Travis Kelce Bummed Fiancée Signed Him Up For NFL Again
LEAWOOD, KS—Groaning at the thought of having to be somewhere on the weekend, Travis Kelce was reportedly feeling bummed Monday after…
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Trump Demands Staff Get King Of Hormuz On Line
WASHINGTON—In a bid to regain access to the sea passage through which ships enter the Persian Gulf, President Donald…
‘Jim Crow 2.0!’ Shouts Chuck Schumer While Being Escorted Out Of Costco For Not Having Membership Card
ALEXANDRIA, VA — Senator Chuck Schumer was seen struggling with Costco security guards after failing to show his membership…
Slots were invented in 1894. People in 1893:
So they really had to wait a whole year just to gamble?
Trump Beefs Up Security Presence After Frighteningly Close Brush With JD Vance
WASHINGTON—Alarmed at the shocking lapse in protocol that nearly resulted in disaster, a shaken President Donald Trump ordered his…
Ayatollah Disappointed To Learn 72 Virgins Awaiting Him In Paradise Are All Women
TEHRAN — With rumors about his sexual preferences circulating amid the ongoing military conflict ravaging his country, the new…
Leaving Las Vegas – Watch the trailer for the new 4K restoration (now with 4000% more despair and Nicolas Cage’s existential crisis in stunning HD!)
Hey, you! Yes, YOU, the one who thinks Nicolas Cage’s Oscar is for screaming at bees. Get ready to relive…
Senate Foreign Relations Clown, Dem Sen. Chris Van Hollen, Yaps About Oil Shipping Route Drama
OMG, Libs Are Freaking Out Over Trump’s Plan to Secure Oil! (Again!) Oh, good gravy, here we go again! The…
White House Chief of Staff Susie Wiles Diagnosed with Early Stage Breast Cancer, Trump Reveals in Epic Announcement!
Breaking News: White House Chief of Staff Susie Wiles Diagnosed with Breast Cancer! Well, folks, it seems like even the…
Fuze – Watch Aaron Taylor-Johnson, Theo James and Sam Worthington Attempt to Steal a Plot That’s Barely There in the New Heist Thriller Trailer
So, picture this: You’re sipping your tea, minding your own business in London when suddenly—BOOM!—well, not actually BOOM, thank God—but…