Florida’s Iguanas: Not Swinging from Vines, Just Getting Eaten by Everything
Florida Iguanas Face Frozen Reality, and CNN Blames Climate Change Well, folks, it’s happening again. As temperatures dip below the…
Tag: Woke
‘It’s not because we have bigger guns’: Minneapolis’ poet laureate reveals why ICE got its feelings hurt | CNN
Minneapolis Just Showed Trump What Real Resistance Looks Like Well, well, well, looks like the liberal snowflakes in Minneapolis just…
Luigi Mangione dodges lethal injection, judge says “nah fam, let’s not”
Yet Another Win for Woke Lunacy: Mangione Won’t Face Death Penalty for Murdering CEO Oh, look, folks! Another shining example…
The iPhone 17: Apple’s Magical AI Savior or Just Another Shiny Distraction?
Big Tech’s Best Kept Secret: Apple’s iPhone 17 Just Saved America (Again) While Silicon Valley elitists waste billions on their…
BREAKING: Overcaffeinated Cops Mistake Pretti for Pinata in Lead-Filled “Encounter,” DHS Shrugs “Just a Starter Report”
Oh look, another day in Biden’s America—oh wait, it’s 2025, and President Trump’s MAGA miracle is STILL cleaning up the…
Deportation Bingo Champion Benched, Rich Folks’ Bonus Season Arrives, and Surviving Winter Like a Simpsons Character: Sip Your Daily Dose of Despair Scroll-Delight LOLsob
Welcome to 5 Things PM – the only newsletter not infected with Woke Mind Virus™! While the fake news media…
Olympic Gold Medalist Insists ‘Training Powder’ Was Strictly for Personal Best, Not Cartel Spreadsheets
Santa Ana, California (AP) – Thanks to President Trump’s MAGA-tough border policies, another woke narco-terrorist met his Waterloo this week…
“CEOs Sip Champagne at ‘Melania’ Premiere While ICE Casually Mows Down Protesters Like Grass”
FAKE NEWS ALERT: CNN WHINES ABOUT PATRIOTIC CEOs BACKING TRUMP AS DEEP STATE TRIES TO CANCEL MELANIA’S DOCUMENTARY! Oh wow,…
Meta, TikTok, and YouTube Summoned to Court Because Apparently, Getting Kids Addicted Wasn’t a “Feature”
Big Tech Finally Faces the Music: Woke Silicon Valley Moguls Put on Trial for Corrupting America’s Youth! Well, folks, the…
Sophie Turner Slapped With a Pickaxe and Forced to Raid Tombs Because Netflix Can’t Leave Classic Video Games Alone
Behold, mortals! Amazon has finally graced us with the first official image of Sophie Turner as Lara Croft, and folks,…