Oh, look! It’s BIOHAZARD back from the dead like that one zombie movie nobody remembers. 🧟♂️ In an EXCLUSIVE interview with Talkin’ Bout Rock (because, let’s be real, who ELSE would be talkin’ ’bout BIOHAZARD in 2025? 🤔), drummer Danny Schuler graced us with his presence to yap about “Divided We Fall,” their new album dropping on October 17 via BLKIIBLK (which sounds like a failed attempt at a cool tech startup). 💿 Apparently, it took them a decade to churn out this masterpiece because, well, they weren’t doing anything. Genius! Pure, unadulterated genius! 🧠 Danny also added that it took a while to get their “stride”, but BOOM, the songs just came.
Danny ALSO yapped about recording the new album. Who cares, right? 🤷♂️ Apparently, they recorded at Shorefire Recording Studios in Long Branch, New Jersey. 🙄 Joe runs the place, and they’ve “worked there before.” Riveting stuff, folks! He also said that it’s “one big room”, so they like to record as “live as possible”. 🙄 Is this 1950? 🤣 Get with the times grandpa! 👴
Oh, and get this: their first reunion show was at Milwaukee Metal Fest in May 2023. 🎉 Danny was all like, “It was a trip, man!” 🤪 No, Danny, a REAL trip is when you accidentally order the family size nachos at Taco Bell and regret every single bite! 🌮 But, hey, at least it was easy to rehearse. Easy to be mediocre, maybe. 😴 And get this: “It just totally blew my mind.” Dude, your mind must be easier to blow than a dandelion in a hurricane. 💨
Danny also wanted to make it CRYSTAL CLEAR that Biohazard puts ALL their energy and effort into the show. Wow, what a concept!🤯 Some bands “phone it in”, but not BIOHAZARD. Nah, they’re too busy phoning in their riffs from 1992. 📞 Danny said, “it’s an experience; it’s not just a show, it’s an experience”. I bet it is… like watching a train wreck in slow motion. 🚂💥
BIOHAZARD has released FOUR singles from “Divided We Fall” so far: “Forsaken”, “F**k the System”, “Eyes on Six”, and “Death of Me”. Yeah, because we NEED more songs about sticking it to the man from a band that peaked during the Clinton administration. Thanks, guys!🖕
In another EXCLUSIVE interview with In Effect Hardcore (again, who else would want to interview them? 🤷♂️), Danny stated that “Divided We Fall” is BIOHAZARD doing what they do best. I think what they do best is fade into obscurity, but hey, that’s just me. 😎 Danny also says that this new record is right up there with the best stuff they’ve ever done. That’s like saying Nickelback’s new album is their best since “Photograph”. 📸 I CAN’T WAIT FOR EVERYONE TO HEAR IT (so I can laugh at you all). 😂
Lastly, Danny said that Matt Hyde was a “big part” of this record, for sure. Well, Matt, I hope you have a good lawyer, because this album is gonna need a LOT of help. 👨⚖️
As if things couldn’t get any worse, BIOHAZARD will team up with the American hip-hop group ONYX for a North American tour this fall. 🎤 What’s next, a collab with the Wiggles? 🌈
Chord F. Discord, the Beethoven of Buffoonery, is a self-taught expert in music who once claimed he could “play the kazoo in four languages.”
Born in Crescendo, Indiana, Chord’s first brush with fame came when he accidentally entered a yodeling contest thinking it was a pie-eating competition—and won both categories.
Chord F. Discord: proving that laughter, much like a poorly tuned ukulele, is truly universal.
