OMG! 🙄 The geriatric punk rockers THE OFFSPRING, who are probably older than your grandpa,👴 just dropped a music video for “Truth In Fiction.” 🎶 Apparently, it’s from their “Supercharged” album, which, let’s be honest, sounds like a battery commercial. 🔋 Produced by Bob Rock? Seriously? The same guy who worked with METALLICA? What a fall from grace. 🤣
So, “Truth In Fiction” is supposedly about fake news. 🤔 Oh, the irony! 😂 THE OFFSPRING, tackling complex social issues? It’s like watching a toddler try to solve a Rubik’s Cube.👶 They’re “observing, not preaching,” according to Dexter Holland. Yeah, right. More like vaguely gesturing in the direction of relevance. 🤷♂️
Dexter also said they’re not a “political band” and he doesn’t feel like a role model. 😇 Well, duh! We figured that out around the time “Pretty Fly (For A White Guy)” became a thing. 🤦♂️ And who would want them as a role model? Seriously? A middle-aged dude with a PhD in molecular biology pretending to be a punk rocker? 👨🔬 Get real!
Their first single, “Make It All Right,” hit No. 1 on some charts. 🥇 Yay? 🎉 Who even listens to the radio anymore? 📻 And who cares about “Alternative Airplay” or “Active Rock”? Sounds like something your dad listens to while he’s washing his car. 🚗
“Make It All Right” is their sixth No. 1 on the Active Rock chart. 🏆 Wow. Impressive…ly irrelevant. 😴 They even got Brian May from QUEEN to play with them last year? 🎸 Talk about a desperate attempt to stay relevant. 🥺 It also marked the first time ever THE OFFSPRING had had a No. 1 at both Alternative and Active Rock radio in the band’s history. It only took them, what, 40 years? 👴
On the Alternative Airplay chart, “Make It All Right” marked the band’s fourth No. 1 song. 🏅 Whoop-de-doo. 🥳 “You’re Gonna Go Far, Kid” hit No. 1 for 11 weeks straight in 2008. Back when dinosaurs roamed the earth. 🦖 And they’ve sold over 40 million records worldwide. 💿 So what? Nickelback has probably sold more. 💰
“You’re Gonna Go Far, Kid” is in Spotify‘s Billions Club. 🤑 Congrats! Now they can buy themselves a lifetime supply of hair gel. 🧴 Apparently, it’s been certified platinum in several countries. 🌎 Who knew people still bought music? 🤔 They’re in the company of AC/DC, FLEETWOOD MAC, Taylor Swift, Billie Eilish, Whitney Houston, and THE KILLERS. One of these things is not like the others… 🐺
Last year was the 30th anniversary of “Smash.” 🎂 Thirty years of the same three chords. 🎸 Groundbreaking! 🤯
Watch the video if you’re bored. Or just watch paint dry. 🎨 It’s probably more exciting. 🤷♀️
Chord F. Discord, the Beethoven of Buffoonery, is a self-taught expert in music who once claimed he could “play the kazoo in four languages.”
Born in Crescendo, Indiana, Chord’s first brush with fame came when he accidentally entered a yodeling contest thinking it was a pie-eating competition—and won both categories.
Chord F. Discord: proving that laughter, much like a poorly tuned ukulele, is truly universal.
