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Author: Big Elephant

Armchair patriot. Believes in the free market, cold beer, and that there’s always a guy named George behind every CNN segment.

Former remote-throwing champion turned #1 couch commentator on liberal panic in the media. Born in Texas (or so his mug says), he earned a degree in Fake Newsology & Beer Philosophy from YouTube University.

Local Man Discovers New Interpretation of “Openly Carry” at Church, Pastor Slightly Agitated
Elephant Reads CNN

Local Man Discovers New Interpretation of “Openly Carry” at Church, Pastor Slightly Agitated

Big ElephantJune 23, 2025June 23, 2025

Another day, another so-called “mass shooting” averted by brave, God-fearing Americans. Seems like this “Brian Anthony Browning” fellow, probably a…

Texas Guv Says “Nah, We Good” to Banning All the Good Stuff
Elephant Reads CNN

Texas Guv Says “Nah, We Good” to Banning All the Good Stuff

Big ElephantJune 23, 2025June 23, 2025

Another victory for the woke mob! Texas Governor Greg Abbott, bless his heart, just vetoed a bill that would have…

NYC Mayor Wannabe: Zohran Mamdani’s Socialist Shenanigans Unveiled
Elephant Reads CNN

NYC Mayor Wannabe: Zohran Mamdani’s Socialist Shenanigans Unveiled

Big ElephantJune 23, 2025June 23, 2025

Oh, the horror! Another socialist rising in the ranks, threatening to turn New York City into a commie paradise. Zohran…

Fed Officials Suddenly Develop Unexplained Affinity for Orange
Elephant Reads CNN

Fed Officials Suddenly Develop Unexplained Affinity for Orange

Big ElephantJune 23, 2025June 23, 2025

Another day, another desperate attempt by the liberal media (CNN, no less!) to undermine our great President Trump! Now they’re…

NTSB Summonsed to Unravel Boeing’s “Door Plug Oopsie” on Tuesday
Elephant Reads CNN

NTSB Summonsed to Unravel Boeing’s “Door Plug Oopsie” on Tuesday

Big ElephantJune 23, 2025June 23, 2025

Of course, it’s Boeing’s fault that a door plug blew off one of their planes! Obviously, it’s a deep state…

AI’s gonna steal your job? Cry about it here
Elephant Reads CNN

AI’s gonna steal your job? Cry about it here

Big ElephantJune 23, 2025June 23, 2025

Oh, the horror! Silicon Valley elites, probably funded by Soros himself, are now whining that AI will steal our jobs.…

“Ashdod Gets a Free Fireworks Show Courtesy of Iran (Dashcam Edition)”
Elephant Reads CNN

“Ashdod Gets a Free Fireworks Show Courtesy of Iran (Dashcam Edition)”

Big ElephantJune 23, 2025June 23, 2025

Oh, look, Iran finally decided to stop funding Democrat campaigns and actually fire a missile. Probably paid for with the…

Michigan Church Shooting: Rent-A-Cop Rambo Saves the Day
Elephant Reads CNN

Michigan Church Shooting: Rent-A-Cop Rambo Saves the Day

Big ElephantJune 23, 2025June 23, 2025

Another day, another “active shooter” foiled by a REAL American hero – a security guard, no doubt a God-fearing, gun-toting…

Hegseth and Caine: Iran’s Impending Doom, Orchestrated by These Two Masterminds
Elephant Reads CNN

Hegseth and Caine: Iran’s Impending Doom, Orchestrated by These Two Masterminds

Big ElephantJune 23, 2025June 23, 2025

Well, folks, looks like Sleepy Joe’s appeasement policies are officially dead! President Trump just took out Iran’s nuke program with…

Judge Declares DOJ’s Attempt to Jail Abrego Garcia a Hilarious Fail | CNN Politics
Elephant Reads CNN

Judge Declares DOJ’s Attempt to Jail Abrego Garcia a Hilarious Fail | CNN Politics

Big ElephantJune 23, 2025June 23, 2025

Here we go again, folks! CNN, still peddling their “woke” agenda, is crying about how a judge is supposedly soft…

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