Trump Demands Staff Get King Of Hormuz On Line

JT

      

WASHINGTON—In a bid to regain access to the sea passage through which ships enter the Persian Gulf, President Donald Trump ordered staff to get the King of Hormuz on the line, White House sources confirmed Monday. “Put me on with the royal leader of Hormuz, ASAP—I need to convince him to reopen his water,” said the commander-in-chief, assuring aides they must have the royal family’s contact information somewhere since he’d spoken to the Crown Prince of Hormuz many times before. “I plan to warn him that he doesn’t want to take his chances on a war between Hormuz and America. After all, we are two of the world’s greatest superpowers and have long-standing diplomatic ties. I remember him being a very reasonable guy, so I am simply going to remind him what happened when Mr. Panama tried to test me.” Trump added that if he did not hear back from the King of Hormuz within 24 hours, he would have no choice but to attack the capital, Hormuz City.

The post Trump Demands Staff Get King Of Hormuz On Line appeared first on The Onion.

   WASHINGTON—In a bid to regain access to the sea passage through which ships enter the Persian Gulf, President Donald Trump ordered staff to get the King of Hormuz on the line, White House sources confirmed Monday. “Put me on with the royal leader of Hormuz, ASAP—I need to convince him to reopen his water,” said
The post Trump Demands Staff Get King Of Hormuz On Line appeared first on The Onion. Read More

Finn

Finn McFrame, celebrated satirical mastermind and self-proclaimed “Emperor of Irony,” started his illustrious career as a cinematographer, where his expertise in capturing every single frame of a squirrel stealing a baguette earned him accolades at obscure film festivals.

Born in the glamorous town of Boring, Oregon, Finn grew up with dreams of being a Hollywood director until he realized that satire, not cinema, was his true calling—or at least the one that let him sleep until noon.

Finn McFrame: changing the world, one satirical lens flare at a time.

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