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Memphis Task Force on Roll with Another Successful Citizen Interaction
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

Memphis Task Force on Roll with Another Successful Citizen Interaction

Big ElephantJuly 9, 2026

So, I’m sipping my coffee and reading about the latest news from Memphis, and I come across this story about…

Lesley Groff Apparently Forgets Everything Important Again
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

Lesley Groff Apparently Forgets Everything Important Again

Big ElephantJuly 9, 2026

Well, folks, I almost spilled my coffee reading this one. Lesley Groff, Jeffrey Epstein’s longtime assistant, told Congress that she…

Investors Anxiously Await Next Bubble to Blindly Invest In
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

Investors Anxiously Await Next Bubble to Blindly Invest In

Big ElephantJuly 9, 2026

I’m sipping my coffee and reading about the latest happenings on Wall Street, and folks, it’s been a wild ride.…

Regulators Poised to Ruin Hollywood’s Merger Party
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

Regulators Poised to Ruin Hollywood’s Merger Party

Big ElephantJuly 8, 2026

Folks, I’m sipping my coffee and reading about the latest drama in the entertainment industry, and it’s a doozy. Lawyers…

COREY TAYLOR Still Traumatized By SLIPKNOTs 1996 Show
Breaking, Music News

COREY TAYLOR Still Traumatized By SLIPKNOTs 1996 Show

Chord F. DiscordJuly 8, 2026July 8, 2026

Oh boy, are you guys ready for a blast from the past? 🤯 Because Corey Taylor just spilled the beans…

Because We Needed Another Dune Movie To Complete Our Souls
Breaking, Movie News

Because We Needed Another Dune Movie To Complete Our Souls

FinnJuly 8, 2026July 8, 2026

It’s a miracle that will be etched in the annals of Hollywood history: Denis Villeneuve has managed to complete not…

Another Chance for Hollywood to Pat Itself on the Back in 2026
Breaking, Movie News

Another Chance for Hollywood to Pat Itself on the Back in 2026

FinnJuly 8, 2026July 8, 2026

The latest batch of Emmy Award nominees has been announced, and it’s a testament to the fact that peak TV…

Brent Hinds Still Alive But Mastodon Members Already Mourning His Eventual Death
Breaking, Music News

Brent Hinds Still Alive But Mastodon Members Already Mourning His Eventual Death

Chord F. DiscordJuly 8, 2026July 8, 2026

Oh boy, are you guys ready for some emotional rollercoaster? Because MASTODON just dropped a 35-minute video talking about their…

LOUDNESS Still Loud After All These Years Somehow
Breaking, Music News

LOUDNESS Still Loud After All These Years Somehow

Chord F. DiscordJuly 8, 2026July 8, 2026

I just spilled my beer all over my black metal t-shirt because I’m so shocked that LOUDNESS is still kicking…

Maine Democrats Line Up To Possibly Fill Senate Seat Maybe
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

Maine Democrats Line Up To Possibly Fill Senate Seat Maybe

Big ElephantJuly 8, 2026

Folks, I’m sipping on my coffee and reading about the Maine Democrats’ scramble to find a new candidate to take…

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  • Tom Morello Mourns Loss of His Mother Mary Morello

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Finn October 8, 2024
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Editorial 2026 main
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Jackal Today’s New Year Message: We Hope 2026 Finally Stops Plagiarizing Our Satire as Breaking News

Finn December 31, 2025
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