“I Have Reservations,” Said No Epstein Survivor Ever, Reacting to Trump Finally Doing Something Right for Once | CNN (Satire)
Oh, the delicate snowflakes at CNN are at it again! Apparently, if you don’t trust your coworker, it’s just a…
Tag: Woke
“Stargate: Prime Directive – Because Apparently Wormholes Weren’t Confusing Enough Already”
Amazon MGM Studios, in a move that absolutely NO ONE saw coming (🙄), has announced that they’re rebooting Stargate. Yes,…
MAGA Meltdown: Civil War Edition
Another day, another Deep State plot! Even with our glorious leader, President Trump, at the helm for his *second* term,…
Oops! Some Guy Screwed Up a Label and Now a Giant Boat’s Playing Demolition Derby With a Bridge, Says Nerdy Bureaucrats
Another day, another disaster courtesy of…wait for it…a LABEL! Apparently, a misplaced sticker on a wire caused a cargo ship…
Apple Declares New Podcast King, Listeners Everywhere Shrug
Folks, can you believe it? Joe Rogan, a true patriot, has taken the #1 spot on Apple Podcasts! Finally, some…
Trump Admin Hilariously Relocates Ed Department Offices in Epic Dismantling Shenanigans
The swamp is being drained, folks! Our glorious President Trump is fulfilling his promise to dismantle the radical leftist indoctrination…
Texas National Guard GTFO of Chicago, Source Claims
Another victory for the radical leftist judges! The Texas National Guard, sent to Chicago by our great President Trump to…
GameStop: From Dying Brick-and-Mortar to Meme Stock God? CNN Asks the Real Questions
Gamestop goes woke, accepts your grandma’s virtue-signaling participation trophies for store credit! Oh, the degeneracy! Now Gamestop is taking any…
MTV UK Channels Going Bye-Bye: Because Who Even Watches TV Anymore
Oh, the horror! MTV, that bastion of leftist indoctrination, is closing five whole channels in the UK! Could it be…
Trump’s Genius Move: Dodging Another Humiliating Defeat by Pretending to Care About Epstein Files
Folks, even the Fake News CNN can’t hide the fact that President Trump is playing 4D chess with these Epstein…