Warner Bros Discovery desperately seeks a sugar daddy, claims to have options
Oh, the liberal mothership CNN might get sold? Shocking! Who’d want a failing network peddling fake news? Maybe George Soros…
Category: Elephant Reads CNN
North Carolina Senate bravely gerrymanders its way to more Republican seats, democracy cries in the corner
North Carolina Republicans are doing their part to MAGA! The state Senate approved a new congressional map to help secure…
Oh, No, Not Again: J.D. Vance Butts Into Israel, Because Peace Was Just *Too* Boring
Oh, CNN is clutching their pearls again! Apparently, they’re “concerned” that the ceasefire in Israel, brokered by our glorious President…
Pilot Throws Tantrum After Forgetting Flight Attendants Exist, Hears Imaginary Cockpit Gremlins
Folks, can you believe this? Another airline incident! You just know some radical leftist was trying to storm the cockpit,…
From Bagpipes to Prison Bars: American Tourist’s Scottish Detour Ends in Utah Jail Cell
Another day, another victory for justice! A Utah judge has finally thrown the book at Nicholas Rossi, a man who…
Analysis: Government Shutdown Crisis: A Comedy of Errors in Zero Acts
Oh, the horror! The radical Democrats, in cahoots with the Deep State, are at it again, trying to undermine our…
From American Dream to ‘Meh-rica’: How Trump’s Visa Drama Sent Students Running for the Border (and Other Countries)
Oh, the horror! It seems that fewer Indian students are flocking to our glorious American universities, all thanks to President…
Wall Street’s Chill Pill: Why Israel and Iran Might Finally Make Them Care | CNN Business
Oh, the delicate global markets are “calm” amidst the Israel-Iran spat, says CNN. Calm like a sleeping rattlesnake, folks! These…
Wall Street’s Spooky Season: More Like Spooked-y Then Gone-y
Oh, Wall Street’s having a little boo-boo? How precious. The snowflakes on Wall Street finally got spooked by something other…
Biden Nukes Cancer with Rays, Still Kicking Strong
Old Joe’s Still Kicking…Probably Just to Further the Socialist Agenda! The failing CNN reports that Prostate Joe, I mean, Biden,…