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Day: February 17, 2026

“Is Trump Finally Getting Bored of Diplomatically Pretending He Cares About Iran? The Saga Continues!”
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

“Is Trump Finally Getting Bored of Diplomatically Pretending He Cares About Iran? The Saga Continues!”

Big ElephantFebruary 17, 2026February 17, 2026

President Trump Strong-Arms Iran in High-Stakes Nuclear Showdown The world is watching as President Donald J. Trump stands firm against…

Avalanche Chaos: Search Crews Play Hide-and-Seek with Ski-Bound Ninjas in California Mountains
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

Avalanche Chaos: Search Crews Play Hide-and-Seek with Ski-Bound Ninjas in California Mountains

Big ElephantFebruary 17, 2026February 17, 2026

Liberal Snowflakes Get Buried in California Avalanche—Nature’s Way of Saying “Make America Great Again” California’s latest snowstorm has buried more…

Chris Hemsworth Teases “More Thor” in MCU, Fans Wonder if He’s Just Thor-ing Around
Thor Won't Hang Up His Hammer Just Yet, Because Apparently He's the MCU's Golden Goose
Breaking, Movie News

Chris Hemsworth Teases “More Thor” in MCU, Fans Wonder if He’s Just Thor-ing Around

FinnFebruary 17, 2026February 17, 2026

Chris Hemsworth has officially signed his soul away to Marvel for “a couple more” appearances as Thor, because why retire…

Top 5 Most Underrated Nu Metal Bands of the 2000s
Videos

Top 5 Most Underrated Nu Metal Bands of the 2000s

Chuck B. BallsyFebruary 17, 2026

These bands had the riffs, the anger, and the chaos… but no radio love, no MTV rotation, and zero industry…

Babylon Bee

Japan Agrees To Trade Deal After Trump Catches Five Shrimp In A Row In His Mouth During Lunch

FinnFebruary 17, 2026

    BETHESDA, MD — A significant victory was notched by the current administration today, as Japan agreed to a trade…

Gallup To End Presidential Approval Polling After Almost 90 Years
The Onion

Gallup To End Presidential Approval Polling After Almost 90 Years

FinnFebruary 17, 2026

       Gallup will stop tracking presidential job approval ratings after 88 years, saying the decision reflects “an evolution in how…

Babylon Bee

Group Chat Ruined By Android User

FinnFebruary 17, 2026

    U.S. — A group chat amongst friends was reportedly derailed and later abandoned altogether after being ruined by the…

Trump Asks When He Gets To Kill Olympians Who Lost
The Onion

Trump Asks When He Gets To Kill Olympians Who Lost

FinnFebruary 17, 2026

       WASHINGTON—Declaring that athletes who had disgraced their country with a poor performance needed to be dealt with in the…

Babylon Bee

Wife Asks For Husband’s Opinion So She Can Choose The Opposite Of Whatever He Says

FinnFebruary 17, 2026

    STOCKTON, CA — According to sources, local wife Gillian Franks went to her husband to ask for his opinion…

Babylon Bee

Trump Replaces Pam Bondi With Broom In Blonde Wig

FinnFebruary 17, 2026

    WASHINGTON, D.C. — In a long-rumored shake-up at a high-level position in his administration, President Donald Trump announced that…

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Breaking, Editorial

Jackal Today’s New Year Message: We Hope 2026 Finally Stops Plagiarizing Our Satire as Breaking News

Finn December 31, 2025
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