In Huge Black Friday Deal, Dyson Vacuum On Sale For Just $7,000
CHICAGO, IL — Consumers across America were shocked and elated to land huge deals after finding out Dyson vacuums would…
Category: Babylon Bee
Are You An Alcoholic? Look For These Warning Signs
Alcoholism is a dangerous condition affecting millions across the United States each and every year, from the poorest among us…
Man Does His Part To Prepare For Thanksgiving By Not Going Into Kitchen So He Won’t Be In The Way
GREEN VALLEY LAKE, CA — Local man Landon Collings, 45, heroically volunteered to do the most important part of Thanksgiving…
‘Don’t Let Anyone Take Your Power,’ Tipsy Aunt Kamala Tells Confused Five-Year-Olds at Thanksgiving Kids’ Table
WASHINGTON, D.C. — Children sitting at the kids’ table during Kamala Harris’s family Thankgiving dinner were confused and “a little…
Southern Wife Arrested For Failing To Serve Drinks In Mason Jars
OXFORD, MS — The Thanksgiving week turned ugly for one local family, as a southern wife was arrested and booked…
We Asked 12 Public Figures What They’re Thankful For This Year. Here’s What They Said
It’s the fourth week of November, which means it’s time for us all to do a little introspection and consider…
Even Better Film Adaptation Of Lord of the Rings Will Just Be An Old British Guy Reading The Books Out Loud For 56 Hours
HOLLYWOOD, CA — While Peter Jackson’s stirring movies have become one of the most popular film adaptations of any book…
‘I Sure Love Pumpkin Pie,’ Says Man Spraying Gallon Of Reddi-Whip Over Pumpkin Pie
TOLEDO, OH — Local man Jacob Nicholson repeatedly declared his love for pumpkin pie today while covering a 12-inch pie…
Hungover Kamala Harris Gets Sinking Feeling While Checking If She Drunk-Posted Anything Yesterday
WASHINGTON, D.C. — Nursing a vicious hangover, Vice President Kamala Harris began to get a sinking feeling as she pulled…
Kamala Officially Unburdened By Sobriety
U.S. — Vice President Kamala Harris released a video to let followers know that with the Presidential race over, she…