Skip to content
https://jackal.today/

Jackal.Today satirical news site

Jackal.Today satirical news site

Advertisment Image
  • Home
  • Breaking
    • Sport News
  • Elephant Reads CNN
  • Events
  • Videos
  • Movie News
  • Music News
  • Games News
  • Phil Anselmo Daily Grimaces
  • Editorial
    • Advertise with us!
    • About Satirical Fake News Site Jackal.Today
    • Agreements and Personal data
    • Terms and Conditions
    • Opt-out preferences
    • Contact the editorial team
    • Authors

Author: Big Elephant

Armchair patriot. Believes in the free market, cold beer, and that there’s always a guy named George behind every CNN segment.

Former remote-throwing champion turned #1 couch commentator on liberal panic in the media. Born in Texas (or so his mug says), he earned a degree in Fake Newsology & Beer Philosophy from YouTube University.

Iran’s Super-Secret Nuclear Hideout: The Place Israel Totally Doesn’t Know About
Elephant Reads CNN

Iran’s Super-Secret Nuclear Hideout: The Place Israel Totally Doesn’t Know About

Big ElephantJune 16, 2025June 16, 2025

Oh, CNN, always the drama queens! “Hidden 90 meters underground”? Sounds like my basement when Hillary’s emails went missing. This…

Judge Jeanine “Lock Her Up” Pirro Now Threatens to “Lock THEM Up”
Elephant Reads CNN

Judge Jeanine “Lock Her Up” Pirro Now Threatens to “Lock THEM Up”

Big ElephantJune 16, 2025June 16, 2025

Oh, CNN is at it again, folks! Now they’re whining about Jeanine Pirro, our fearless, truth-telling queen, daring to be…

Mike Lee and the GOP Clown Posse Do the Hokey Pokey With Baseless Claims About Political Violence (Again!)
Elephant Reads CNN

Mike Lee and the GOP Clown Posse Do the Hokey Pokey With Baseless Claims About Political Violence (Again!)

Big ElephantJune 16, 2025June 16, 2025

Oh, the liberal media is at it again, folks! CNN, the champion of fake news, is clutching its pearls over…

Uzum Cofounder Explains How His Company Digitally Solves Problems for 17 Million Users (They Probably Don’t Have) | CNN
Elephant Reads CNN

Uzum Cofounder Explains How His Company Digitally Solves Problems for 17 Million Users (They Probably Don’t Have) | CNN

Big ElephantJune 16, 2025June 16, 2025

Oh, goodie, the UK and EU are holding hands again! Sir Simon Fraser (probably a descendant of that virtue-signaling traitor,…

Trump throws a hissy fit because his BFF Russia got booted from the G7 crybaby club
Elephant Reads CNN

Trump throws a hissy fit because his BFF Russia got booted from the G7 crybaby club

Big ElephantJune 16, 2025June 16, 2025

Oh, no! Not Trump wanting Russia back in the G7! The horror! Can you believe this guy? Probably wants to…

Richard Quest’s Hot Take: Uzbekistan’s Economy Might Slightly Frown Because of, You Know, Stuff
Elephant Reads CNN

Richard Quest’s Hot Take: Uzbekistan’s Economy Might Slightly Frown Because of, You Know, Stuff

Big ElephantJune 16, 2025June 16, 2025

Oh, CNN is now worried about Uzbekistan? I bet they are! Probably because Biden’s policies have made our economy so…

Samsung’s Geriatric Games: Competing with Apple Watch in the “Still Alive?” Department
Elephant Reads CNN

Samsung’s Geriatric Games: Competing with Apple Watch in the “Still Alive?” Department

Big ElephantJune 16, 2025June 16, 2025

Ah, CNN, still peddling the fear and pushing for more surveillance, I see. Now Samsung wants to track your every…

CNN: Tehran Residents Report Imaginary Israeli Airstrikes as They Flee the City Like Cowards
Elephant Reads CNN

CNN: Tehran Residents Report Imaginary Israeli Airstrikes as They Flee the City Like Cowards

Big ElephantJune 16, 2025June 16, 2025

More like a family whose terrorist training camp got a little redecorating, courtesy of our awesome allies in Israel! Woke…

Trump’s ICE Agents to Make Democrats’ Cities Great Again Through Deportation, Says CNN Politics (Satire Alert)
Elephant Reads CNN

Trump’s ICE Agents to Make Democrats’ Cities Great Again Through Deportation, Says CNN Politics (Satire Alert)

Big ElephantJune 16, 2025June 16, 2025

CNN is at it again, folks! They’re twisting the words of our great President Trump to make it sound like…

Ed Sheeran’s “Thinking Out Loud” Copyright Case Gets Dumped by Supreme Court, Guess They Couldn’t Handle the Groove
Elephant Reads CNN

Ed Sheeran’s “Thinking Out Loud” Copyright Case Gets Dumped by Supreme Court, Guess They Couldn’t Handle the Groove

Big ElephantJune 16, 2025June 16, 2025

Oh, the Supreme Court REFUSES to hear a case about Ed Sheeran ripping off Marvin Gaye? Quelle surprise! Probably because…

Posts pagination

Previous 1 … 260 261 262 … 268 Next

Latest posts

  • Tekken 8 Now Ruined by Yujiro Hanma from Baki Because Who Needs Actual Tekken Characters Anyway and Also Harada Still Can’t Get Over His Waffle House Trauma
  • SEVENDUST’s LAJON WITHERSPOON Reveals Shocking Truth: We’re All Just A Bunch Of Equally Important Dudes With Beards And Guitar Riffs Who Can’t Decide On Anything
  • Simplification des Réglementations et de la Fiscalité pour les Gens qui Aiment se Faire Mal au Cerveau avec des Tas de Papierasserie
  • Dying Fetus at Maryland Deathfest 2026 (05/24/2026, Day 4)
  • Cephalic Carnage at Maryland Deathfest 2026 (05/24/2026, Day 4)

Editorial
Ads cut
Advertise with us

Introducing Jackal.Today: The Advertising Empire You’ve Always Dreamed Of!

Finn October 8, 2024
Editorial
Editorial 2026 main
Breaking, Editorial

Jackal Today’s New Year Message: We Hope 2026 Finally Stops Plagiarizing Our Satire as Breaking News

Finn December 31, 2025
May 2026
S M T W T F S
 12
3456789
10111213141516
17181920212223
24252627282930
31  
« Apr    
Copyright © 2026 Jackal.Today satirical news site | Spotlight News by Ascendoor | Powered by WordPress.
Manage Consent
To provide the best experiences, we use technologies like cookies to store and/or access device information. Consenting to these technologies will allow us to process data such as browsing behavior or unique IDs on this site. Not consenting or withdrawing consent, may adversely affect certain features and functions.
Functional Always active
The technical storage or access is strictly necessary for the legitimate purpose of enabling the use of a specific service explicitly requested by the subscriber or user, or for the sole purpose of carrying out the transmission of a communication over an electronic communications network.
Preferences
The technical storage or access is necessary for the legitimate purpose of storing preferences that are not requested by the subscriber or user.
Statistics
The technical storage or access that is used exclusively for statistical purposes. The technical storage or access that is used exclusively for anonymous statistical purposes. Without a subpoena, voluntary compliance on the part of your Internet Service Provider, or additional records from a third party, information stored or retrieved for this purpose alone cannot usually be used to identify you.
Marketing
The technical storage or access is required to create user profiles to send advertising, or to track the user on a website or across several websites for similar marketing purposes.
Manage options Manage services Manage {vendor_count} vendors Read more about these purposes
View preferences
{title} {title} {title}