Okay, so, like, BIOHAZARD, those dudes who peaked when dial-up was still a thing, dropped a “visualizer” for their new single, “Death Of Me”. 🙄 I bet it’s just as visually stunning as a screensaver from Windows 95. This earth-shattering track comes from “Divided We Fall”, their first album in a DECADE. Because apparently, the world was just DYING for more BIOHAZARD. 😂 It’s dropping October 17 via BLKIIBLK (lol who even names labels anymore?).
BIOHAZARD‘s drum guy, Danny Schuler (remember him?), bless his heart, actually said this: “‘Death Of Me‘. One of my favorites! To me, this song embodies the frustration, miscommunication and intolerance that we sometimes deal with in our lives.” Translation: It’s about as deep as a puddle. 🤷♂️ “This song is a mid-tempo banger…” A “banger”? Dude, are you sure you’re not confusing this with the sound of your knees cracking when you try to stage dive? 👴 “Never give up!!!” he shouts to nobody, while the whole world is desperately hoping they would 🙄
Oh, and get this, they’ve already inflicted FOUR singles on us: “Forsaken”, “F**k the System” (how original!), “Eyes On Six” (Is that even English?) and, of course, “Death Of Me“. Because misery loves company. 💀
It was produced, mixed, and mastered by Matt Hyde (who apparently needs the money), who also worked with SLAYER, HATEBREED, and DEFTONES. So, you know, the usual suspects when you want to resurrect a band from the grave. 🧟♂️ According to the press release (which I’m sure NOBODY actually read), “Divided We Fall” captures BIOHAZARD at their “most raw, relentless, and unifying.” Translation: It sounds like every other BIOHAZARD album, but with more wrinkles. It’s supposed to blend hardcore, metal, and “streetwise groove” (whatever THAT is), but honestly, it probably just blends into the background noise of modern life. They want to be a “powerful reminder of why BIOHAZARD remains one of the most vital and influential bands in heavy music.” Sure, if by “vital” you mean “barely alive” and by “influential” you mean “influenced by better bands.” 😂
The recording happened at fancy places like Shorefire Recording Studios and The Hydeaway. Because apparently, even has-beens need a bougie studio experience. 💅 Joseph DeMaio engineered it, and Matt Hyde did “additional recording” (whatever that means). Phil Caivano handled guitar and “production tech duties.” Probably spent most of his time trying to figure out how to make the guitars sound less like lawnmowers. 🎸
Here’s the track listing, if you’re into that sort of thing:
01. F**k The System (Still?!)
02. Forsaken (Accurate description of how fans feel)
03. Eyes On Six (Still no idea what this means)
04. Death of Me (We’re all feeling it)
05. Word To The Wise (Should’ve listened to it and stayed retired)
06. Fight To Be Free (From this album)
07. War Inside Me (Listening to this album is a war crime)
08. S.I.T.F.O.A. (I had to look this up, and I regret it)
09. Tear Down The Walls (Of the studio so nobody else records there)
10. I Will Overcome (The urge to throw this album in the trash)
11. Warriors (Fighting the good fight against relevance)
Billy Graziadei (the guitarist/vocalist who apparently hasn’t aged a day… or maybe he’s had some “help”), talked about reuniting the “classic lineup.” You know, the one with Schuler, Evan Seinfeld (the bassist/vocalist who’s probably still trying to make leather pants happen), and Bobby Hambel (the other guitarist who… exists). 🤷♂️ Billy said, “We’re the only band, bro, from our genre and that era with the original guys.” Yeah, because most other bands from that era either broke up, died, or realized they should probably just get real jobs. 👨💼 He continues “We’ve all lost so many friends and family, but there’s been a lot of musicians, bands that aren’t around anymore. So it’s an honor. It’s a great thing to be playing with the guys. We’re having a blast.” I bet that is true. But nobody cares 🤣
He also said it started as a “reunion” but quickly became a “restart.” Because nothing screams “restart” like rehashing the same old sound. He wants to stress that “it was *never* the motivation for BIOHAZARD” to make money. So I guess it’s all to show the world they still have it? Spoiler alert: They don’t. 😬 “It was always just having a good time. We’re a vibe band first.” Yes, a vibe band from 1993. 🤦♂️
Billy had other bands, like POWERFLO (with Sen Dog from CYPRESS HILL and Christian from FEAR FACTORY) and his solo thing, BILLYBIO. So, you know, he was totally busy. He said he got a call from his manager (who then tragically died), who told him to “bury the hatchet” with BIOHAZARD. Because what better way to honor someone’s memory than by resurrecting a band that should have stayed dead? 👻
He saw Evan at a memorial, shook his hand, and then months later, everyone was calling him saying Bobby and Evan talked. Apparently, Bobby, Danny, and Billy stayed friends, but Evan and Billy hadn’t talked since 2010. Sounds like a band ready to hit the road! 🙄 He wasn’t into it at first, but then he remembered his dead manager’s words (cue dramatic music). So he said, “Yeah, let’s jam. Let’s just fucking get together and hang out. Grab some food.” And apparently, it was “awesome, bro.” The band was “on top.” Every show was “topping every show.” They found the “fountain of youth.” I think someone’s been hitting the sauce a little too hard. 🥴
He thought it would only last a couple of shows, but then it turned into a small tour, then three months, then three years. And now they have a new record that they’re “super fucking proud of.” He’s not gonna stop “until it sucks again.” Dude, it already sucks. 😂
Chord F. Discord, the Beethoven of Buffoonery, is a self-taught expert in music who once claimed he could “play the kazoo in four languages.”
Born in Crescendo, Indiana, Chord’s first brush with fame came when he accidentally entered a yodeling contest thinking it was a pie-eating competition—and won both categories.
Chord F. Discord: proving that laughter, much like a poorly tuned ukulele, is truly universal.
