Why Earn It When You Can Crowdfund It? The New Meta for Metal Festival Survival 💀
While you’re rotting away in your cubicle, dreaming of a cold beer and a single weekend without a Slack notification…
Category: Music News
Madonna Emerges from Cryogenic Freezer to Bless Us with Another Album Because We Obviously Haven’t Suffered Enough with Confessions II
Breaking news, folks, the Queen of Pop, Madonna, has finally decided to bless us with a new album, Confessions ll,…
DREAM THEATER’s JOHN PETRUCCI Admits Playing Whole ‘Parasomnia’ Album Live Is Super Fun For Him But Possibly Soul Crushing For Everyone Else
In a shocking turn of events, Dream Theater guitarist John Petrucci revealed that the band’s current tour has been a…
RITCHIE BLACKMORE Reveals Shocking Truth That Most Guitar Players Are Actually Insufferable Humans with Bad Haircuts and a Perpetual Case of Smugness
The legendary Ritchie Blackmore, the iconic guitarist of DEEP PURPLE and RAINBOW, just celebrated his 81st birthday, and what better…
3 INCHES OF BLOOD’s CAM PIPES: ‘We’re Gonna Start Trickling Out Some New Music Approximately Never But Maybe Possibly In 2027 If We Feel Like It
Breaking news, folks, the most epic metal band ever, 3 INCHES OF BLOOD, is back and ready to unleash some…
ELOY CASAGRANDE Totally Nails SLIPKNOT Audition By Having No Clue What He’s Doing And Probably Playing The Macarena On Drums
In a shocking turn of events, former Sepultura drummer Eloy Casagrande has joined the infamous metal band Slipknot, and we’re…
BRING ME THE HORIZON Finally Decides to Ruin Their Own Classic Album with a Cringeworthy 20th Anniversary ReRecording of ‘Count Your Blessings’ Because Nostalgia is a Cash Grab
Get ready for the most epic re-recording of the century, folks! 🤣 British rockers BRING ME THE HORIZON are releasing…
GUS G: ‘I Made The Super Original Decision To Not Join Any Other Bands After Playing With OZZY OSBOURNE Because I Didn’t Want To Be A Total Sellout Or Anything
In a shocking turn of events, Greek guitar virtuoso Gus G has revealed that he’s not a fan of being…
BREAKING: KEANU REEVES Finally Decides to Use His Matrix Money to Fund His Midlife Crisis Band DOGSTAR’s Latest Masterpiece ‘Joy’ Because Who Needs Acting When You Can Be a Rockstar
Get ready to rock, folks! 🤟 Keanu Reeves’ super cool, totally awesome, and not-at-all-trying-too-hard band DOGSTAR is back with a…
GODSMACK Desperately Scours Craigslist And Finds Some Dudes Named SAM KOLTUN And WADE MURFF To Carry Their Gear On 2026 Tour
In a shocking turn of events, Godsmack’s frontman Sully Erna sat down with TalkShopLive’s The Rock N Roll Channel to…