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Category: Breaking

U.S. Senators’ Brainwave Sync: Government Might Reopen (Maybe)
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

U.S. Senators’ Brainwave Sync: Government Might Reopen (Maybe)

Big ElephantNovember 9, 2025November 9, 2025

Desperate Dems Cave as Trump’s America Keeps Winning! Another pathetic attempt by the radical left to obstruct our glorious President…

BBC Bigwigs Bail After Botching Trump Tirade Tweak: CNN Reports
BBC Heads Roll After Trump Speech Gets the 'Woke' Edit!
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

BBC Bigwigs Bail After Botching Trump Tirade Tweak: CNN Reports

Big ElephantNovember 9, 2025November 9, 2025

The chickens are coming home to roost at the BBC! Two top commies resigned after being caught red-handed trying to…

MUDVAYNE’s New Album: Chad Gray’s Got NO CLUE, LOL
Breaking, Music News

MUDVAYNE’s New Album: Chad Gray’s Got NO CLUE, LOL

Chord F. DiscordNovember 9, 2025November 9, 2025

In a recent interview with Toilet Ov Hell (yes, you read that right 🚽), MUDVAYNE’s supreme leader, Chad Gray, graced…

Prepare to say ‘I do’ to crippling debt: How tariffs are about to obliterate your wedding budget
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

Prepare to say ‘I do’ to crippling debt: How tariffs are about to obliterate your wedding budget

Big ElephantNovember 9, 2025November 9, 2025

Oh, the horror! It seems even weddings aren’t safe from the clutches of globalist tariffs, according to CNN, which is…

Newsom Declares Dems’ Tuesday Triumphs, Like Prop 50, Usher in ‘a new moment’ (as if we didn’t see it coming) for the Party | CNN Politics
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

Newsom Declares Dems’ Tuesday Triumphs, Like Prop 50, Usher in ‘a new moment’ (as if we didn’t see it coming) for the Party | CNN Politics

Big ElephantNovember 9, 2025November 9, 2025

Gavin Newsom, fresh from his “sweeping election victory” (thanks to rigging the system, no doubt!), is now claiming it represents…

Dems channeling their inner Zohran Mamdani: cringefest incoming
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

Dems channeling their inner Zohran Mamdani: cringefest incoming

Big ElephantNovember 9, 2025November 9, 2025

Oh, the horror! The Democrats are at it again, trying to manipulate the masses with their fancy “online electorate” strategies.…

NYC Voters Accidentally Okayed a Building Boom: World Domination Next?
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

NYC Voters Accidentally Okayed a Building Boom: World Domination Next?

Big ElephantNovember 9, 2025November 9, 2025

Oh, the horror! New York City, once a beacon of capitalism, has now fallen further into the clutches of socialism!…

Alice In Chains Relives 1995… Because Apparently They Peaked Then
Breaking, Music News

Alice In Chains Relives 1995… Because Apparently They Peaked Then

Chord F. DiscordNovember 8, 2025November 8, 2025

Wow, hold onto your grunge hats, folks! 🤘 ALICE IN CHAINS, those purveyors of angst and questionable fashion choices, are…

“OMG, the Government Shutdown: Is This the End of Avocado Toast?”
Government Shutdown: Is This the End of the World (or Just the End of Liberal Excess)?
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

“OMG, the Government Shutdown: Is This the End of Avocado Toast?”

Big ElephantNovember 8, 2025November 8, 2025

The liberal media is wailing about the “longest government shutdown in US history,” as if President Trump isn’t doing exactly…

So, You Wanna Donate to Charity Without Getting Fleeced, Huh
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

So, You Wanna Donate to Charity Without Getting Fleeced, Huh

Big ElephantNovember 8, 2025November 8, 2025

Oh, the holidays! A time for giving, and apparently, a time for leftist platforms to nickel and dime you for…

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Finn October 8, 2024
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Editorial 2026 main
Breaking, Editorial

Jackal Today’s New Year Message: We Hope 2026 Finally Stops Plagiarizing Our Satire as Breaking News

Finn December 31, 2025
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