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Category: Elephant Reads CNN

Prepare to say ‘I do’ to crippling debt: How tariffs are about to obliterate your wedding budget
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

Prepare to say ‘I do’ to crippling debt: How tariffs are about to obliterate your wedding budget

Big ElephantNovember 9, 2025November 9, 2025

Oh, the horror! It seems even weddings aren’t safe from the clutches of globalist tariffs, according to CNN, which is…

Newsom Declares Dems’ Tuesday Triumphs, Like Prop 50, Usher in ‘a new moment’ (as if we didn’t see it coming) for the Party | CNN Politics
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

Newsom Declares Dems’ Tuesday Triumphs, Like Prop 50, Usher in ‘a new moment’ (as if we didn’t see it coming) for the Party | CNN Politics

Big ElephantNovember 9, 2025November 9, 2025

Gavin Newsom, fresh from his “sweeping election victory” (thanks to rigging the system, no doubt!), is now claiming it represents…

Dems channeling their inner Zohran Mamdani: cringefest incoming
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

Dems channeling their inner Zohran Mamdani: cringefest incoming

Big ElephantNovember 9, 2025November 9, 2025

Oh, the horror! The Democrats are at it again, trying to manipulate the masses with their fancy “online electorate” strategies.…

NYC Voters Accidentally Okayed a Building Boom: World Domination Next?
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

NYC Voters Accidentally Okayed a Building Boom: World Domination Next?

Big ElephantNovember 9, 2025November 9, 2025

Oh, the horror! New York City, once a beacon of capitalism, has now fallen further into the clutches of socialism!…

“OMG, the Government Shutdown: Is This the End of Avocado Toast?”
Government Shutdown: Is This the End of the World (or Just the End of Liberal Excess)?
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

“OMG, the Government Shutdown: Is This the End of Avocado Toast?”

Big ElephantNovember 8, 2025November 8, 2025

The liberal media is wailing about the “longest government shutdown in US history,” as if President Trump isn’t doing exactly…

So, You Wanna Donate to Charity Without Getting Fleeced, Huh
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

So, You Wanna Donate to Charity Without Getting Fleeced, Huh

Big ElephantNovember 8, 2025November 8, 2025

Oh, the holidays! A time for giving, and apparently, a time for leftist platforms to nickel and dime you for…

Breaking: Local Bar Regulars Devastated That UPS Plane Crash Ruined Their Buzz
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

Breaking: Local Bar Regulars Devastated That UPS Plane Crash Ruined Their Buzz

Big ElephantNovember 8, 2025November 8, 2025

Another day, another disaster, and of course, the liberal media is all over it, trying to make President Trump look…

CNN: Trump, MAGA, and Stanford Walk Into a Bar and Decide Your Healthcare
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

CNN: Trump, MAGA, and Stanford Walk Into a Bar and Decide Your Healthcare

Big ElephantNovember 8, 2025November 8, 2025

Stanford: Breeding Ground for Patriots or Socialist Fifth Column? You Decide! It seems the liberal snowflakes at CNN are melting…

Supreme Court to Decide if Dreadlocks are More Important Than Prison Officials’ Feelings
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

Supreme Court to Decide if Dreadlocks are More Important Than Prison Officials’ Feelings

Big ElephantNovember 8, 2025November 8, 2025

Supreme Court to Hear Case of Rastafarian Forced to Shave Dreadlocks – Another Attempt to Undermine Law Enforcement? **Here we…

CNN Thinks You Still Hate Trump (as if you needed reminding)
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

CNN Thinks You Still Hate Trump (as if you needed reminding)

Big ElephantNovember 8, 2025November 8, 2025

Another day, another attempt by the Fake News CNN to undermine our Glorious President Trump! They’re twisting the results of…

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Jackal Today’s New Year Message: We Hope 2026 Finally Stops Plagiarizing Our Satire as Breaking News

Finn December 31, 2025
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