America Finally Interested In Soccer After Realizing How Angry You Can Make Europeans
U.S. — After years of ignoring the world’s most popular sport, Americans finally took a keen interest in soccer…
Author: Finn
Finn McFrame, celebrated satirical mastermind and self-proclaimed "Emperor of Irony," started his illustrious career as a cinematographer, where his expertise in capturing every single frame of a squirrel stealing a baguette earned him accolades at obscure film festivals.
Born in the glamorous town of Boring, Oregon, Finn grew up with dreams of being a Hollywood director until he realized that satire, not cinema, was his true calling—or at least the one that let him sleep until noon.
Finn McFrame: changing the world, one satirical lens flare at a time.
California Bans ‘Sell By’ Food Labels
California banned the use of “sell by” labels on food packaging in an effort to cut down on food…
Because You Definitely Needed Another List Of Movies To Ignore This Year
Movie theaters are back, and with them, a plethora of blockbuster hits that have helped propel the domestic box office…
America Offers To Help Cool Off Planet By Opening Windows And Lowering AC To 65
U.S. — With several areas across the globe battling record high temperatures, Americans have graciously offered to help by…
Another Original Title Project Hail Mary Hits Amazon Streaming
Project Hail Mary is finally making its way to streaming, because what’s a blockbuster sci-fi movie without being available on…
Historians Theorize Declaration Of Independence Started As ‘Twilight’ Fan Fiction
WASHINGTON—Offering new insight into the origins of America’s founding document, a group of leading historians published a report this…
Chicago Police Assure Residents Those Loud Popping Noises Are Just Gunshots
CHICAGO, IL — After fielding a flood of calls complaining of loud popping noises, the Chicago Police Department issued…
Andy Reid Approaches Floor For Traditional Coach-Tight End Wedding Dance
NEW YORK—Rising from his seat as the first notes of Lee Ann Womack’s “I Hope You Dance” blasted over…
‘Babe, You Shrunk!’ Says Panicked Travis Kelce To Mini Bride On Wedding Cake
NEW YORK—Struggling to wrap his head around the horrific sight before him, a panicked Travis Kelce reportedly yelled, “Babe,…
Travis Kelce Wins Coin Flip To Kick Off Vows
The post Travis Kelce Wins Coin Flip To Kick Off Vows appeared first on The Onion. Read More FinnFinn…