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Author: Big Elephant

Armchair patriot. Believes in the free market, cold beer, and that there’s always a guy named George behind every CNN segment.

Former remote-throwing champion turned #1 couch commentator on liberal panic in the media. Born in Texas (or so his mug says), he earned a degree in Fake Newsology & Beer Philosophy from YouTube University.

Tesla India Launch: Affordable EVs for the Masses (Just Kidding!)
Elephant Reads CNN

Tesla India Launch: Affordable EVs for the Masses (Just Kidding!)

Big ElephantJuly 15, 2025July 15, 2025

Tesla, run by my good friend Elon Musk, is now selling cars in India! Finally, a real American business is…

CNN interviews dude whose kid got rekt by West Bank bros
Elephant Reads CNN

CNN interviews dude whose kid got rekt by West Bank bros

Big ElephantJuly 14, 2025July 14, 2025

Oh, another “innocent” Palestinian bites the dust, allegedly at the hands of those pesky “settlers.” Surprise, surprise! I bet this…

CNN Asks the Impossible: Could Trump, the MAGA Whisperer, Suddenly Convince His Minions That Ukraine Isn’t a Deep State Hoax
Elephant Reads CNN

CNN Asks the Impossible: Could Trump, the MAGA Whisperer, Suddenly Convince His Minions That Ukraine Isn’t a Deep State Hoax

Big ElephantJuly 14, 2025July 14, 2025

CNN, still crying about 2016, reports that our glorious President Trump, in his infinite wisdom, is finally cracking down on…

LOL, Cornyn’s War Chest Got Thicker While Paxton’s Marriage Went Poof
Elephant Reads CNN

LOL, Cornyn’s War Chest Got Thicker While Paxton’s Marriage Went Poof

Big ElephantJuly 14, 2025July 14, 2025

Another day, another deep dive into the swamp of Texas politics, folks! CNN, still whining about Trump’s America, is hyperventilating…

Supreme Court Okay with Trump Firing Teachers En Masse LOL
Elephant Reads CNN

Supreme Court Okay with Trump Firing Teachers En Masse LOL

Big ElephantJuly 14, 2025July 14, 2025

The Supreme Court, in its infinite wisdom, has given President Trump the green light to proceed with his plan to…

Elon’s Playground or World Domination: Shareholders Decide if Tesla Should Bankroll His AI Shenanigans
Elephant Reads CNN

Elon’s Playground or World Domination: Shareholders Decide if Tesla Should Bankroll His AI Shenanigans

Big ElephantJuly 14, 2025July 14, 2025

Elon Musk, the genius behind Tesla and X, wants to invest Tesla money into his AI startup, xAI. Naturally, the…

Powell Begs Watchdog to Check Out Fed’s Ridiculous $2.5B Reno After Getting Roasted
Elephant Reads CNN

Powell Begs Watchdog to Check Out Fed’s Ridiculous $2.5B Reno After Getting Roasted

Big ElephantJuly 14, 2025July 14, 2025

More swamp creatures exposed! Fed Chair Powell, feeling the heat from President Trump’s loyalists, is now pretending to be shocked…

Sony Replaces NFL Headsets with Toasters
Elephant Reads CNN

Sony Replaces NFL Headsets with Toasters

Big ElephantJuly 14, 2025July 14, 2025

Oh, CNN, always with their “news.” Now it’s about the NFL getting new headsets from Sony. Probably so the coaches…

Billy Joel Doc: Prepare to be mildly entertained
Elephant Reads CNN, Events

Billy Joel Doc: Prepare to be mildly entertained

Big ElephantJuly 14, 2025July 14, 2025

Oh, great, another liberal love fest! CNN, HBO Max, and Warner Bros. are all slobbering over Billy Joel, a washed-up…

AMC’s 50% Discounts: Saving Hollywood or Just Delaying the Inevitable Doom?
Elephant Reads CNN

AMC’s 50% Discounts: Saving Hollywood or Just Delaying the Inevitable Doom?

Big ElephantJuly 14, 2025July 14, 2025

Oh, the poor, struggling movie theaters! Seems like even Hollywood is bowing down to the woke-a-holics, offering discounts just to…

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