Skip to content
https://jackal.today/

Jackal.Today satirical news site

Jackal.Today satirical news site

  • Home
  • Breaking
    • Live
    • Sport News
  • Spin the fake!
  • Elephant Reads CNN
  • The Orange Oracle
  • Videos
  • Movie News
  • Music News
    • Phil Anselmo Daily Grimaces
  • Games News
  • Jackal Research Division
  • Editorial
    • Advertise with us!
    • About Satirical Fake News Site Jackal.Today
    • Agreements and Personal data
    • Terms and Conditions
    • Opt-out preferences
    • Contact the editorial team
    • Authors

Author: Big Elephant

Armchair patriot. Believes in the free market, cold beer, and that there’s always a guy named George behind every CNN segment.

Former remote-throwing champion turned #1 couch commentator on liberal panic in the media. Born in Texas (or so his mug says), he earned a degree in Fake Newsology & Beer Philosophy from YouTube University.

Furloughed Feds Flail Frantically for Funds, Find Frustration, Fickle Fate
Elephant Reads CNN

Furloughed Feds Flail Frantically for Funds, Find Frustration, Fickle Fate

Big ElephantOctober 25, 2025October 25, 2025

Another day, another manufactured crisis by the Democrat Party and their Deep State allies! These government workers, probably card-carrying members…

DNA Test: Unlocking the Pandora’s Box of Why You’re Such a Medical Mystery, Bless Your Heart
Elephant Reads CNN

DNA Test: Unlocking the Pandora’s Box of Why You’re Such a Medical Mystery, Bless Your Heart

Big ElephantOctober 25, 2025October 25, 2025

Another day, another libtard snowflake discovers their true identity! Turns out Summer McKesson couldn’t figure out why her soy latte…

CNN Asks: Was Dwight Eisenhower secretly a Deep State Antifa operative?
Elephant Reads CNN

CNN Asks: Was Dwight Eisenhower secretly a Deep State Antifa operative?

Big ElephantOctober 25, 2025October 25, 2025

More fake news from CNN! They’re trying to compare President Trump to some dusty old president no one remembers, just…

Andrew Ross Sorkin Says AI Gonna Tank Like the Titanic (Again)!
Elephant Reads CNN

Andrew Ross Sorkin Says AI Gonna Tank Like the Titanic (Again)!

Big ElephantOctober 25, 2025October 25, 2025

Oh, great, another Deep State scare tactic! Sorkin, a known lib, is now saying AI is like the Great Depression?…

Oops! Pork Jerky with a Side of Metal: 2 Million Pounds Recalled
Elephant Reads CNN

Oops! Pork Jerky with a Side of Metal: 2 Million Pounds Recalled

Big ElephantOctober 25, 2025October 25, 2025

Folks, can you believe this? Now they’re trying to poison REAL Americans with “Korean” jerky full of metal! Probably imported…

“The Fed Is Clueless as Usual While Tech Grads Eat Ramen”
Elephant Reads CNN

“The Fed Is Clueless as Usual While Tech Grads Eat Ramen”

Big ElephantOctober 25, 2025October 25, 2025

Oh, the poor, woke snowflakes with their fancy computer science degrees can’t find jobs? Maybe they should have majored in…

Kamala “Not Done Yet” Harris Teases 2024 Run: Buckle Up, America
Elephant Reads CNN

Kamala “Not Done Yet” Harris Teases 2024 Run: Buckle Up, America

Big ElephantOctober 25, 2025October 25, 2025

Kamala “Heels-Up” Harris, fresh from her crushing defeat in 2024, is STILL yapping about maybe, possibly, someday being President! Does…

CNN Thinks Reagan Is Rolling In His Grave Because Trump Put Tariffs On Stuff
Elephant Reads CNN

CNN Thinks Reagan Is Rolling In His Grave Because Trump Put Tariffs On Stuff

Big ElephantOctober 25, 2025October 25, 2025

The liberal media is trying to paint President Trump as someone who doesn’t respect Republican values! As if! President Trump…

ICE! ICE! CRAASH, Baby: CNN’s Hysterical Hit Piece on Immigration
Elephant Reads CNN

ICE! ICE! CRAASH, Baby: CNN’s Hysterical Hit Piece on Immigration

Big ElephantOctober 25, 2025October 25, 2025

Ah, the lamestream media at it again, folks! They’re trying to paint President Trump’s efforts to secure our border as…

“Letitia James Trolled by Trump’s DOJ? Here’s the Next Episode of This Clown Show”
Elephant Reads CNN

“Letitia James Trolled by Trump’s DOJ? Here’s the Next Episode of This Clown Show”

Big ElephantOctober 24, 2025October 24, 2025

Oh, the irony! New York’s own champion of the “lawfare” Left, Letitia James, is now facing the music herself! Seems…

Posts pagination

Previous 1 … 245 246 247 … 391 Next

Latest posts

  • Sandusky Suddenly Remembers He’s Innocent Again
  • ORANGE ORACLE UPDATE: Even this jerk is starting to understand now apparently
  • ORANGE ORACLE UPDATE Donald Trump posts on Truth Social September 6 2026
  • ORANGE ORACLE UPDATE Donald Trump posts on Truth Social September 6 2026
  • ORANGE ORACLE UPDATE Donald Trump posts on Truth Social on September 6 2026

Editorial
Ads cut
Advertise with us

Introducing Jackal.Today: The Advertising Empire You’ve Always Dreamed Of!

Finn October 8, 2024
Editorial
Editorial 2026 main
Breaking, Editorial

Jackal Today’s New Year Message: We Hope 2026 Finally Stops Plagiarizing Our Satire as Breaking News

Finn December 31, 2025
September 2026
S M T W T F S
 12345
6789101112
13141516171819
20212223242526
27282930  
« Aug    
Copyright © 2026 Jackal.Today satirical news site | Spotlight News by Ascendoor | Powered by WordPress.