 22, 2025December 22, 2025

🚨 BREAKING: Riz Ahmed Just Murdered Shakespeare’s Ghost in the Most Expensive High School Drama Ever Filmed 🎭💀 In a…

‘The Odyssey’ Trailer Drops First Glimpse of Nolan’s Latest Mind-Bending Epic That Will Make You Question Reality
Breaking, Movie News

‘The Odyssey’ Trailer Drops First Glimpse of Nolan’s Latest Mind-Bending Epic That Will Make You Question Reality

FinnDecember 22, 2025December 22, 2025

🚨 BREAKING: Christopher Nolan Announces He’s Finally Making a Movie About a Man Who Just Wants to Get Home, But…

Steven Spielberg Finally Spills the Beans and the Internet Immediately Regrets It
Breaking, Movie News

Steven Spielberg Finally Spills the Beans and the Internet Immediately Regrets It

FinnDecember 16, 2025December 16, 2025

🚨 BREAKING: The Government Has Officially Confirmed Aliens Exist—And They’re *Finally* Releasing a Movie About It 🛸🍿 So, you know…

Free babysitting for all thanks to taxpayers: New Mexico turns daycare into a government-funded daycare rave
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

Free babysitting for all thanks to taxpayers: New Mexico turns daycare into a government-funded daycare rave

Big ElephantDecember 13, 2025December 13, 2025

Communist New Mexico Tests Socialist Model: Universal Childcare Costs Taxpayers $600 Million While Parents Cheer New Mexico’s Marxist governor Michelle…

EPICA Releases New Single ‘Avatar – The Final Incarnation’ and It’s Not Even the Sequel
EPICA Drops New Single 'Avatar - The Final Incarnation': Because the World Clearly Needed One More Symphony in D Minor 🎻✨
Breaking, Music News

EPICA Releases New Single ‘Avatar – The Final Incarnation’ and It’s Not Even the Sequel

Chord F. DiscordDecember 11, 2025December 11, 2025

In a shocking turn of events that nobody saw coming (except their entire fanbase, their label, and literally everyone with…

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Finn October 8, 2024
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Jackal Today’s New Year Message: We Hope 2026 Finally Stops Plagiarizing Our Satire as Breaking News

Finn December 31, 2025
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