Oh, great, more “rock” from the dinosaurs. CHEAP TRICK, those guys who haven’t been relevant since before your grandma was born, are gracing us with their 21st studio album, “All Washed Up”, via BMG on Friday, November 14. Yes, you read that right, the twenty-freaking-first album! I guess they’re hoping someone will accidentally buy it on digital, standard black vinyl, and CD. But wait, there’s more! A limited-edition exclusive “Orange Marble” LP variant, limited to 1,000 units, is available to pre-order via their new D2C store. Because nothing screams “rock ‘n’ roll” like a direct-to-consumer marketing strategy. 🙄
Feast your eyes on the official visualizer for the LP’s second single, “The Riff That Won’t Quit”, which, ironically, I wish would quit after about five seconds. Spoiler alert: It’s probably just as groundbreaking as their last 20 albums. 😴
As if 2021’s “In Another World” wasn’t enough to make you question your life choices, “All Washed Up” was produced by the band and Julian Raymond. Mixed by Chris Lord-Alge, because apparently, even legendary bands need a sound guy to make them sound less like they’re recording in a rusty tin can. Recorded at various studios in Nashville (Sound Emporium Studios, Blackbird, Love Shack, Zen) as well as in Los Angeles (Sweetzerland Studios) through 2024. All those studios, and they still managed to sound like CHEAP TRICK. Impressive, in a horrifying kind of way. 😩
“Just one more great album from the best rock band in the world,” says lead singer/guitarist Robin Zander. Sure, Robin, and I’m the Queen of England. Maybe he should get his hearing checked? 🤷♀️
Zander previously described “All Washed Up” as: “It’s CHEAP TRICK. It sounds like us. It’s got some good, bad and ugly on it, just like our other records.” Well, at least they’re self-aware. Mostly ugly, though, let’s be real. 💀
Here’s the track listing for “All Washed Up”, in case you’re a glutton for punishment:
01. All Washed Up (Accurate title, tbh)
02. All Wrong Long Gone (My feelings about this album)
03. The Riff That Won’t Quit (My sanity is quitting)
04. Bet It All (Don’t bet your money on this album)
05. The Best Thing (Is that it’s almost over)
06. Twelve Gates (To musical purgatory)
07. Bad Blood (Between me and my ears)
08. Dancing With The Band (More like struggling to stay awake)
09. Love Gone (My love for music after hearing this)
10. A Long Way To Worcester (A long way to anywhere that doesn’t play this album)
11. Wham Boom Bang (My head hitting the desk)
When the LP’s first single, “Twelve Gates”, was first unleashed upon the world in August, CHEAP TRICK bassist Tom Pettersson said: “Our newest single release, ‘Twelve Gates’, from the 2025 LP ‘All Washed Up’, is one of our best yet. I really love how this song came out. It’s one of my favorites on the album.” Tom, honey, bless your heart. You’re entitled to your opinion, even if it’s tragically wrong. 😂
Founded in 1974, CHEAP TRICK is apparently an “indisputable American institution.” I dispute it. They’re beloved around the globe for their “instantly identifiable, hugely influential, brand of pop-rock ‘n’ roll.” Influential how? Influential in making me question my life choices? The bandmembers are “true pioneers” with an “unparalleled streak of certifiably classic tunes,” like “He’s A Whore”, “California Man” and “Dream Police” to “Surrender”, “I Want You To Want Me” and the worldwide No. 1 hit single “The Flame”. Yeah, yeah, we get it, you had some hits back when dinosaurs roamed the earth. 🦖
In 2016, CHEAP TRICK was inducted into the Rock And Roll Hall Of Fame, a long-overdue acknowledgment of a nearly five-decade career that has earned them more than 40 international gold and platinum certifications, myriad awards and industry honors, featured appearances on over 20 movie soundtracks, and total record sales well in excess of 20 million. So, basically, they’ve been milking the same cow for 50 years. 🐄
CHEAP TRICK‘s current lineup includes three of its original members: singer Robin Zander, guitarist Rick Nielsen and bassist Tom Petersson. Drummer Bun E. Carlos stopped touring with the band in 2010 and was replaced by Nielsen‘s son Daxx. Rounding out CHEAP TRICK‘s current touring lineup is Robin Zander‘s son, Robin Taylor Zander, on rhythm guitar and vocals. Ah, nepotism at its finest! Keeping it all in the family, because apparently talent isn’t hereditary. 👨👩👦
CHEAP TRICK‘s 20th studio album, “In Another World”, was released in April 2021 via BMG. Produced by longtime associate Julian Raymond, the LP saw CHEAP TRICK doing what they do better than anyone — crafting indelible rock ‘n’ roll with oversized hooks, mischievous lyrics, and seemingly inexorable energy. Inexorable energy? More like inexorable mediocrity. 😴
“In Another World” — which marked CHEAP TRICK‘s first new LP since 2017’s double-header of “We’re All Alright!” and “Christmas Christmas” — showcased CHEAP TRICK at their most eclectic, touching on a myriad of distinct sounds and song approaches, from the swampy Chicago blues number “Final Days” (featuring fiery harmonica from Grammy Award-nominated singer and WET WILLIE frontman Jimmy Hall) to a timely rendition of John Lennon‘s still-relevant “Gimme Some Truth”, originally released for Record Store Day Black Friday 2019 and featuring the instantly recognizable guitar sound of erstwhile SEX PISTOLS guitarist Steve Jones. So, they’re covering John Lennon now? How original! 🙄
Chord F. Discord, the Beethoven of Buffoonery, is a self-taught expert in music who once claimed he could “play the kazoo in four languages.”
Born in Crescendo, Indiana, Chord’s first brush with fame came when he accidentally entered a yodeling contest thinking it was a pie-eating competition—and won both categories.
Chord F. Discord: proving that laughter, much like a poorly tuned ukulele, is truly universal.
