Skip to content
https://jackal.today/

Jackal.Today satirical news site

Jackal.Today satirical news site

  • Home
  • Breaking
    • Live
    • Sport News
  • Spin the fake!
  • Elephant Reads CNN
  • The Orange Oracle
  • Videos
  • Movie News
  • Music News
    • Phil Anselmo Daily Grimaces
  • Games News
  • Jackal Research Division
  • Editorial
    • Advertise with us!
    • About Satirical Fake News Site Jackal.Today
    • Agreements and Personal data
    • Terms and Conditions
    • Opt-out preferences
    • Contact the editorial team
    • Authors

Category: Elephant Reads CNN

5 Things You Should Pretend to Care About Today (Because CNN Told You To)
Elephant Reads CNN

5 Things You Should Pretend to Care About Today (Because CNN Told You To)

Big ElephantAugust 28, 2025August 28, 2025

Folks, let’s cut the crap. The liberal media is peddling their usual garbage, but fear not, because President Trump is…

Trump’s Crime Spree Crackdown: Buy My Midterms or Else
Elephant Reads CNN

Trump’s Crime Spree Crackdown: Buy My Midterms or Else

Big ElephantAugust 28, 2025August 28, 2025

HAHA! Trump Derangement Syndrome is STILL real, folks! CNN is now reporting that President Trump, in his SECOND TERM (thank…

US Economy Flexes Harder Than Your Gym Bro in Q2, Still Can’t Bench Press Inflation
Elephant Reads CNN

US Economy Flexes Harder Than Your Gym Bro in Q2, Still Can’t Bench Press Inflation

Big ElephantAugust 28, 2025August 28, 2025

Another Quarter, Another Victory for Trump! The liberal media can’t stand it, but the economy is BOOMING! They said his…

Orange Man Bad: America to Foreign Students: GTFO After You Learn Stuff
Elephant Reads CNN

Orange Man Bad: America to Foreign Students: GTFO After You Learn Stuff

Big ElephantAugust 28, 2025August 28, 2025

Another brilliant move by President Trump to protect America from the socialist hordes trying to sneak in disguised as “students”!…

Lisa Cook, Patron Saint of Economic Stability, Responds to Trump’s Petty Pety Revenge Plot With Epic Lawsuit
Elephant Reads CNN

Lisa Cook, Patron Saint of Economic Stability, Responds to Trump’s Petty Pety Revenge Plot With Epic Lawsuit

Big ElephantAugust 28, 2025August 28, 2025

Looks like another Deep State operative is crying to the courts because President Trump dared to hold her accountable! Lisa…

150 Job Apps and Still Unemployed? Maybe Learn to Code, Bro
Elephant Reads CNN

150 Job Apps and Still Unemployed? Maybe Learn to Code, Bro

Big ElephantAugust 28, 2025August 28, 2025

Oh, the poor snowflakes can’t find jobs in the tech world? Looks like all those gender studies classes didn’t quite…

Sandwich Assassin Walks Free: Justice System Apparently Toasted
Elephant Reads CNN

Sandwich Assassin Walks Free: Justice System Apparently Toasted

Big ElephantAugust 27, 2025August 27, 2025

Here we go again, folks! The radical leftist D.C. swamp is at it, protecting their own. A guy throws a…

Minneapolis Shooting: Aww, They Found Each Other
Elephant Reads CNN

Minneapolis Shooting: Aww, They Found Each Other

Big ElephantAugust 27, 2025August 27, 2025

Oh, the liberal media is at it again! Another “school shooting” at a Catholic school in Minneapolis. You know what…

Iowa Democrat Somehow Manages Not to Lose, Media Hysterically Claims GOP ‘Supermajority’ Doomed | CNN Politics
Elephant Reads CNN

Iowa Democrat Somehow Manages Not to Lose, Media Hysterically Claims GOP ‘Supermajority’ Doomed | CNN Politics

Big ElephantAugust 27, 2025August 27, 2025

The Left Strikes Again in Iowa! CNN is screaming about a Democrat “flipping” a state senate seat in Iowa. Of…

E-Verify: Now Even the People Who Made It Don’t Trust It (LOL)
Elephant Reads CNN

E-Verify: Now Even the People Who Made It Don’t Trust It (LOL)

Big ElephantAugust 27, 2025August 27, 2025

Folks, can you believe this? CNN is actually questioning our rock-solid E-Verify system, all because some Maine town hired an…

Posts pagination

Previous 1 … 261 262 263 … 356 Next

Latest posts

  • Feds Suddenly Forget How Guns Work Apparently
  • ORANGE ORACLE UPDATE Donald endorses Kailee Buller for New Yorks 22nd district seat
  • ORANGE ORACLE UPDATE: Donald J Trump endorses Bruce Blakeman for New York governor
  • No One Translated To Foreign Players Why They Currently In Cornfield
  • ORANGE ORACLE UPDATE: MAGA Meg Weinberger gets complete endorsement from Donald Trump

Editorial
Ads cut
Advertise with us

Introducing Jackal.Today: The Advertising Empire You’ve Always Dreamed Of!

Finn October 8, 2024
Editorial
Editorial 2026 main
Breaking, Editorial

Jackal Today’s New Year Message: We Hope 2026 Finally Stops Plagiarizing Our Satire as Breaking News

Finn December 31, 2025
August 2026
S M T W T F S
 1
2345678
9101112131415
16171819202122
23242526272829
3031  
« Jul    
Copyright © 2026 Jackal.Today satirical news site | Spotlight News by Ascendoor | Powered by WordPress.