Skip to content
https://jackal.today/

Jackal.Today satirical news site

Jackal.Today satirical news site

  • Home
  • Breaking
    • Sport News
    • The Orange Oracle
  • Live
  • Spin the fake!
  • Elephant Reads CNN
  • Videos
  • Movie News
  • Music News
    • Phil Anselmo Daily Grimaces
  • Games News
  • Jackal Research Division
    • Legalizer
    • Spin Of The Day
  • Editorial
    • Advertise with us!
    • About Satirical Fake News Site Jackal.Today
    • Agreements and Personal data
    • Terms and Conditions
    • Opt-out preferences
    • Contact the editorial team
    • Authors

Author: Big Elephant

Armchair patriot. Believes in the free market, cold beer, and that there’s always a guy named George behind every CNN segment.

Former remote-throwing champion turned #1 couch commentator on liberal panic in the media. Born in Texas (or so his mug says), he earned a degree in Fake Newsology & Beer Philosophy from YouTube University.

Netanyahu Declares NYC Mayoral Candidate’s Ideas So Dumb, They’re Basically a Threat to World Peace
Elephant Reads CNN

Netanyahu Declares NYC Mayoral Candidate’s Ideas So Dumb, They’re Basically a Threat to World Peace

Big ElephantJuly 21, 2025July 21, 2025

Oh, the horror! CNN is reporting on how Israeli Prime Minister Netanyahu dared to criticize some radical leftist Dem running…

DHS Drops Spicy New Border Patrol Agent Shootout Vid
Elephant Reads CNN

DHS Drops Spicy New Border Patrol Agent Shootout Vid

Big ElephantJuly 21, 2025July 21, 2025

Another day, another crime in the once-great state of New York, now a festering sanctuary for illegals and home to…

Pepsi Jumps on the Bandwagon: Probiotic Soda – Because Regular Soda Wasn’t Unhealthy Enough
Elephant Reads CNN

Pepsi Jumps on the Bandwagon: Probiotic Soda – Because Regular Soda Wasn’t Unhealthy Enough

Big ElephantJuly 21, 2025July 21, 2025

Another day, another woke corporation bowing down to the liberal mob! Pepsi, once a proud purveyor of sugary goodness, is…

REPUBLICANS LOVE EPSTEIN FILES (THEY’RE OBSESSED)
Elephant Reads CNN

REPUBLICANS LOVE EPSTEIN FILES (THEY’RE OBSESSED)

Big ElephantJuly 21, 2025July 21, 2025

Oh, CNN is at it again, folks! They’re clutching their pearls over the Epstein files, trying to paint President Trump…

Malcolm-Jamal Warner DIES?! Oh wait, he’s just 54 and still kicking, my bad
Elephant Reads CNN

Malcolm-Jamal Warner DIES?! Oh wait, he’s just 54 and still kicking, my bad

Big ElephantJuly 21, 2025July 21, 2025

Another one bites the dust! Hollywood leftist Malcolm-Jamal Warner, famous for “The Cosby Show” (before Bill got cancelled by the…

Colbert’s “Late Show” Debut: Will He Bite the Hand That Pays Him (Literally)?
Elephant Reads CNN

Colbert’s “Late Show” Debut: Will He Bite the Hand That Pays Him (Literally)?

Big ElephantJuly 21, 2025July 21, 2025

Folks, you won’t believe the latest from the Fake News Network! It seems that poor, poor Stephen Colbert is losing…

Starbucks spills the beans on the earth-shattering return of the Pumpkin Spice Latte
Elephant Reads CNN

Starbucks spills the beans on the earth-shattering return of the Pumpkin Spice Latte

Big ElephantJuly 21, 2025July 21, 2025

Ah, CNN, still obsessing over Starbucks while the REAL news is being suppressed by the Deep State! Millions “coping” with…

Beef Prices Skyrocket: Prepare to Sell Your Firstborn for a Steak
Elephant Reads CNN

Beef Prices Skyrocket: Prepare to Sell Your Firstborn for a Steak

Big ElephantJuly 21, 2025July 21, 2025

Oh, the horror! First eggs, now beef! Can you believe these socialist policies are making our steaks unaffordable? It’s all…

Chicago Small Businesses Pray the Pope Doesn’t Hate Capitalism
Elephant Reads CNN

Chicago Small Businesses Pray the Pope Doesn’t Hate Capitalism

Big ElephantJuly 21, 2025July 21, 2025

Ah, CNN, always finding new ways to spin reality. Now they’re pushing the “Pope Economy” in Chicago because the new…

5 Things You Should Probably Know on July 21 (But Let’s Be Real, You’ll Forget by Noon): Water Everywhere, More Unhappy Places, That Thing Still Happening, Another Car Did a Thing, and Some Team or Something
Elephant Reads CNN

5 Things You Should Probably Know on July 21 (But Let’s Be Real, You’ll Forget by Noon): Water Everywhere, More Unhappy Places, That Thing Still Happening, Another Car Did a Thing, and Some Team or Something

Big ElephantJuly 21, 2025July 21, 2025

Well, folks, another day, another deluge of drivel from the Fake News Network! They’re still pushing their global warming hoax,…

Posts pagination

Previous 1 … 396 397 398 … 458 Next

Latest posts

  • Arizona Frats Keep Raising Bar On Alleged Misconduct
  • Oregon seafood plant fire because apparently fish wasn’t smelly enough already
  • Sununu Banks On Family Fame In New Hampshire
  • Turnstile Packs Washington Monument with 60,000 Fans for Charity
  • Flying Cars Still Not A Thing Apparently

Editorial
Ads cut
Advertise with us

Introducing Jackal.Today: The Advertising Empire You’ve Always Dreamed Of!

Finn October 8, 2024
Editorial
Editorial 2026 main
Breaking, Editorial

Jackal Today’s New Year Message: We Hope 2026 Finally Stops Plagiarizing Our Satire as Breaking News

Finn December 31, 2025
October 2026
S M T W T F S
 123
45678910
11121314151617
18192021222324
25262728293031
« Sep    
Copyright © 2026 Jackal.Today satirical news site | Spotlight News by Ascendoor | Powered by WordPress.