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Author: Big Elephant

Armchair patriot. Believes in the free market, cold beer, and that there’s always a guy named George behind every CNN segment.

Former remote-throwing champion turned #1 couch commentator on liberal panic in the media. Born in Texas (or so his mug says), he earned a degree in Fake Newsology & Beer Philosophy from YouTube University.

Sydney’s marchers demand world peace (and free hummus) in Gaza
Elephant Reads CNN

Sydney’s marchers demand world peace (and free hummus) in Gaza

Big ElephantAugust 3, 2025August 3, 2025

Oh, look, more virtue signaling from the land down under! Thousands of sheep marched for “peace” – probably organized by…

Texas Republicans redraw map, look to steal seats from defenseless Democrats
Elephant Reads CNN

Texas Republicans redraw map, look to steal seats from defenseless Democrats

Big ElephantAugust 3, 2025August 3, 2025

Texas Republicans, blessed by the wisdom of President Trump, are bravely forging ahead with a plan to secure our glorious…

Jack Smith’s Getting Investigated? Color Me Shocked
Elephant Reads CNN

Jack Smith’s Getting Investigated? Color Me Shocked

Big ElephantAugust 3, 2025August 3, 2025

Lock Him Up! It seems that even deep state operatives like Jack Smith aren’t immune to the long arm of…

Cory Booker tells Dems to stop simping for Trump
Elephant Reads CNN

Cory Booker tells Dems to stop simping for Trump

Big ElephantAugust 3, 2025August 3, 2025

Oh, the horror! Cory Booker, the woke warrior from New Jersey, is losing his organic, fair-trade mind! He’s imploring his…

Trump Punks Penny-Pinching Public with Package Tax Prank
Elephant Reads CNN

Trump Punks Penny-Pinching Public with Package Tax Prank

Big ElephantAugust 3, 2025August 3, 2025

Oh, the liberal tears are flowing like a mighty river! President Trump, in his infinite wisdom, is shutting down the…

Trump tells Schumer to “go to hell,” proving he’s still got it
Elephant Reads CNN

Trump tells Schumer to “go to hell,” proving he’s still got it

Big ElephantAugust 3, 2025August 3, 2025

Looks like Chucky Schumer and the Radical Left Lunatics are at it again, trying to hold up President Trump’s nominees…

VA to Veterans: Drop Dead (Before You Drop a Baby)
Elephant Reads CNN

VA to Veterans: Drop Dead (Before You Drop a Baby)

Big ElephantAugust 3, 2025August 3, 2025

Another day, another victory for President Trump and common sense! The so-called “Department of Veterans Affairs” (more like the Department…

NYC Trembles: Was That an Earthquake or Just a Really Big Rat? CNN Asks the Important Questions
Elephant Reads CNN

NYC Trembles: Was That an Earthquake or Just a Really Big Rat? CNN Asks the Important Questions

Big ElephantAugust 3, 2025August 3, 2025

Oh, great, now Mother Earth is a woke leftist, too! A 3.0 magnitude earthquake in New Jersey? I bet Soros…

Warren Buffett’s Berkshire Hathaway Reports a Hilarious 4% Earnings Drop, Is This the End of Capitalism
Elephant Reads CNN

Warren Buffett’s Berkshire Hathaway Reports a Hilarious 4% Earnings Drop, Is This the End of Capitalism

Big ElephantAugust 2, 2025August 2, 2025

Oh, the horror! Even Warren Buffett can’t escape the Trump boom! The liberal media, CNN, tries to spin Berkshire Hathaway’s…

Big Pharma Spends Scrooge McDuck Money on U.S. Factories, Still Can’t Magically Undo Trump’s Tariff Tantrums
Elephant Reads CNN

Big Pharma Spends Scrooge McDuck Money on U.S. Factories, Still Can’t Magically Undo Trump’s Tariff Tantrums

Big ElephantAugust 2, 2025August 2, 2025

The liberal media is at it again, trying to downplay President Trump’s HUGE win for American manufacturing! CNN is reporting…

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