Capcom Finally Remembers These Resident Evil Games Exist
🚨BREAKING: Capcom Is Apparently Rebooting Your Childhood Trauma—Again—With Resident Evil Code Veronica & Zero Remakes!🎉 😱 In a shocking twist…
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Uncle Sam Finally Identifies the Guys Who Signed Up for Adventure but Got Ambushed in Syria Instead
The two US Army soldiers killed in Syria on Saturday were Sgt. Edgar Brian Torres Tovar, 25, of Des Moines,…
SLAYER Band Biography By D.X. Ferris Finally Deafens Your Ears As An Audiobook
Move over, history books and science textbooks—there’s a new educational powerhouse in town, and it’s screaming at you in double-blast-beat…
Director of Unauthorized Wayne Static Biopic Fires Back at Estate After They Said “No”
🚨 BREAKING: The Ghosts of Wayne Static and Tera Wray Are About to Star in a Documentary Drama So Juicy…
John Carpenter’s Toxic Commando (PC) Preview—When Your Graphics Card Cries for Help
Imagine a world where the only thing standing between you and total existential dread is a chainsaw, a chainsaw-wielding mutant,…
Disney and OpenAI Just Made A Deal To Make Sora Into The Next Mickey Mouse
In a move that has sent shockwaves through the entertainment industry (and probably a few existential crises through the animatronic…
Families of Static-X’s Wayne Static and Wife Tera Wray ‘Vehemently Protest’ Unauthorized Documentary Shenanigans
In a shocking turn of events that absolutely nobody saw coming (except, you know, everyone with internet access), the families…
All the ‘Avengers: Doomsday’ Clues in ‘Endgame’ (We’re All Doomed)
🚨 BREAKING: Avengers: Doomsday is literally just Endgame: The Sequel – Because Apparently, We All Have Amnesia 🚨 😂 So,…
Bondi Accuses Judges of Running a Mean Girls Clique Against Lindsey Halligan
In today’s episode of “The Bench Strikes Back,” a gaggle of Alexandria federal judges decided they’re not just referees —…
IMDb Desperately Tries to Predict 2025’s ‘Popular’ Films Because Apparently We Can’t Wait to Be Disappointed
BREAKING: Humans Still Obsessed With Superheroes, IMDb Reports (Shocking Absolutely No One) 😱 Oh, joy! The fine folks at IMDb—who…