Sound Of Husband Plopping Down On Couch Helpfully Reminds Wife There’s Something She Wanted Him To Do
TULSA, OK — Witnesses said local wife Danielle Matson perked up quickly after hearing the sound of her husband, Dave,…
Author: Finn
Finn McFrame, celebrated satirical mastermind and self-proclaimed "Emperor of Irony," started his illustrious career as a cinematographer, where his expertise in capturing every single frame of a squirrel stealing a baguette earned him accolades at obscure film festivals.
Born in the glamorous town of Boring, Oregon, Finn grew up with dreams of being a Hollywood director until he realized that satire, not cinema, was his true calling—or at least the one that let him sleep until noon.
Finn McFrame: changing the world, one satirical lens flare at a time.
Trump Gerrymanders U.S. To Include Canada
WASHINGTON, D.C. — The geopolitical balance of power appeared to experience a significant shift this week, as President Donald Trump…
New Death With Indignity Law Lets Terminally Ill Be Crushed By Falling Vending Machines
Read MoreThe OnionBOISE, ID—In what is being hailed as a victory for advocates of the right to end one’s life…
Man Would Be Awesome Dad If It Weren’t For These Rotten Kids
TREMONTON, UT — Local man Randy Carson encouraged himself this week upon realizing that he’d be the world’s most awesome…
Flour Sack Still Dealing With Trauma Of Being Raised By Single Teenage Mother
Read MoreThe OnionCLEVELAND—Revealing a vulnerable side while sharing the traumatic experience with a therapist, a 5-pound sack of flour confirmed…
The Cut: Orlando Bloom’s Boxing Comeback – Will He Knock Out His Career’s Failures Too
Oh, look, another movie about a boxer! 🙄 Because we haven’t seen, like, a million of those already. This one’s…
Historians Warn Hitler Also Once Stood On Roof
BERLIN — Following the unusual incident in which President Donald Trump was spotted taking a walk on top of the…
WNBA Warns If You Throw Anything On The Court, You Will Be Forced To Attend 10 More WNBA Games
NEW YORK, NY — In an effort to create a strong deterrent to anyone considering perpetrating any further incidents, the…
The Bee Explains: Gerrymandering
The American political scene, usually so tranquil and civil, has recently descended into turmoil over something called “gerrymandering.” Here is…
Uh-Oh: Trump Just Watched New ‘Superman’ And Now He’s On The Roof With A Red Blanket Tied Around His Neck
WASHINGTON, D.C. — Secret Service remain on full alert following an incident where President Trump saw the new Superman movie…