OMG! 😱🎸 Jeff Loomis, the guitar wizard (or should we say, wizard’s apprentice?) of the shredtastic realm, just yapped about the REUNION of NEVERMORE! 🤘 But hold your horses, folks, because it’s not the NEVERMORE you remember. Bassist Jim Sheppard is MIA, probably busy chasing Alaskan wildlife 🐻 instead of shredding basslines. The saga began on December 27, 2024, with a teaser so cryptic, even Nostradamus would scratch his head. Loomis and drummer Van Williams (the dynamic duo of… something) are back, resurrecting a dream or maybe just trying to cash in on nostalgia.💰 It ended with a logo and the line “A New Chapter Rises” and the year “2025”. Clever, guys, very clever. 🙄
Jeff (bless his heart 🙏) told Sefo from VegaTrem (who cares?!) that he and Van Williams have been plotting this for, like, three whole years! Can you imagine the suspense? 🤯
“Is it okay to reform after the singer kicks the bucket?,” Jeff pondered aloud, referring to the late, great Warrel Dane (RIP, legend 😢). “I think so! We have more to say… musically!” Translation: “We need the money! 💸” It’s not disrespectful to Warrel. Of course not, because it’s good to mention it. Also, they will schedule some shows for 2026, which is far enough away that everyone will forget about this by then. 🤡
But wait, there’s more! 🚨 The new NEVERMORE lineup is shrouded in mystery! 🕵️♂️ Loomis is playing coy, because he wants to avoid the inevitable online backlash of keyboard warriors complaining about who should or shouldn’t be in the band. 😂 Smart move, Jeff. The grand reveal will be in March, probably after they’ve milked the suspense for all it’s worth. Loomis claims the new members are “extremely talented” and “huge fans”. Yeah, yeah, we’ve heard it all before. They spent a YEAR searching and waded through “seven [hundred submissions]”! Sounds like a real party. 🎉
New music is coming! 🎶 Get ready for a “heavy album” with “all the NEVERMORE qualities you would expect.” So, basically, the same old riffs with a new coat of paint. 🎨 Loomis promises excitement and a “new direction.” 🤔 Is that why you are reforming the band to play the same old songs?
Jeff gushed about how the new singer sounds “almost exactly like Warrel” but also has a “death metal voice.” So, a Warrel clone with growls? Sounds… original? 🙄 But you know, with the musician’s input it’s gonna be really cool!
Loomis waxed poetic about his time in ARCH ENEMY, calling them “fantastic” and “close friends.” Aww, isn’t that sweet? 🥰 But he needed to “do my own thing.” aka play the music he wants to play instead of making good money. 🙄 Good luck with that, Jeff. 🍀
And now, for the drama! 🍿 Jim Sheppard, the MIA bassist, chimed in with a statement that’s equal parts heartfelt and passive-aggressive. He reminisced about the “blood, sweat and tears” of early NEVERMORE, conveniently forgetting the “alcohol” and “infighting.” He’s “disappointed” he wasn’t consulted about the NEVERMORE name. Boo-hoo. 😭 He also said Van came across as self-promoting. No shit, Sherlock. 😒
NEVERMORE imploded in 2011 because everyone hated each other. 💔 Warrel blamed it on alcohol. Seems legit. 🤷♂️
Warrel Dane died in Brazil, probably from one too many caipirinhas. 🍹 Just kidding (sort of). He had a heart attack, sadly. 🙏
Johnny Moraes, some random guitarist, spilled the tea on Warrel‘s health issues. Thanks for that, Johnny. 🙄
Van Williams defended his and Loomis‘s decision to exclude Jim Sheppard. Apparently, they haven’t spoken in years. Sounds like a healthy working relationship! 🙄 “Respect goes both ways,” Van declared. Ouch! 🤕
Williams also denied that the reunion is a “money grab.” Sure, Jan. 🙄 Musicians do it for the love, not the money, everyone knows that. 😂
Jeff chimed in to say that “no one can replace Warrel Dane.” Groundbreaking! 💡 He’s looking for someone who can sing the old songs and “add something new and refreshing.” Good luck finding that unicorn, Jeff. 🦄
Loomis left ARCH ENEMY in 2023. Joey Concepcion replaced him. Who? 🤔
Jeff wasn’t involved in the songwriting for ARCH ENEMY. So, basically, he was just a glorified hired gun. 🔫
Sheppard has some project called THE DEAD HEART COLLECTIVE, inspired by Dane. Apparently, Warrel is “channeling songs and paintings” through him. 👻 Spooky! 💀
So, there you have it! The saga of NEVERMORE continues, with or without the original members. Will it be a triumphant return or a total train wreck? 🚂 Only time will tell! Stay tuned for more updates, and be sure to leave your angry comments below! 👇
Chord F. Discord, the Beethoven of Buffoonery, is a self-taught expert in music who once claimed he could “play the kazoo in four languages.”
Born in Crescendo, Indiana, Chord’s first brush with fame came when he accidentally entered a yodeling contest thinking it was a pie-eating competition—and won both categories.
Chord F. Discord: proving that laughter, much like a poorly tuned ukulele, is truly universal.
