10 Ways To Honor Chuck Norris
Action hero and martial arts master Chuck Norris has departed from this world to fight supernatural forces in the…
Blog
Confirmed: In His Final Days, Charlie Kirk Came To Agree With Whatever You Believe
U.S. — Following an extensive study that involved gathering information from all internet users, influencers, and podcasters, it has…
Lawmakers Buy Waterfall On Redfin
A bipartisan group of Oregon lawmakers approved $2.1 million to buy the 92-foot-tall Abiqua Falls after it was put…
California Abandons $250 Billion Study On Why It Has So Many Unfinished Projects
SACRAMENTO, CA — California’s $250 billion study looking into why it has so many unfinished projects was abandoned while…
ABC Cancels Mormonism
NEW YORK—Pulling the plug on the religion in light of a newly released video featuring church member Taylor Frankie…
Theologians Believe Every Meal In Heaven Is Ice Cream In A Miniature Baseball Helmet
NOTRE DAME, IN — After a thought-provoking roundtable discussion, theologians at the University of Notre Dame concluded that every…
American Baked Potato Association Study Finds It Best To Load ’Er Up
The post American Baked Potato Association Study Finds It Best To Load ’Er Up appeared first on The Onion.…
Newsom Allocates $900 Million For Black Bear Porta-Potties
SACRAMENTO, CA — Governor Gavin Newsom announced the signing of an executive order that allocates over $900 million of…
Chuck Norris, Walker Texas Ranger Legend, Finally Gets Tired of Kicking Death in the Face at 86
Chuck Norris, the human embodiment of the phrase “Don’t mess with Texas,” has finally met his match—Father Time. Yes, you…
The White House Unveils Its Master Plan to Tame the AI Beast—Or at Least Try Not to Get Eaten First
Well, well, well—look who’s stepping in to save the day again. President Donald J. Trump, the undisputed champion of American…