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Author: Chord F. Discord

Chord F. Discord, the Beethoven of Buffoonery, is a self-taught expert in music who once claimed he could "play the kazoo in four languages." Born in Crescendo, Indiana, Chord’s first brush with fame came when he accidentally entered a yodeling contest thinking it was a pie-eating competition—and won both categories. Chord F. Discord: proving that laughter, much like a poorly tuned ukulele, is truly universal.
TURNSTILE Announces a 14-Song Visual Album So Groundbreaking, It’ll Premiere at TRIBECA in 2025, Because Apparently, We Haven’t Suffered Enough Already 🤪🎬🎶
Breaking

TURNSTILE Announces a 14-Song Visual Album So Groundbreaking, It’ll Premiere at TRIBECA in 2025, Because Apparently, We Haven’t Suffered Enough Already 🤪🎬🎶

Chord F. DiscordMay 8, 2025May 10, 2025

OMG! 😱 Your favorite band, TURNSTILE (you KNOW, the ones your little brother won’t stop playing?), just announced “Turnstile: Never…

Metallica generously gifts us another ‘Creeping Death’ video from Syracuse, because, you know, we haven’t seen that enough already 🙄🤘
Breaking

Metallica generously gifts us another ‘Creeping Death’ video from Syracuse, because, you know, we haven’t seen that enough already 🙄🤘

Chord F. DiscordMay 7, 2025May 7, 2025

OMG! 😱 Did you HEAR?! Someone actually FILMED Metallica playing “Creeping Death” in Syracuse! 🙄 I mean, who cares, right?…

3 Doors Down Dude Says “Bring It On, Cancer!” Like It’s a Free Guitar Solo 🤘🎸💀
Breaking

3 Doors Down Dude Says “Bring It On, Cancer!” Like It’s a Free Guitar Solo 🤘🎸💀

Chord F. DiscordMay 7, 2025May 7, 2025

Brad Arnold from 3 DOORS DOWN has stage 4 kidney cancer! 😱 Guess “The Better Life” wasn’t all that better,…

Rammstein’s Christoph Schneider Claims His Drumming Got “Simpler” Over the Years, Probably Because He Finally Realized Less Is More (Or He Just Got Lazy 😴🥁)
Breaking

Rammstein’s Christoph Schneider Claims His Drumming Got “Simpler” Over the Years, Probably Because He Finally Realized Less Is More (Or He Just Got Lazy 😴🥁)

Chord F. DiscordMay 7, 2025May 7, 2025

So, Christoph Schneider, the guy who hits things really hard in RAMMSTEIN, apparently gave an interview to Thomann’s Drum Bash.…

Witness Ace Frehley’s triumphant return to M3 Rock Festival 2025, where he’ll probably remember at least *one* song 🎸🔥🤡
Breaking

Witness Ace Frehley’s triumphant return to M3 Rock Festival 2025, where he’ll probably remember at least *one* song 🎸🔥🤡

Chord F. DiscordMay 7, 2025May 7, 2025

Breaking News: Some Dude Filmed Ace Frehley at M3 Rock Festival! 🤣 We have obtained EXCLUSIVE (totally not shaky and…

Jamey Jasta Teases Possible Single (or Two!) From Hatebreed, Sending Fans Into a Frenzy of Mild Anticipation 🙄.
Breaking

Jamey Jasta Teases Possible Single (or Two!) From Hatebreed, Sending Fans Into a Frenzy of Mild Anticipation 🙄.

Chord F. DiscordMay 7, 2025May 7, 2025

Jamey Jasta, the overlord of breakdowns and purveyor of all things tough-guy hardcore, has spoken! In a groundbreaking interview with…

Bryan Adams is STILL making albums? 👴🎸🎤🤣
Breaking

Bryan Adams is STILL making albums? 👴🎸🎤🤣

Chord F. DiscordMay 7, 2025May 7, 2025

Bryan Adams, bless his perpetually-youthful-looking heart (or is it just good Photoshop?), is unleashing another sonic assault on the world…

IN THIS MOMENT Announces Summer 2025 U.S. Tour: Prepare for Peak Cringe, Featuring a Symphony of Questionable Life Choices 🤘🤡💅
Breaking

IN THIS MOMENT Announces Summer 2025 U.S. Tour: Prepare for Peak Cringe, Featuring a Symphony of Questionable Life Choices 🤘🤡💅

Chord F. DiscordMay 6, 2025May 6, 2025

IN THIS MOMENT, the band that makes you question if you accidentally wandered into a Hot Topic clearance sale, has…

Witness the spectacle of a man who hasn’t seen relevance since disco, Gene Simmons, and his “band” gracing Red Bank, NJ with their presence in the balmy days of 2025 👴🏻🎸💸.
Breaking

Witness the spectacle of a man who hasn’t seen relevance since disco, Gene Simmons, and his “band” gracing Red Bank, NJ with their presence in the balmy days of 2025 👴🏻🎸💸.

Chord F. DiscordMay 6, 2025May 6, 2025

So, Gene Simmons, bless his black, leathery heart (probably from all the stage makeup), decided to grace Red Bank, New…

Kim Thayil Thinks Soundgarden’s Ghostly Chris Cornell Tracks Might Finally Escape the Vault and Haunt Your Speakers 👻🎁
Breaking

Kim Thayil Thinks Soundgarden’s Ghostly Chris Cornell Tracks Might Finally Escape the Vault and Haunt Your Speakers 👻🎁

Chord F. DiscordMay 5, 2025May 5, 2025

OMG, Kim Thayil Thinks He’s Gonna Finish That Soundgarden Album? 🤣😂🤣 Like, Dude, Chris Has Been Dead Since 2017! 💀…

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