‘I Don’t Know Why They Call Me Hot Wheels,’ Thinks Governor Abbott While Launching Off G-Force Burnout Set Launcher Ramp
AUSTIN, TX — As he launched through the air off the G-Force Burnout Set Launcher Ramp, Governor Greg Abbott wondered…
Author: Finn
Finn McFrame, celebrated satirical mastermind and self-proclaimed "Emperor of Irony," started his illustrious career as a cinematographer, where his expertise in capturing every single frame of a squirrel stealing a baguette earned him accolades at obscure film festivals.
Born in the glamorous town of Boring, Oregon, Finn grew up with dreams of being a Hollywood director until he realized that satire, not cinema, was his true calling—or at least the one that let him sleep until noon.
Finn McFrame: changing the world, one satirical lens flare at a time.
Report: Anti-Science Attitude Strongest Among Those Who Believe Turtle Has Little Apartment Inside Shell
Read MoreThe OnionCHICAGO—Highlighting a rising distrust in evidence-based knowledge, a report published Wednesday in the American Journal Of Sociology found…
Jesus Calls On Followers To Eat Filet-O-Fish Sandwiches For 40 Days To Prepare For His Crucifixion
JERUSALEM — Sources close to the Son of God report that Jesus Christ has just called upon his followers to…
Darth Vader Accidentally Adds Admiral Ackbar To Holochat Planning Alderaan Bombing
MUSTAFAR — The Galactic Empire was forced into damage control mode this week after it was revealed that Darth Vader…
Trump Officials Accidentally Text Journalist War Plans
Read MoreThe OnionTop national security officials for President Donald Trump, including his defense secretary, texted war plans for upcoming military…
After Years of Debate, Theologians Now Agree That Lying To Your Dentist About Flossing Is Not A Sin
LOS ANGELES, CA — After years of fierce debate, theologians from all the major branches of Christianity have now come…
Disney Puts Rachel Zegler In The Vault
BURBANK, CA — Following the disastrous box office opening of Disney’s Snow White, actress Rachel Zegler has been stored in…
Democrats Estimate They Are Only One More Arson Away From Being Popular Again
U.S. — Despite record-low polling numbers among American voters, Democratic Party leaders were confident they could turn things around and…
Hims Announces Erections Will Soon Feature Ads
Read MoreThe OnionSAN FRANCISCO—Touting the move as a minimally intrusive and private way to keep its sexual health medications available…
Security Concerns As Trump Holds Strategy Meeting At Cracker Barrel
STERLING, VA — Critics of the Trump administration have raised security concerns due to Trump holding a high-level strategy meeting…