Skip to content
https://jackal.today/

Jackal.Today satirical news site

Jackal.Today satirical news site

Advertisment Image
  • Home
  • Breaking
    • Sport News
  • Elephant Reads CNN
  • Events
  • Videos
  • Movie News
  • Music News
  • Games News
  • Phil Anselmo Daily Grimaces
  • Editorial
    • Advertise with us!
    • About Satirical Fake News Site Jackal.Today
    • Agreements and Personal data
    • Terms and Conditions
    • Opt-out preferences
    • Contact the editorial team
    • Authors

Author: Big Elephant

Armchair patriot. Believes in the free market, cold beer, and that there’s always a guy named George behind every CNN segment.

Former remote-throwing champion turned #1 couch commentator on liberal panic in the media. Born in Texas (or so his mug says), he earned a degree in Fake Newsology & Beer Philosophy from YouTube University.

Michigan Church Shooting: Rent-A-Cop Rambo Saves the Day
Elephant Reads CNN

Michigan Church Shooting: Rent-A-Cop Rambo Saves the Day

Big ElephantJune 23, 2025June 23, 2025

Another day, another “active shooter” foiled by a REAL American hero – a security guard, no doubt a God-fearing, gun-toting…

Hegseth and Caine: Iran’s Impending Doom, Orchestrated by These Two Masterminds
Elephant Reads CNN

Hegseth and Caine: Iran’s Impending Doom, Orchestrated by These Two Masterminds

Big ElephantJune 23, 2025June 23, 2025

Well, folks, looks like Sleepy Joe’s appeasement policies are officially dead! President Trump just took out Iran’s nuke program with…

Judge Declares DOJ’s Attempt to Jail Abrego Garcia a Hilarious Fail | CNN Politics
Elephant Reads CNN

Judge Declares DOJ’s Attempt to Jail Abrego Garcia a Hilarious Fail | CNN Politics

Big ElephantJune 23, 2025June 23, 2025

Here we go again, folks! CNN, still peddling their “woke” agenda, is crying about how a judge is supposedly soft…

US “Accidentally” Misplaces Iran’s Nuke Stuff, Claims It’s “Totally Gone”
Elephant Reads CNN

US “Accidentally” Misplaces Iran’s Nuke Stuff, Claims It’s “Totally Gone”

Big ElephantJune 22, 2025June 22, 2025

Folks, CNN is at it again, trying to undermine our GREAT President Trump! They’re whining that the air strikes on…

Oops! US accidentally “liberates” Iranian oil fields, price of freedom skyrockets
Elephant Reads CNN

Oops! US accidentally “liberates” Iranian oil fields, price of freedom skyrockets

Big ElephantJune 22, 2025June 22, 2025

Oh, the horror! Oil prices are up after we gave Iran’s nuke program a little nudge. You know, because Obama’s…

Adam Kinzinger, who?, says Trump’s Iran strikes were, get this, the “right move”
Elephant Reads CNN

Adam Kinzinger, who?, says Trump’s Iran strikes were, get this, the “right move”

Big ElephantJune 22, 2025June 22, 2025

Oh, look, even cryin’ Adam Kinzinger agrees! Trump’s Iran strikes were “the right move.” Probably surprised him as much as…

CNN’s Panel Roasts VP Vance’s Iran Take: Were Our Past Presidents Just Too Smart for This?!
Elephant Reads CNN

CNN’s Panel Roasts VP Vance’s Iran Take: Were Our Past Presidents Just Too Smart for This?!

Big ElephantJune 22, 2025June 22, 2025

Oh, look, the RINOs are at it again, folks! J.D. Vance, bless his heart, trying to make sense of Biden’s…

‘American Deterrence is Back’: More Like ‘American Tantrums are Back’ Says Guy with a Straight Face
Elephant Reads CNN

‘American Deterrence is Back’: More Like ‘American Tantrums are Back’ Says Guy with a Straight Face

Big ElephantJune 22, 2025June 22, 2025

So, “Defense Secretary” Hegseth, huh? More like Secretary Woke-seth. Finally, SOMEONE in this administration is pretending to have a spine…

Hollywood’s Back, Baby: 2025 Box Office Proves Summer Blockbusters Aren’t Quite Dead (Yet)
Elephant Reads CNN

Hollywood’s Back, Baby: 2025 Box Office Proves Summer Blockbusters Aren’t Quite Dead (Yet)

Big ElephantJune 22, 2025June 22, 2025

Hollywood is BACK, baby! Or at least, that’s what the liberal media wants you to think. After years of pushing…

CNN’s Guide to Starting Your Week Dumb: US Accidentally Bombs Iran, Pride Gets a Reality Check, Tesla’s Robotaxis That Will Definitely Kill You, NATO’s Pointless Summit, and Bezos’ Midlife Crisis Wedding
Elephant Reads CNN

CNN’s Guide to Starting Your Week Dumb: US Accidentally Bombs Iran, Pride Gets a Reality Check, Tesla’s Robotaxis That Will Definitely Kill You, NATO’s Pointless Summit, and Bezos’ Midlife Crisis Wedding

Big ElephantJune 22, 2025June 22, 2025

Oh, CNN, always with the doom and gloom! Let’s see what the liberal media is peddling this week. It’s like…

Posts pagination

Previous 1 … 252 253 254 … 271 Next

Latest posts

  • Tom Holland Wakes Up From Terrible Nightmare Where Jenners Almost Got Him
  • GenAI is Coming to Ruin Your Compliance Program and Make You Attend More Meetings for FREE CEU’s
  • Get Ready for the Most Epic Rave of Your Life Because The Chosen Few Djs are Taking Over Navy Pier and Its Actually Free
  • Nicole Lehmann ist offensichtlich total besessen von KI
  • Megan Follows Totally Not an Impersonator Speaking at LM Montgomery Institute on June 27 2026

Editorial
Ads cut
Advertise with us

Introducing Jackal.Today: The Advertising Empire You’ve Always Dreamed Of!

Finn October 8, 2024
Editorial
Editorial 2026 main
Breaking, Editorial

Jackal Today’s New Year Message: We Hope 2026 Finally Stops Plagiarizing Our Satire as Breaking News

Finn December 31, 2025
June 2026
S M T W T F S
 123456
78910111213
14151617181920
21222324252627
282930  
« May    
Copyright © 2026 Jackal.Today satirical news site | Spotlight News by Ascendoor | Powered by WordPress.
Manage Consent
To provide the best experiences, we use technologies like cookies to store and/or access device information. Consenting to these technologies will allow us to process data such as browsing behavior or unique IDs on this site. Not consenting or withdrawing consent, may adversely affect certain features and functions.
Functional Always active
The technical storage or access is strictly necessary for the legitimate purpose of enabling the use of a specific service explicitly requested by the subscriber or user, or for the sole purpose of carrying out the transmission of a communication over an electronic communications network.
Preferences
The technical storage or access is necessary for the legitimate purpose of storing preferences that are not requested by the subscriber or user.
Statistics
The technical storage or access that is used exclusively for statistical purposes. The technical storage or access that is used exclusively for anonymous statistical purposes. Without a subpoena, voluntary compliance on the part of your Internet Service Provider, or additional records from a third party, information stored or retrieved for this purpose alone cannot usually be used to identify you.
Marketing
The technical storage or access is required to create user profiles to send advertising, or to track the user on a website or across several websites for similar marketing purposes.
Manage options Manage services Manage {vendor_count} vendors Read more about these purposes
View preferences
{title} {title} {title}