8,500-Year-Old Settlement Lost To Rising Sea Discovered Off Denmark’s Coast
Read MoreThe OnionIn Denmark’s Bay of Aarhus, archaeologists have discovered an 8,500-year-old Stone Age settlement that has been preserved like…
Author: Finn
Finn McFrame, celebrated satirical mastermind and self-proclaimed "Emperor of Irony," started his illustrious career as a cinematographer, where his expertise in capturing every single frame of a squirrel stealing a baguette earned him accolades at obscure film festivals.
Born in the glamorous town of Boring, Oregon, Finn grew up with dreams of being a Hollywood director until he realized that satire, not cinema, was his true calling—or at least the one that let him sleep until noon.
Finn McFrame: changing the world, one satirical lens flare at a time.
John Malkovich Butlers Up in New Comedy; Critics Predict Career Suicide
Vertigo Releasing, bless their cotton socks, has announced the cinematic event of the year (or, you know, at least of…
Deathstalker: Prepare to Have Your Sword and Sorcery Standards Lowered (Trailer Inside)
Oh boy, another remake! 🙄 In Deathstalker, because Hollywood is SO original, the Kingdom of Abraxeon (try saying that five…
Emma Thompson and Judy Greer star in “Dead of Winter,” a thriller that’s probably not as thrilling as doing your taxes
Oh, honey, get ready for the most groundbreaking cinematic masterpiece of 2025! 🙄 It’s about a woman, Barb (played by…
RFK Jr. Vows To Make Sure Chemtrails No Longer Contain Seed Oils
U.S. — Health Secretary RFK Jr promised to make Americans healthier by ordering a thorough review of airline chemtrails to…
Denny’s Announces Free Pancakes For Customers Who Take Fight Outside
Read MoreThe OnionSPARTANBURG, SC—Introducing a new promotion that will be available to both adults and children at its restaurants nationwide,…
Marvel Multiverse: So Easy, Even Your Grandma Can Understand It (Spoiler: She Won’t)
Hey, Marvel Zombies! 🧟♂️ Prepare to have your tiny minds blown! 🤯 Everything you *thought* you knew about the sacred…
Democrats Demand Common-Sense Prayer Control
WASHINGTON, D.C. — In a bold response to the recent shootings in left-leaning cities, Democratic leaders courageously stepped up to…
Trump Gives Swift and Kelce Two Weeks to Procreate: “We Must Make America Fertile Again!”
In an exclusive statement that shook the foundations of the civilized world and caused a sharp spike in Xanax prescriptions,…
Florida Orders Cities To Remove Rainbow Crosswalks
Read MoreThe OnionThe Florida Department of Transportation has ordered Miami Beach and at least eight other cities to remove rainbow-colored…