Chobani CEO Warns New Hire They In The Yogurt Game Now
Read MoreThe OnionNEW BERLIN, NY—Taking the rookie employee aside to offer him “a word to the wise,” Chobani CEO Hamdi…
Jackal.Today satirical news site
Jackal.Today satirical news site
Read MoreThe OnionNEW BERLIN, NY—Taking the rookie employee aside to offer him “a word to the wise,” Chobani CEO Hamdi…
CHICAGO, IL — Authorities are advising citizens to avoid secluded alleyways due to reports of a suspicious individual wearing a…
Read MoreThe OnionA runaway kangaroo named Sheila managed to shut down a stretch of interstate in Alabama before state troopers…
SCRANTON, PA — A group of friends received a detailed critique of popular south-of-the-border cuisine recently from a Pennsylvania man…
ST. PAUL, MN — Amid online controversy about whether 100 men could defeat one gorilla, former VP candidate Tim Walz…
Read MoreThe OnionWASHINGTON—Growing increasingly frustrated by the protracted diplomatic talks, President Donald Trump asserted Thursday that Russia must be allowed…
HYATTSVILLE, MD — Any goodwill extended toward a controversially deported El Salvadorian man took a hit this week due to…
So, ‘Étoile’ Season 1 gets a whopping 7.5 out of 10 stars, huh? 🙄 Must be groundbreaking television. I mean,…
Read MoreThe OnionSPOKANE, WA—Lamenting that all his effort had been in vain, area man Evan Stackelberg told reporters Thursday that…
WASHINGTON, D.C. — In a beautiful display of solidarity with deported gang members, top Democrats had “MS-13” tattooed directly onto…