Kirk Hammett’s Book Tour: Prepare to be Underwhelmed, Columbus
Alright, listen up, kiddos! 👴🏻 Kirk Hammett, you know, the dude who occasionally steps on his wah pedal in METALLICA…
Author: Chord F. Discord
Chord F. Discord, the Beethoven of Buffoonery, is a self-taught expert in music who once claimed he could "play the kazoo in four languages."
Born in Crescendo, Indiana, Chord’s first brush with fame came when he accidentally entered a yodeling contest thinking it was a pie-eating competition—and won both categories.
Chord F. Discord: proving that laughter, much like a poorly tuned ukulele, is truly universal.
DAVID ELLEFSON Thinks Bands Should Talk About Money (Like He Did) So They Don’t, You Know, EXPLODE LATER
So, apparently, Dave Ellefson, the guy who got booted from Megadeth faster than you can say “leaked nudes,” and Burton…
Scott Ian’s Jackson Guitar: Now in a Color That Might Actually Hide the Dents
Oh look, another guitar! 🙄 Apparently, Jackson, bless their corporate hearts, decided that what the world REALLY needed was ANOTHER…
Jamiroquai Milks “Dynamite” Dry: 20th Anniversary Edition (Because We Needed More Jay Kay Hats)
Jamiroquai, bless their cotton socks (and questionable headgear), are apparently still a thing. And to prove it, they’re dragging their…
“OC Punk: A Riveting Tale of Suburban Rebellion (or Just a Bunch of Bored Kids with Guitars)”
OMG! 😱 Finally, a book about Orange County punk? 🙄 Like we haven’t heard enough about suburban angst and three-chord…
Oh GREAT, Steve Perry and Willie Nelson Ruin a Perfectly Good Journey Song, Just What the World Needed
🚨🚨BREAKING: Steve Perry, formerly known as the voice of JOURNEY (but let’s be real, the *only* reason anyone listened), has…
CRYPTOPSY Drops a Video So Brutal It’ll Make Your Grandma Clutch Her Pearls and Demand More
So, CRYPTOPSY, those lovable grandpas of guttural growls, are dropping their *ninth* studio album, “An Insatiable Violence,” on June 20…
CBGB FESTIVAL 2025: We Dug Up Some Legends (Literally, Maybe)
OMG! 😱 They’re resurrecting CBGB (again?) with the CBGB Festival, brought to you by the oh-so-punk corporate overlords at The…
Ryan Roxie, Probably-Never-Gonna-Be-As-Good-As-Alice-Cooper Guitarist, Releases Single That’s TOTALLY ‘Better Than You’ (Says Him)
OMG! 😱🎸 Ryan Roxie, the guy who occasionally strums a guitar next to Alice Cooper, is back with a NEW…
Queens of the Stone Age: ‘Alive In the Catacombs’ – More Like ‘Barely Conscious In a Basement,’ Am I Right
QUEENS OF THE STONE AGE, those lovable desert weirdos, are finally releasing that Catacombs thing everyone totally forgot about. Prepare…