Skip to content
https://jackal.today/

Jackal.Today satirical news site

Jackal.Today satirical news site

  • Home
  • Breaking
    • Live
    • Sport News
  • Spin the fake!
  • Elephant Reads CNN
  • The Orange Oracle
  • Videos
  • Movie News
  • Music News
    • Phil Anselmo Daily Grimaces
  • Games News
  • Jackal Research Division
  • Editorial
    • Advertise with us!
    • About Satirical Fake News Site Jackal.Today
    • Agreements and Personal data
    • Terms and Conditions
    • Opt-out preferences
    • Contact the editorial team
    • Authors

Tag: Weapons

Sunday’s Massacre Proved Australia’s Gun Control Was Just a Hop Skip and a Jump Away from Total Anarchy
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

Sunday’s Massacre Proved Australia’s Gun Control Was Just a Hop Skip and a Jump Away from Total Anarchy

Big ElephantDecember 15, 2025December 15, 2025

Australia’s Gun Control Myth Shattered: Leftist Agenda Backfires Again as Mass Shooting Strikes Sydney In a shocking turn of events…

John Carpenter’s Toxic Commando (PC) Preview—When Your Graphics Card Cries for Help
Breaking, Games News

John Carpenter’s Toxic Commando (PC) Preview—When Your Graphics Card Cries for Help

Pixel P. SnarkbyteDecember 12, 2025December 12, 2025

Imagine a world where the only thing standing between you and total existential dread is a chainsaw, a chainsaw-wielding mutant,…

IMDb Desperately Tries to Predict 2025’s ‘Popular’ Films Because Apparently We Can’t Wait to Be Disappointed
Breaking, Movie News

IMDb Desperately Tries to Predict 2025’s ‘Popular’ Films Because Apparently We Can’t Wait to Be Disappointed

FinnDecember 9, 2025December 9, 2025

BREAKING: Humans Still Obsessed With Superheroes, IMDb Reports (Shocking Absolutely No One) 😱 Oh, joy! The fine folks at IMDb—who…

SOL Shogunate Unveiled At The PC Gaming Show: Prepare To Be Mildly Interested
Breaking, Games News

SOL Shogunate Unveiled At The PC Gaming Show: Prepare To Be Mildly Interested

Pixel P. SnarkbyteDecember 7, 2025December 7, 2025

Breaking News: Some Random Studio Thinks They Can Make a Samurai Game in Space 😂. Chaos Manufacturing (never heard of…

Warframe: The Old Peace Update – Prepare for Disappointment on December 10th
Breaking, Games News

Warframe: The Old Peace Update – Prepare for Disappointment on December 10th

Pixel P. SnarkbyteNovember 28, 2025November 28, 2025

OMG! 😱 Warframe is FINALLY giving us The Old Peace on December 10th! 🗓️ Get ready to have your mind…

Wildgate’s “Massive” Update: New Game Modes, a Character (Maybe), and More (Probably Not)
Breaking, Games News

Wildgate’s “Massive” Update: New Game Modes, a Character (Maybe), and More (Probably Not)

Pixel P. SnarkbyteNovember 13, 2025November 13, 2025

Okay, so Wildgate, the game that promised to be the next big thing but is probably just gonna be another…

Fortnite’s Simpsons Collab: Prepare for Yellow Mayhem and Questionable Content
Breaking, Games News

Fortnite’s Simpsons Collab: Prepare for Yellow Mayhem and Questionable Content

Pixel P. SnarkbyteNovember 3, 2025November 3, 2025

Well, well, well, look who finally crawled out of their basements 🙄! Epic Games, in their infinite wisdom (or lack…

Spartacus: House of Ashur – Oh Great, Another Trailer We Totally Asked For
Breaking, Movie News

Spartacus: House of Ashur – Oh Great, Another Trailer We Totally Asked For

FinnNovember 3, 2025November 3, 2025

STARZ, bless their cotton socks, 🙄 has decided to unleash upon us Spartacus: House of Ashur, because apparently, we haven’t…

OMG! Nuclear Weapons are, like, SOOOO Last Week, CNN
Elephant Reads CNN

OMG! Nuclear Weapons are, like, SOOOO Last Week, CNN

Big ElephantNovember 1, 2025November 1, 2025

Well, folks, buckle up because the liberal media is at it again, trying to scare you with their doom-and-gloom nuclear…

A.I. and Socialism: A Match Made in Dystopia
Elephant Reads CNN

A.I. and Socialism: A Match Made in Dystopia

Big ElephantNovember 1, 2025November 1, 2025

Ah, CNN, still peddling their leftist fantasies in 2025, even with President Trump leading America to greatness for a second…

Posts pagination

Previous 1 … 11 12 13 … 16 Next

Latest posts

  • US Wins Bigly In Alien Terrorist Court Deportation Case Somehow
  • ORANGE ORACLE UPDATE: Donald Trump shares thoughts on September 11, 2026
  • ORANGE ORACLE UPDATE: Trump Promises $5000 Dividend to All US Adults Despite Criticism
  • ORANGE ORACLE UPDATE Donald Trump posts on Truth Social September 11 2026
  • ORANGE ORACLE UPDATE: Vance and Donald Trump fire up crowd in Dallas for midterms

Editorial
Ads cut
Advertise with us

Introducing Jackal.Today: The Advertising Empire You’ve Always Dreamed Of!

Finn October 8, 2024
Editorial
Editorial 2026 main
Breaking, Editorial

Jackal Today’s New Year Message: We Hope 2026 Finally Stops Plagiarizing Our Satire as Breaking News

Finn December 31, 2025
September 2026
S M T W T F S
 12345
6789101112
13141516171819
20212223242526
27282930  
« Aug    
Copyright © 2026 Jackal.Today satirical news site | Spotlight News by Ascendoor | Powered by WordPress.