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Month: February 2026

Microsoft throws $50 billion at AI inequality while secretly hoping robots will pay taxes and buy yachts
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

Microsoft throws $50 billion at AI inequality while secretly hoping robots will pay taxes and buy yachts

Big ElephantFebruary 18, 2026February 18, 2026

Microsoft Announces $50 Billion Global AI Giveaway — or Just Another Liberal Guilt Trip? In a move that’s either shockingly…

“Pharmacy Royalty Finally Deciding to Let Everyone In? What a Novel Concept!”
Events

“Pharmacy Royalty Finally Deciding to Let Everyone In? What a Novel Concept!”

Chuck B. BallsyFebruary 18, 2026

Royal College of Pharmacy Coming in 2026: Because UK Pharmacy Clearly Needed Another Meeting In a shocking twist that surprised…

Coworker Laid Off Solely For Performance-Related Reasons Warns AI Coming For Everyone
The Onion

Coworker Laid Off Solely For Performance-Related Reasons Warns AI Coming For Everyone

FinnFebruary 18, 2026

       SIOUX CITY, IA—Making the dire prediction shortly after being terminated for substandard work, marketing analyst Ryan Bronson, who was…

Events

“How to Create an Evacuation Plan: Because Who Doesn’t Love a Good Disaster? 🤔”

Chuck B. BallsyFebruary 18, 2026

Oh nee, nog eens een webinar over brandveiligheid…🔥 Want “even snel” een evacuatieplan maken is natuurlijk een kinderspel, totdat iedereen…

Lunchwebinar: Hoe Je Collega’s Vermijd Zoals De Pest… Of Gewoon Een Paar Grenzen
Events

Lunchwebinar: Hoe Je Collega’s Vermijd Zoals De Pest… Of Gewoon Een Paar Grenzen

Chuck B. BallsyFebruary 18, 2026

Want dat is toch niet moeilijk, zeg, grenzen leggen in de zorg? 📅 Wanneer: Nog even wachten tot najaar 2026,…

“I Love You but I Hate Your Politics: When Romance Meets the Electoral College”
Events

“I Love You but I Hate Your Politics: When Romance Meets the Electoral College”

Chuck B. BallsyFebruary 18, 2026

🚨🚨🇺🇸 Love in the Time of Political Warfare: A Cautionary Tale 🚨🚨🇺🇸 Attention, patriots! The American Public Square and Church…

Events

Therapeutic activities: Turning your living room into a zen spa while your kids turn it into a WWE ring

Chuck B. BallsyFebruary 18, 2026

**BREAKING: 2026’s first “lunch and learn” promises to solve all childhood trauma with glitter and glue!** 🪄✂️ Charles (not Abi,…

“Social Media: The New Picasso or Just Another Meme Factory for Arts Marketing?”
Events

“Social Media: The New Picasso or Just Another Meme Factory for Arts Marketing?”

Chuck B. BallsyFebruary 18, 2026

🎨 Social Media for Arts Orgs: Because Posting Cat Pics Isn’t Cutting It Anymore 🐱 Attention, artsy folks! The Culture…

Events

La prosodie française : le mystère des intonations qui nous rendent tous fous !

Chuck B. BallsyFebruary 18, 2026

Préparez-vous à transformer votre français en une symphonie ! 🎵 Le webinaire du 26 janvier 2026, à 9h56, vous apprendra…

“Breaking: Gen Z’s Wildest Bedroom Adventures Now Have Their Own Red Carpet Premiere”
Events

“Breaking: Gen Z’s Wildest Bedroom Adventures Now Have Their Own Red Carpet Premiere”

Chuck B. BallsyFebruary 18, 2026

Attention, perverts! (And by perverts, we mean responsible professionals, of course) Join the University of Birmingham’s Dr Sophie King-Hill for…

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Latest posts

  • Graham Platner Says He Got His ‘I (Heart) Hitler’ Tattoo Before He Knew Of Its Nazi Connections
  • XANDRIA Finally Decides to Release Some Actual Music Instead of Just Reheating the Same Old Power Ballads for the 12 People Who Still Listen to Symphonic Metal ‘Colours’ Single Dropping Like a Hot Potato From Upcoming ‘Eclipse’ Album Because Who Needs a Social Life Anyway
  • ‘Masters of the Universe’ Review: Because Who Needs a Good Reboot Anyway What a Total Masterclass in Mediocrity
  • Lebanon’s problems gonna ruin Trump’s masterplan to crush Iran somehow
  • ACCEPT Drops Earth Shattering Masterpiece ‘Fast As A Shark’ Featuring Random Music Legends They Found In Their Attic PHILIP ANSELMO, KIRK HAMMETT, BILLY SHEEHAN, MIKKEY DEE

Editorial
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Introducing Jackal.Today: The Advertising Empire You’ve Always Dreamed Of!

Finn October 8, 2024
Editorial
Editorial 2026 main
Breaking, Editorial

Jackal Today’s New Year Message: We Hope 2026 Finally Stops Plagiarizing Our Satire as Breaking News

Finn December 31, 2025
February 2026
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