Minneapolis Enforcement Surge Ends, Leaving State and DHS Officials Sweating Bullets in Senate Hot Seat
After months of liberal tantrums and fake news hysteria, President Trump’s tough border czar Tom Homan has mercifully announced the…
Month: February 2026
Top 5 Rock Vocalists Who Should Retire NOW
Guys, stop embarrassing yourself! Chuck B. BallsyChuck B. Ballsy, affectionately known in the satirical world as “The Sultan of Snark,”…
MACKAGE SAMPLE SALE: Because Who Needs Rent When You Can Have a Designer Jacket?
Event Rules and Regulations – Please Read Carefully Attention fashionistas! Prepare for the *ultimate* experience where rules are *just suggestions*.…
‘Gunperson’ And 7 Other More Inclusive Terms To Use For Non-Binary Criminals
When reporting on crime, it’s of paramount importance that journalists adhere to a strict code of ethics, which involves…
U.S. Gains Almost No Jobs In 2025
The U.S. economy experienced almost zero job growth in 2025, with the Bureau of Labor Statistics data indicating that…
Trump Orders Drone Strike On Venezuelan Olympic Cross-Country Skier
TESERO — Venezuelan cross-country skier Nicolas Claveau-Laviolette was blown off the course on Thursday in what appeared to be…
Turning Point USA Announces Alternative Puerto Rico
WASHINGTON—Hailing the move as a more wholesome and patriotic substitute for the current U.S. territory, conservative advocacy group Turning Point USA announced Thursday that it was setting up an…
Remembering James Van Der Beek – His Best Jokes
James was so good in Don't Trust the B—- in Apartment 23 Chuck B. BallsyChuck B. Ballsy, affectionately known in…
Bible Authors Admit They Were Paid $7K For Every Reference To Israel
HEAVEN — In a shocking revelation that falls in line with a common suspicion online over the last year,…
Pam Bondi Thought That Went Pretty Well
The post Pam Bondi Thought That Went Pretty Well appeared first on The Onion. The post Pam Bondi Thought…