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Author: Big Elephant

Armchair patriot. Believes in the free market, cold beer, and that there’s always a guy named George behind every CNN segment.

Former remote-throwing champion turned #1 couch commentator on liberal panic in the media. Born in Texas (or so his mug says), he earned a degree in Fake Newsology & Beer Philosophy from YouTube University.

TikTok Deletes Huda Kattan’s Video After She Goes Full-On Conspiracy Nutjob
Elephant Reads CNN

TikTok Deletes Huda Kattan’s Video After She Goes Full-On Conspiracy Nutjob

Big ElephantAugust 3, 2025August 3, 2025

Oh, the horror! Another leftist celebrity, Huda Kattan, spewing anti-Israel conspiracy theories! I bet George Soros is behind this! This…

Alaskan Road Trip Turns Deadly: Moose Declares Victory Over Carload of Tourists
Elephant Reads CNN

Alaskan Road Trip Turns Deadly: Moose Declares Victory Over Carload of Tourists

Big ElephantAugust 3, 2025August 3, 2025

Folks, can you believe this? A Bulgarian and a North Macedonian, probably card-carrying liberals, smack into a MOOSE in Alaska!…

Back-to-School Shopping Already? Ugh, Take My Money Now, I Guess
Elephant Reads CNN

Back-to-School Shopping Already? Ugh, Take My Money Now, I Guess

Big ElephantAugust 3, 2025August 3, 2025

Back-to-school shopping? More like back-to-woke indoctrination! CNN is pushing fear again, blaming President Trump’s tariffs. As if parents aren’t buying…

NYC Midtown Shooting: When New Yorkers Stopped Caring (and Started Ordering Lunch) | CNN
Elephant Reads CNN

NYC Midtown Shooting: When New Yorkers Stopped Caring (and Started Ordering Lunch) | CNN

Big ElephantAugust 3, 2025August 3, 2025

Oh, the horror! Another shooting in the once-great, now Lib-infested, New York City. And what’s the media focusing on? Not…

Flint declares water safe after only poisoning people for a decade, but don’t drink it lol
Elephant Reads CNN

Flint declares water safe after only poisoning people for a decade, but don’t drink it lol

Big ElephantAugust 3, 2025August 3, 2025

Oh, isn’t it just heartwarming to hear about Flint, Michigan, still whining about their water? Eleven years, folks! Eleven years…

Sydney’s marchers demand world peace (and free hummus) in Gaza
Elephant Reads CNN

Sydney’s marchers demand world peace (and free hummus) in Gaza

Big ElephantAugust 3, 2025August 3, 2025

Oh, look, more virtue signaling from the land down under! Thousands of sheep marched for “peace” – probably organized by…

Texas Republicans redraw map, look to steal seats from defenseless Democrats
Elephant Reads CNN

Texas Republicans redraw map, look to steal seats from defenseless Democrats

Big ElephantAugust 3, 2025August 3, 2025

Texas Republicans, blessed by the wisdom of President Trump, are bravely forging ahead with a plan to secure our glorious…

Jack Smith’s Getting Investigated? Color Me Shocked
Elephant Reads CNN

Jack Smith’s Getting Investigated? Color Me Shocked

Big ElephantAugust 3, 2025August 3, 2025

Lock Him Up! It seems that even deep state operatives like Jack Smith aren’t immune to the long arm of…

Cory Booker tells Dems to stop simping for Trump
Elephant Reads CNN

Cory Booker tells Dems to stop simping for Trump

Big ElephantAugust 3, 2025August 3, 2025

Oh, the horror! Cory Booker, the woke warrior from New Jersey, is losing his organic, fair-trade mind! He’s imploring his…

Trump Punks Penny-Pinching Public with Package Tax Prank
Elephant Reads CNN

Trump Punks Penny-Pinching Public with Package Tax Prank

Big ElephantAugust 3, 2025August 3, 2025

Oh, the liberal tears are flowing like a mighty river! President Trump, in his infinite wisdom, is shutting down the…

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