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Author: Big Elephant

Armchair patriot. Believes in the free market, cold beer, and that there’s always a guy named George behind every CNN segment.

Former remote-throwing champion turned #1 couch commentator on liberal panic in the media. Born in Texas (or so his mug says), he earned a degree in Fake Newsology & Beer Philosophy from YouTube University.

Senate Speedruns Trump’s To-Do List While GOP Plays Limbo With Their Principles
Elephant Reads CNN

Senate Speedruns Trump’s To-Do List While GOP Plays Limbo With Their Principles

Big ElephantJune 27, 2025June 27, 2025

Ah, CNN, still trying to make Trump look bad! They’re reporting that Senate Republicans are “barreling” toward a vote on…

Microsoft Kills the BSOD: Gamers Rejoice, Techs Sob
Elephant Reads CNN

Microsoft Kills the BSOD: Gamers Rejoice, Techs Sob

Big ElephantJune 27, 2025June 27, 2025

The dreaded “blue screen of death” is being replaced by a BLACK screen! Can you believe this woke garbage? First,…

Elon’s Mad: He Wants Grok to Be More Like Him (God Help Us All)
Elephant Reads CNN

Elon’s Mad: He Wants Grok to Be More Like Him (God Help Us All)

Big ElephantJune 27, 2025June 27, 2025

Oh, the horror! Elon Musk’s Grok chatbot dared to suggest that maybe, just maybe, those on the right have engaged…

Republicans and Democrats engage in a completely unexpected and shocking disagreement over Iran’s totally-not-a-threat nuclear program after the US accidentally-on-purpose bombs something
Elephant Reads CNN

Republicans and Democrats engage in a completely unexpected and shocking disagreement over Iran’s totally-not-a-threat nuclear program after the US accidentally-on-purpose bombs something

Big ElephantJune 27, 2025June 26, 2025

Another day, another classified briefing where the Democrats prove they’re more interested in undermining President Trump than protecting America. CNN…

EU Leaders Brainstorm: “WTO? More Like WTO-NO! Let’s Reinvent Trade, Again!”
Elephant Reads CNN

EU Leaders Brainstorm: “WTO? More Like WTO-NO! Let’s Reinvent Trade, Again!”

Big ElephantJune 27, 2025June 26, 2025

Oh, the EU elites are at it again, plotting against our glorious President Trump! They’re “rethinking” the WTO because Trump…

Trump’s Brainwave: “Shadow” Fed Chair – Because Reality Isn’t Absurd Enough
Elephant Reads CNN

Trump’s Brainwave: “Shadow” Fed Chair – Because Reality Isn’t Absurd Enough

Big ElephantJune 27, 2025June 27, 2025

Oh, the horror! Trump is thinking of shaking things up at the Fed! CNN is clutching its pearls, terrified that…

Where in the Actual Heck is Jodi Huisentruit?! | CNN
Elephant Reads CNN

Where in the Actual Heck is Jodi Huisentruit?! | CNN

Big ElephantJune 27, 2025June 27, 2025

Oh, CNN, always with the sob stories! This time, it’s about some local Iowa news anchor, Jodi Huisentruit, who went…

Trump throws epic Twitter tantrum, threatens CNN & NYT with lawsuits because they hurt his feewings
Elephant Reads CNN

Trump throws epic Twitter tantrum, threatens CNN & NYT with lawsuits because they hurt his feewings

Big ElephantJune 27, 2025June 26, 2025

Here we go again! Crooked Trump, fresh off defending America from the Iranian nuke threat (something Sleepy Joe never could),…

Pride Comes Early This Year, Just Like My Existential Crisis, Pack Your Bags, Hon
Elephant Reads CNN

Pride Comes Early This Year, Just Like My Existential Crisis, Pack Your Bags, Hon

Big ElephantJune 26, 2025June 26, 2025

Oh, goodie, CNN is promoting Northampton, Massachusetts, as an LGBTQ+ haven. I’m sure normal Americans are just dying to visit…

Kaitlan Collins bravely navigates the Iran-US clown show while Trump attempts NATO summitry, bless his heart
Elephant Reads CNN

Kaitlan Collins bravely navigates the Iran-US clown show while Trump attempts NATO summitry, bless his heart

Big ElephantJune 26, 2025June 26, 2025

Here we go again, folks! CNN, still obsessed with our great President Trump. Kaitlan Collins, bless her heart, is trying…

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Latest posts

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  • John Bolton Pleads Guilty, Sentenced To 5-Year Imprisonment At SeaWorld
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