Skip to content
https://jackal.today/

Jackal.Today satirical news site

Jackal.Today satirical news site

  • Home
  • Breaking
    • Live
    • Sport News
  • Spin the fake!
  • Elephant Reads CNN
  • The Orange Oracle
  • Videos
  • Movie News
  • Music News
    • Phil Anselmo Daily Grimaces
  • Games News
  • Jackal Research Division
  • Editorial
    • Advertise with us!
    • About Satirical Fake News Site Jackal.Today
    • Agreements and Personal data
    • Terms and Conditions
    • Opt-out preferences
    • Contact the editorial team
    • Authors

Tag: Woke

Texas National Guard GTFO of Chicago, Source Claims
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

Texas National Guard GTFO of Chicago, Source Claims

Big ElephantNovember 18, 2025November 18, 2025

Another victory for the radical leftist judges! The Texas National Guard, sent to Chicago by our great President Trump to…

GameStop: From Dying Brick-and-Mortar to Meme Stock God? CNN Asks the Real Questions
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

GameStop: From Dying Brick-and-Mortar to Meme Stock God? CNN Asks the Real Questions

Big ElephantNovember 18, 2025November 18, 2025

Gamestop goes woke, accepts your grandma’s virtue-signaling participation trophies for store credit! Oh, the degeneracy! Now Gamestop is taking any…

MTV UK Channels Going Bye-Bye: Because Who Even Watches TV Anymore
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

MTV UK Channels Going Bye-Bye: Because Who Even Watches TV Anymore

Big ElephantNovember 18, 2025November 18, 2025

Oh, the horror! MTV, that bastion of leftist indoctrination, is closing five whole channels in the UK! Could it be…

Trump’s Genius Move: Dodging Another Humiliating Defeat by Pretending to Care About Epstein Files
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

Trump’s Genius Move: Dodging Another Humiliating Defeat by Pretending to Care About Epstein Files

Big ElephantNovember 18, 2025November 18, 2025

Folks, even the Fake News CNN can’t hide the fact that President Trump is playing 4D chess with these Epstein…

Baltimore Bridge: From Key to K.O-ed, Repairs Now Cost More Than Your Entire Life Savings and Will Be Done by the Time Your Grandkids Are Old Enough to Drive
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

Baltimore Bridge: From Key to K.O-ed, Repairs Now Cost More Than Your Entire Life Savings and Will Be Done by the Time Your Grandkids Are Old Enough to Drive

Big ElephantNovember 18, 2025November 18, 2025

Baltimore Bridge Boondoggle: Is This a Bridge to Nowhere or a Drain on Taxpayers? It seems the liberal elite in…

Pilot Gets Grounded: The Ultimate “How Not to Fly” Guide
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

Pilot Gets Grounded: The Ultimate “How Not to Fly” Guide

Big ElephantNovember 17, 2025November 17, 2025

Another day, another win for the woke mob! This time, a pilot hopped up on psychedelic mushrooms tried to shut…

FAA Freaks Out, Ends Airport Diet Plan After Tantrum Throws Government in Timeout, Sources Claim
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

FAA Freaks Out, Ends Airport Diet Plan After Tantrum Throws Government in Timeout, Sources Claim

Big ElephantNovember 17, 2025November 17, 2025

Another day, another victory for President Trump! The FAA flight reduction hoax, clearly a Deep State attempt to make our…

Breaking: Reverend Jesse Jackson Plugged into Wall Socket, Family Claims He’s “Charging”
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

Breaking: Reverend Jesse Jackson Plugged into Wall Socket, Family Claims He’s “Charging”

Big ElephantNovember 16, 2025November 16, 2025

Looks like the race-baiting Reverend Jesse Jackson is finally facing the music! They say he’s on life support, probably because…

Couple Expected to Sleep Under Bridges, Instead, Annoyingly Finds Support and Now America’s Reputation is Ruined
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

Couple Expected to Sleep Under Bridges, Instead, Annoyingly Finds Support and Now America’s Reputation is Ruined

Big ElephantNovember 16, 2025November 16, 2025

Oh, CNN, always with the heartwarming tales of… *checks notes* …a couple of virtue-signaling vagrants expecting handouts. “Walking Across America”?…

Preservationists sue over tiny-handed tyrant’s tacky Trump tower travesty | CNN Politics
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

Preservationists sue over tiny-handed tyrant’s tacky Trump tower travesty | CNN Politics

Big ElephantNovember 16, 2025November 16, 2025

Another day, another ridiculous lawsuit from the radical Left! Now the woke preservationists are crying because President Trump wants to…

Posts pagination

Previous 1 … 28 29 30 … 95 Next

Latest posts

  • Boston’s Debut Album Gets Reissue With Rare Demos
  • Miley Cyrus Honors Godmother Dolly Parton In Heartfelt Tribute
  • Harry Styles Sells Out MSG Grab Last Minute Tix Now
  • ORANGE ORACLE UPDATE: DOJ Civil Rights Division targets election integrity issues
  • Lindsay Clancy Trial Finally Wraps Up Testimony

Editorial
Ads cut
Advertise with us

Introducing Jackal.Today: The Advertising Empire You’ve Always Dreamed Of!

Finn October 8, 2024
Editorial
Editorial 2026 main
Breaking, Editorial

Jackal Today’s New Year Message: We Hope 2026 Finally Stops Plagiarizing Our Satire as Breaking News

Finn December 31, 2025
August 2026
S M T W T F S
 1
2345678
9101112131415
16171819202122
23242526272829
3031  
« Jul    
Copyright © 2026 Jackal.Today satirical news site | Spotlight News by Ascendoor | Powered by WordPress.