Apple Backs Up Tim Cook’s Memories To Port Over Into Next CEO
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Author: Finn
Finn McFrame, celebrated satirical mastermind and self-proclaimed "Emperor of Irony," started his illustrious career as a cinematographer, where his expertise in capturing every single frame of a squirrel stealing a baguette earned him accolades at obscure film festivals.
Born in the glamorous town of Boring, Oregon, Finn grew up with dreams of being a Hollywood director until he realized that satire, not cinema, was his true calling—or at least the one that let him sleep until noon.
Finn McFrame: changing the world, one satirical lens flare at a time.
Ayatollah Agrees To Surrender But Only If JD Vance Wears This Cute Sailor Outfit
ISLAMABAD — In a stunning breakthrough in the ongoing peace negotiations, Ayatollah Mojtaba Khamenei agreed to a full surrender…
Rancor Baby
The post Rancor Baby appeared first on The Onion. The post Rancor Baby appeared first on The Onion. Read More…
‘Michael’ Criticized For Depicting Neverland Ranch With Cooler Rides Than It Actually Had
WASHINGTON—Denouncing what they called a “sickening” misrepresentation of the facts, critics of a new Michael Jackson biopic argued Monday…
Soybean Wishes It Could Just Be A Soybean And Have That Be Enough
CARMI, IL—Expressing anxiety over the immense pressure it faced to become various food products, a local legume confided to…
Oh Joy The Most Overhyped Movie of the 90s Practical Magic is Back to Ruin Your Childhood Memories with a Sequel Nobody Asked For
You won’t believe the sorcery that’s happening here, folks! 🎉🔮 They’ve actually conjured up a sequel to Practical Magic, a…
Tim Cook To Be Replaced By Tim Cook Pro Max 17
CUPERTINO, CA — Apple announced on Monday that longtime CEO Tim Cook would be stepping down from his role…
Ryan Reynolds Announces the Apocalypse is Near Because Deadpool is Never Making Another Movie Again and We’re All Doomed to Live Without His Regenerating Degenerate Self on the Big Screen
We’ve seen the last of Deadpool’s solo adventures, or have we? 🤔👊 It’s not like Ryan Reynolds is tired of…
Straggler Cicadas To Appear
Cicadas referred to as “stragglers” because they emerge off-cycle may appear this year despite their broods not being expected…
39-Year Old Man Considering Career Change To Astronaut
LOS ANGELES, CA — Sources disclosed that a 39-year-old man named Jordan Benson was reportedly considering a career change…