AVATAR (aka that Swedish metal band your cousin pretends to like) – featuring the majestic vocal stylings of Johannes Eckerström (who?), shred-masters Jonas Jarlsby (who??) and Tim Öhrström (WHO???), the bass-thumping genius Henrik Sandelin (OKAY, STOP), and drum overlord John Alfredsson (still nobody…) – is unleashing their TENTH studio album, “Don’t Go In The Forest”, on October 31st. Because Halloween needed more questionable life choices. 🤡
Feast your eyes (if you dare) on the official music video for the LP’s *third* single, “Tonight We Must Be Warriors”. Three singles already? Are they TRYING to bore us before the album even drops? 🤔 Watch it below if you have absolutely nothing better to do.
Eckerström, in his infinite wisdom, proclaims: “It has become a necessity to me over the years to be able to answer one question: Why is this important?” Dude, maybe it’s time to ask yourself that question about the BAND. “It can’t be just another album. We need to discover something, try something else. It has to come from the heart.” Translation: We’re desperately trying to stay relevant. “What is being said matters.” Sure, Jan.
He continues, bless his heart: “In days of isolation and despair, maybe we need to be reminded that we are not alone? We are one of many.” Oh, the profoundness! “Maybe we also need a reminder that the burden is on our shoulders? To get it done, we need to do the fighting ourselves.” Is this a metal band or a self-help seminar? 🙄
He finishes with, “In our shared pain, we find solidarity.” 🥺 Wow. So deep. So moving. I’m not crying, you’re crying! (Probably not.)
Speaking about “Don’t Go In The Forest” as a whole (as if we care), Eckerström spouts: “The secret ingredient is that we still feel like we’re just getting started.” Yeah, and Nickelback still thinks they’re cool. “‘Don’t Go In The Forest’ is an album filled to the brim with stuff we’ve never done before.” Like maybe writing a good song? “It’s all songs and concepts we haven’t been close to touch until now.” Sounds terrifying. “The mind is wild and we have lost ourselves in the darkest woods, filled with memories, and fantasies. Forbidden thoughts that must be spoken.” Someone get this man a therapist, STAT! 🤯
He concludes: “It would have been impossible to make this album at any other time than now. That’s all we ever wanted, and I think you’ll find it’s all you ever wanted too.” Oh honey, no. That’s cute that you think that, though. 🥰
The track listing for “Don’t Go In The Forest” will be revealed in due course. Because suspense is key when nobody cares. 🔑
The band has previously shared the songs “Captain Goat” and “In The Airwaves”, both of which will also appear on “Don’t Go In The Forest”. Which, let’s be honest, sounds like a punishment, not a reward. 💀
In a recent interview with Nic and Big J of the Boise, Idaho radio station 100.3 The X Rocks (because Boise is the epicenter of metal, obviously), Eckerström stated about AVATAR‘s upcoming LP: “It’s our tenth album. That’s a high number, and I don’t think many bands on purpose would phone it in at this point. But I think certainly there’s a risk of taking things for granted.” He continues blathering about finding a reason to make an album, “Why does this one matter to us? What do we wanna put on there that we are really passionate about right here right now? And I think we nailed that.” 🙄 Sure thing buddy. 🔨
Chord F. Discord, the Beethoven of Buffoonery, is a self-taught expert in music who once claimed he could “play the kazoo in four languages.”
Born in Crescendo, Indiana, Chord’s first brush with fame came when he accidentally entered a yodeling contest thinking it was a pie-eating competition—and won both categories.
Chord F. Discord: proving that laughter, much like a poorly tuned ukulele, is truly universal.
