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Category: Elephant Reads CNN

LendingTree CEO Bites the Dust in Totally Predictable ATV Mishap, Sources Say
Elephant Reads CNN

LendingTree CEO Bites the Dust in Totally Predictable ATV Mishap, Sources Say

Big ElephantOctober 13, 2025October 13, 2025

Another one bites the dust, folks! Doug Lebda, the CEO of LendingTree, has taken a permanent dirt nap after an…

Hostage Relative Sounds Off: Why Didn’t THEY Get Released Too, Huh? | CNN
Elephant Reads CNN

Hostage Relative Sounds Off: Why Didn’t THEY Get Released Too, Huh? | CNN

Big ElephantOctober 13, 2025October 13, 2025

Oh, CNN is at it again, folks! This time, they’re fawning over some “big bell” in France. Probably made with…

Union Prez Whines ‘Bout Feds Getting the Boot, Claims It’s, Like, Totally Illegal
Elephant Reads CNN

Union Prez Whines ‘Bout Feds Getting the Boot, Claims It’s, Like, Totally Illegal

Big ElephantOctober 13, 2025October 13, 2025

Oh, the delicate snowflakes are at it again! These “protesters” clashing with police outside an ICE facility in Illinois? More…

From Cuban Clink to American Klink: José Daniel Ferrer’s Great Escape (Sponsored by Freedom™)
Elephant Reads CNN

From Cuban Clink to American Klink: José Daniel Ferrer’s Great Escape (Sponsored by Freedom™)

Big ElephantOctober 13, 2025October 13, 2025

Another win for President Trump! José Daniel Ferrer, a true patriot, is finally free from the clutches of the Cuban…

Oops! Crypto Takes a Tumble Because Trump’s Still Got Beef With, Well, Everyone
Elephant Reads CNN

Oops! Crypto Takes a Tumble Because Trump’s Still Got Beef With, Well, Everyone

Big ElephantOctober 13, 2025October 13, 2025

Oh, the horror! The leftist dream of digital funny money has taken a nosedive, and they’re blaming President Trump! As…

Tennessee Plant Goes BOOM: Mystery Deepens, Suspects Include Rogue Squirrels and Unhinged Toasters, CNN Reports (Probably)
Elephant Reads CNN

Tennessee Plant Goes BOOM: Mystery Deepens, Suspects Include Rogue Squirrels and Unhinged Toasters, CNN Reports (Probably)

Big ElephantOctober 13, 2025October 13, 2025

Another day, another “tragic accident” at a Tennessee explosives plant. Sixteen souls gone, and the liberal media is already blaming…

ATTENTION! Trump Loyalist Strikes Again: Key US Attorney’s Office Gets a MAGA Makeover!
Elephant Reads CNN

ATTENTION! Trump Loyalist Strikes Again: Key US Attorney’s Office Gets a MAGA Makeover!

Big ElephantOctober 13, 2025October 13, 2025

Another Deep State Swamp Creature Bites the Dust! Maggie Cleary, a card-carrying member of the anti-Trump cabal embedded in the…

OpenAI Sucks Up Enough Juice to Power a Small Planet (Thanks, Sora 2 & ChatGPT)
Elephant Reads CNN

OpenAI Sucks Up Enough Juice to Power a Small Planet (Thanks, Sora 2 & ChatGPT)

Big ElephantOctober 13, 2025October 13, 2025

Oh, the horror! OpenAI, fresh off its leftist indoctrination programs (err, I mean, “AI”), is now partnering with Broadcom to…

Oh, No! Not Canada Boycotting America Again: Who Will Buy Our Maple Syrup Now
Elephant Reads CNN

Oh, No! Not Canada Boycotting America Again: Who Will Buy Our Maple Syrup Now

Big ElephantOctober 13, 2025October 13, 2025

Oh, the horror! It seems our polite neighbors to the north are throwing a hissy fit because President Trump dared…

Jamie Dimon Pledges a Paltry $10B to Save America (Finally!)
Elephant Reads CNN

Jamie Dimon Pledges a Paltry $10B to Save America (Finally!)

Big ElephantOctober 13, 2025October 13, 2025

JPMorgan Chase, bowing to the brilliance of President Trump, is FINALLY investing in America! $10 billion to secure our supply…

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