New Starfleet Vessel Unable To Reach Warp Speed Because Crew Is Too Fat
SPACE, THE FINAL FRONTIER — The exploration of other strange, new worlds and the seeking out of new life…
Jackal.Today satirical news site
Jackal.Today satirical news site
SPACE, THE FINAL FRONTIER — The exploration of other strange, new worlds and the seeking out of new life…
Every woman wants a hunky, conservative dude to marry. The hard part is knowing how to attract them. Every…
NEW YORK—Lauding the commander-in-chief’s response to being heckled at a Ford plant as a stunning physical feat, pundits from…
BRUSSELS — Amid the looming threat of a U.S. military takeover of Greenland, NATO requested emergency aid from the…
STARBASE, TX—Claiming that his relationship with the nation’s adults had been ‘irreparably’ damaged by their recent comments in support of…
U.S. — In yet another potentially ominous sign that President Donald Trump was dead-set on the United States acquiring…
Gregory Bovino is “commander at large” of the U.S. Border Patrol’s mass deportation efforts. The Onion takes a look…
U.S. — After watching the news of the Iranian government executing tens of thousands of protestors, political commentator Tucker…
WASHINGTON—In an abrupt termination that surprised many White House observers and raised questions about the fate of her remaining…
🚨 BREAKING NEWS: It only took them the entire Age of the Ancients, a few cycles of Ragnarok, and probably…