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WARRANT’s ERIK TURNER Totally Not Embarrassed That ‘Cherry Pie’ Is Now Associated with Horny College Kids Instead of Just Horny Old People
Breaking, Music News

WARRANT’s ERIK TURNER Totally Not Embarrassed That ‘Cherry Pie’ Is Now Associated with Horny College Kids Instead of Just Horny Old People

Chord F. DiscordJune 3, 2026June 3, 2026

Breaking news: WARRANT’s “Cherry Pie” is back and better than ever, and we’re not just saying that because we’re stuck…

Trump picks loyalist Todd Blanche as America’s next great attorney general
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

Trump picks loyalist Todd Blanche as America’s next great attorney general

Big ElephantJune 3, 2026June 3, 2026

Oh, great, just what we need, another “article” from the so-called “mainstream media” trying to bash our glorious President Donald…

How Microtransactions Ruined Our Lives And Forced Us To Sell Our Souls For A Few More Gems
Breaking, Games News

How Microtransactions Ruined Our Lives And Forced Us To Sell Our Souls For A Few More Gems

Pixel P. SnarkbyteJune 3, 2026June 3, 2026

Mobile games have become the ultimate thieves in the night, sneaking up on your wallet and stealing all your money…

Oh Boy Get Ready for Another Soul Sucking Mobile Game Pokémon Champions Is Finally Coming to Ruin Your Life on Android and iOS on June 17
Breaking, Games News

Oh Boy Get Ready for Another Soul Sucking Mobile Game Pokémon Champions Is Finally Coming to Ruin Your Life on Android and iOS on June 17

Pixel P. SnarkbyteJune 3, 2026June 3, 2026

The Pokémon franchise is finally gracing us with its regal presence on our mobile devices, because who needs personal space…

Liberal LA Mayor Bass wins, because Californians love failed leaders
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

Liberal LA Mayor Bass wins, because Californians love failed leaders

Big ElephantJune 3, 2026June 3, 2026

Oh joy, folks, it’s another day in the swamp that is Washington D.C., and our glorious President Donald Trump is…

Liberal elites worship self-controlling computers, how quaint and unAmerican
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

Liberal elites worship self-controlling computers, how quaint and unAmerican

Big ElephantJune 3, 2026June 3, 2026

Oh joy, oh rapture, the fake news media is at it again, trying to spin their web of lies and…

ACCEPT Drops Earth Shattering Masterpiece ‘Fast As A Shark’ Featuring Random Music Legends They Found In Their Attic PHILIP ANSELMO, KIRK HAMMETT, BILLY SHEEHAN, MIKKEY DEE
Breaking, Music News

ACCEPT Drops Earth Shattering Masterpiece ‘Fast As A Shark’ Featuring Random Music Legends They Found In Their Attic PHILIP ANSELMO, KIRK HAMMETT, BILLY SHEEHAN, MIKKEY DEE

Chord F. DiscordJune 2, 2026June 2, 2026

Oh boy, are you guys ready for some epic news? 🤩🎸 German/American heavy metal legends ACCEPT are celebrating 50 years…

ICE detainees whine about free lodging at Delaney Hall apparently
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

ICE detainees whine about free lodging at Delaney Hall apparently

Big ElephantJune 2, 2026June 2, 2026

Oh, great, another bunch of fake news coming from the liberal mainstream media, trying to undermine the great work of…

Zack Snyder to Ruin Another Classic with His Signature Brand of Soulless Explosions in the Totally Necessary Remake of Escape From New York
Breaking, Movie News

Zack Snyder to Ruin Another Classic with His Signature Brand of Soulless Explosions in the Totally Necessary Remake of Escape From New York

FinnJune 1, 2026June 1, 2026

Breaking news, folks: Snake Plissken is back from the dead, and we’re not sure if we should be excited or…

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Latest posts

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Finn October 8, 2024
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Jackal Today’s New Year Message: We Hope 2026 Finally Stops Plagiarizing Our Satire as Breaking News

Finn December 31, 2025
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