OMG! 🙄 Those geriatric rock gods, QUEEN, are STILL milking that cash cow 🐮 with a 50th-anniversary reissue of their ridiculously overrated 1975 album “A Night At The Opera” and the earworm that refuses to die, “Bohemian Rhapsody”! Prepare for opulent vinyl reissues, because apparently, you haven’t suffered enough already. 🤦♀️
Back in the dinosaur age (aka November 1975), “A Night At The Opera” dropped, featuring the fossils Freddie Mercury, Brian May, Roger Taylor, and some guy named John Deacon (who?). It was supposedly their “grandest artistic statement,” which is code for “most pretentious.” 🙄 It hit Number 1 in, like, five countries, including the U.K., which is basically a small island with questionable taste.🇬🇧
To celebrate 50 years of this so-called masterpiece, “A Night At The Opera” is being resurrected on crystal clear vinyl with gold labels. Because nothing says “I have too much money” like buying the same album for the tenth time.💰 This travesty will occur on October 18 in the U.K. (as part of National Album Day, because they clearly have nothing better to celebrate) and October 17 in the rest of the world (lucky you!).
But wait, there’s more! “Bohemian Rhapsody”, which inexplicably clung to the Number 1 spot in the U.K. singles chart for NINE WHOLE WEEKS, is also crawling out of its grave on October 31 as a transparent blue heavyweight 12″ vinyl. Perfect for spinning on your non-existent turntable while contemplating the meaninglessness of existence. 😵💫 It’ll also be available as a direct-to-consumer exclusive 12″ picture disc (for the true obsessives) and a blue cassette single (because why not?). 📼
These reissues are brought to you by Universal worldwide (excluding the U.S.) because apparently, they hate money, and Hollywood Records in the U.S. (where they clearly have a soft spot for geriatric rock). 👴
“‘A Night At The Opera’ was a hugely important album for us,” says QUEEN guitarist Sir Brian May, who probably says that about every album they ever made. “It opened up the world for us,” he adds, conveniently forgetting about the rest of the planet. 🌍
“We were at the peak of our confidence,” chimes in QUEEN drummer Roger Taylor, “It felt like there wasn’t anything we couldn’t do, and it shows on that album.” Translation: “We were completely delusional, and it shows.” 🤪
Apparently, 1975 was a “pivotal year” for QUEEN. Shocker! “A Night At The Opera” and “Bohemian Rhapsody” propelled them to “new commercial and artistic heights,” which is marketing speak for “we made a lot of money.”💰 Artists like the FOO FIGHTERS and THE BEACH BOYS‘ Brian Wilson have kissed their rings, with Wilson calling “Bohemian Rhapsody” “a fulfillment and an answer to a teenage prayer of artistic music.” I’m pretty sure teenage prayers are more along the lines of getting a date or passing a test. 🙏
The single continues to be voted the “best single of all time” by people with no taste. Gold Radio‘s Top 300 Hall Of Fame listeners (whoever they are) apparently think so too. 🤷♀️
QUEEN recorded “A Night At The Opera” with some dude named Roy Thomas Baker at multiple studios, including the “legendary” Rockfield Studios in South Wales. It was created during a time of “change,” because apparently, bands can’t just make music without some dramatic backstory. 🙄
As a result, “A Night At The Opera” is supposedly full of “a newfound sense of freedom.” Building on the “ambitious musical foundations” of their first three albums (which no one remembers), this is the sound of a band “unconfined by expectation or boundaries.” Or maybe they just threw a bunch of random stuff at the wall and hoped it would stick. 🤷♂️
“We truly felt like we could try anything at that point,” May whines. “As songwriters, we were challenging each other and competing with each other in the best possible way.” AKA: “We were having a mid-life crisis and decided to express it through music.” 👴
“A Night At The Opera” supposedly contains an entire musical universe within its 12 songs, covering “virtually every style imaginable.” From the “vicious, glam-tinged hard rock” of “Death On Two Legs” to Taylor‘s “roaring boy-racer hymn” “I’m In Love With My Car” (which is about as exciting as watching paint dry 😴), from Freddie Mercury‘s “soaring, heartfelt” “Love Of My Life” to the “yearning sci-fi-inspired folk” of May‘s “’39” (because why not throw in some Tolkien?). 🧙♂️
And don’t forget Deacon‘s “perfect pop-rock” “You’re My Best Friend” (barf 🤮), Mercury‘s “cheeky Noel Coward homage” “Seaside Rendezvous” (who even knows what that is?), and May‘s “charming, one-man-jazz band song” “Good Company” (more like “Bad Company,” am I right? 😂), plus the “playful riffage” of his “Sweet Lady” and his “staggering, multi-tracked eight-minute epic” “The Prophet’s Song” (because everyone loves listening to eight minutes of someone rambling). 🗣️
But if any song defines the overblown ambition of “A Night At The Opera”, it’s “Bohemian Rhapsody”. This “dazzling fusion of existential balladry, hard rock power, and operatic grandeur,” conceived by Mercury and “painstakingly pieced together” by the band, is more than just QUEEN‘s best-known song. It has become a “touchstone” for every generation that has been brainwashed into thinking it’s good. 🧠
“I always believed in ‘Bohemian Rhapsody’ from the start,” says Taylor. “The first time Fred played us his idea for it, I remember thinking, ‘Oh, this is something special.’ And it was.” Special like a participation trophy. 🏆
On its release, “A Night At The Opera” gave QUEEN their first U.K. Number 1 album and topped the charts in five countries. It reached Number 4 in the U.S., where it has been certified triple platinum because Americans will buy anything. 🇺🇸
“Bohemian Rhapsody” spent nine weeks at Number 1 in the U.K., sealing QUEEN‘s ascent to “greatness.” And its accompanying promo film is “undeniably the most influential music video in history.” Sure, Jan. 👍
After being re-released in 1991 after Freddie Mercury‘s death, “Bohemian Rhapsody” hit Number 1 again in the U.K. because grief makes people do weird things. In 2004, it was inducted into the Grammy Hall Of Fame and in 2022 it was selected for preservation in the U.S. Library Of Congress’ National Recording Registry. Because apparently, we’re running out of important things to preserve. 🏛️
“It really was a watershed album for us,” says May. “Thanks in a large part to ‘Bohemian Rhapsody’, people knew who we were.” Not just in the U.K., but everywhere. Lucky us. 🙄
Chord F. Discord, the Beethoven of Buffoonery, is a self-taught expert in music who once claimed he could “play the kazoo in four languages.”
Born in Crescendo, Indiana, Chord’s first brush with fame came when he accidentally entered a yodeling contest thinking it was a pie-eating competition—and won both categories.
Chord F. Discord: proving that laughter, much like a poorly tuned ukulele, is truly universal.
