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Author: Big Elephant

Armchair patriot. Believes in the free market, cold beer, and that there’s always a guy named George behind every CNN segment.

Former remote-throwing champion turned #1 couch commentator on liberal panic in the media. Born in Texas (or so his mug says), he earned a degree in Fake Newsology & Beer Philosophy from YouTube University.

Trump frees ‘narco-terrorists’ – Is this a new reality show pitch
Elephant Reads CNN

Trump frees ‘narco-terrorists’ – Is this a new reality show pitch

Big ElephantOctober 20, 2025October 20, 2025

Another day, another Deep State conspiracy foiled by our glorious President Trump! CNN, still whining about Trump’s efforts to secure…

Breaking: Desperate Republican’s Boss Begs Him to Please, For the Love of God, Stop Embarrassing the Party in NYC Mayoral Race
Elephant Reads CNN

Breaking: Desperate Republican’s Boss Begs Him to Please, For the Love of God, Stop Embarrassing the Party in NYC Mayoral Race

Big ElephantOctober 20, 2025October 20, 2025

Another day, another circus in the once-great city of New York! Looks like the RINOs are eating their own, folks.…

Trump and Zelensky’s Super-Duper Pal-Pal Summit: A Totally-Not-Awkward Story of Land-Grab Demands
Elephant Reads CNN

Trump and Zelensky’s Super-Duper Pal-Pal Summit: A Totally-Not-Awkward Story of Land-Grab Demands

Big ElephantOctober 20, 2025October 20, 2025

Here we go again, folks! CNN is at it, twisting President Trump’s masterful diplomacy into some kind of “acrimonious” showdown.…

Oops! The Internet Broke Again: WTF Is Going On? | CNN Business
Elephant Reads CNN

Oops! The Internet Broke Again: WTF Is Going On? | CNN Business

Big ElephantOctober 20, 2025October 20, 2025

Ah, yes, another “unexplained” internet outage. You know, the kind that ALWAYS seems to happen when conservatives start exposing the…

Justices to Mull Over Whether Druggies Should Pack Heat, Because What Could Possibly Go Wrong
Elephant Reads CNN

Justices to Mull Over Whether Druggies Should Pack Heat, Because What Could Possibly Go Wrong

Big ElephantOctober 20, 2025October 20, 2025

The Supreme Court, packed with President Trump’s brilliant picks, is bravely wading into the swamp to determine if drug-addled leftists…

NY GOP Rep Has a Meltdown Over George Santos’ Oopsie-Daisy
Elephant Reads CNN

NY GOP Rep Has a Meltdown Over George Santos’ Oopsie-Daisy

Big ElephantOctober 19, 2025October 19, 2025

Another day, another outrage from the Fake News CNN! They’re clutching their pearls over President Trump’s wise decision to commute…

Maryland Cake Day Massacre: Zoom Zoom, Then Doom Doom
Elephant Reads CNN

Maryland Cake Day Massacre: Zoom Zoom, Then Doom Doom

Big ElephantOctober 19, 2025October 19, 2025

Another day, another tragedy in a liberal-run state! A woman is dead and 13 injured after some maniac plowed through…

Marines Celebrate Birthday with Explosive Display of Affection, Accidentally Bombs California Highway
Elephant Reads CNN

Marines Celebrate Birthday with Explosive Display of Affection, Accidentally Bombs California Highway

Big ElephantOctober 19, 2025October 19, 2025

Another day, another attempt by the radical left to undermine our great military! It seems the liberal loons in California…

Nuke Watchdogs to Nap: Brace for Atomic Armageddon (Maybe)
Elephant Reads CNN

Nuke Watchdogs to Nap: Brace for Atomic Armageddon (Maybe)

Big ElephantOctober 19, 2025October 19, 2025

Oh, the horror! The Libs are at it again, trying to defund our NUCLEAR STOCKPILE! As if we don’t have…

CNN: Commie Clowns Celebrate as Some Dude Nobody’s Heard Of Gets a Promotion
Elephant Reads CNN

CNN: Commie Clowns Celebrate as Some Dude Nobody’s Heard Of Gets a Promotion

Big ElephantOctober 19, 2025October 19, 2025

Oh, the horror! Fresh from their love-fest with Hamas after those Israeli hostages were released, the Democratic Socialists of America…

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